


The Golden Rule

by kattyk (zenithblue)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Castiel Has Nightmares, Dark Past, Drama & Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Grief/Mourning, Hospitals, Idiots in Love, Injury Recovery, Love, M/M, Mechanic Dean, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-18 07:11:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 75,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3560792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zenithblue/pseuds/kattyk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has a very bad day.  He fights with his dad, who's drunk, again.  And then he runs over a gorgeous blue eyed bicycle courier, who seems to have a death wish.  And then a devious nurse extracts a promise from him that makes him stand up to his responsibilities.  In the process he discovers a man with a wicked smile, a vicious temper and a bizarre sense of humour.</p><p>Castiel was already bruised before Dean ever got the chance to knock him off his bike.  Haunted by his past, terrified of getting too close to anyone, he keeps people back with a sharp temper and surly attitude.  The accident leaves him vulnerable in more ways than one, but in Dean he finds a humour to match his own, and a patience to soothe his sharp edges.  </p><p>Just as they begin to test whether they're really ready for the chance they've been given, all of the reasons Castiel had for keeping people at arms length return to haunt them both, forcing them to fight hard for the fragile happiness they found when neither man was looking where they were going.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Life in the Fast Lane

Dean Winchester was pissed. He flung himself into his car, a glossy black Chevy Impala, slamming the drivers door closed, hard, and then instantly apologizing to his baby, guilt washing over him. Whatever his problems, the car wasn't to blame and she didn't deserve his outburst. He smoothed his hands over the steering wheel and tried to get his head together. But the more he thought about the fight he'd just had, the harder it was to tamp down on his fury. Starting up the car, he smiled grimly at the growl of the engine, it seemed to meet his anger with a challenge. Shifting into gear he peeled out of the parking lot, gravel flying as he gunned it hard onto the highway.

By the time Dean reached the center of the city, his anger had gone from explosive to simmering, that was, until city driving started to reignite the flames. He'd hit the city at rush hour, and everyone else on the road seemed to have forgotten how to drive. As he brooded on his morning's drama, and fumed at his fellow drivers, he failed to see the bicycle courier, who shot out of a side street at speed. There was a clatter and a thump, and Dean hit the brakes hard.

'God damn it! What the hell was that?'

Dean threw the car into park, cut the engine and leapt out of the car, ignoring the traffic swerving around him. On the street in front of him, in a crumpled heap was a man and a bicycle. Dean cursed inwardly. How could his day get any worse? He sighed and pulled out his phone to call 911, the guy clearly needed some help, and Dean wondered what manner of shit he was going to be in over this. The guy had put a sizable dent in his car too. Dean cursed again and leaned over the man lying on the floor.

******

Castiel got a lot of grief from his colleagues for the fearless way he rode around the city. His boss reminded him that he wasn't invincible every time he came in banged up, from yet another altercation with a car, or a bus, or a pedestrian, or another cyclist. Castiel claimed the bruises were always the other guy's fault, but Gabe, his boss, knew that the guy took risks, almost as if he was trying to get himself killed. The guy was relentless, but also the fastest courier he had, so he kept his bitching to a minimum, in recognition of the dedication Castiel had to his job. Usually Castiel bounced back from whatever accident he was in with customary grace and grouchiness, but this time was definitely going to be different. The last thoughts Castiel had before he lost consciousness were that Gabe was going to kill him if he wasn't already dead, and that there were pretty green eyes staring anxiously at him. Then everything was black.

 ******

Dean was panicking. He knew enough about first aid to know not to move the guy lying on the floor, although he did check for a pulse. Finding one, and discovering that the man was breathing only relieved his tension by a fraction. He stood over the man, protecting him from further injury, until, thank god, the ambulance and the cops arrived.

'Dean Winchester, what have you done now? I'd recognize that damn car anywhere.'

A warm voice called at him from the police cruiser as it pulled up in front of the Impala, boxing the unconscious man in, and protecting him from any other errant drivers. Dean couldn't decide whether to be relieved or humiliated. The voice belonged to Sheriff Mills, his boss's long time friend. She was a good person, anyone who could be friends with Bobby Singer would have to have the patience of a saint. But that also meant that she knew all about Dean, all his past transgressions, and all his embarrassing moments. Oh well, better her than a stranger he supposed. He could hear the ambulance arriving too, thank god, he had no idea what to do but leaving the guy lying on the ground didn't seem right.

'Hey Sheriff Mills, this guy came out of nowhere, I hit him, he's breathing but I don't know how badly hurt he is.'

Sheriff Mills ran a critical eye over the scene, and crouched down to take a look at the man lying on the floor, still tangled in his bike. She carried out similar checks to the ones Dean had, he was breathing, he had a pulse, and he did not seem to be bleeding heavily although she could see scrapes on his arms, where his sleeves had been rolled up.  She eyed his leg, it seemed to have more angles than it should.  By now the emergency medical people were unloading and she handed over what she knew to them, allowing them to get to work. She snagged the man's wallet from his back pocket though, for identification.

Turning back to Dean, she gave the man the same critical look. Dean was tall, easily six feet, and broad, partly from good genes, and partly from the daily workout he got as a mechanic at Singer's Auto and Scrap. He had short, messy hair, on a sunny day it was blond, on a dull day like today, it showed itself as a mousy brown color. Green eyes, wide lips and freckles, he was certainly a good looking man, and he knew it. Most of the ladies in town would willingly testify to the charming power of a Dean Winchester smile. Now though he was pale and scared, his hands shaking.  The Sheriff opened the drivers door of the Impala and gestured for Dean to sit down, hoping the residual warmth of the car would help calm him down.

'Why don't you tell me exactly what happened Dean?'

'I was driving, and the guy came out of nowhere, I think he must have come from that side street. He hit me, or I hit him, I guess it's my fault isn't it? Anyway, there was a bang, and I stopped, and when I saw him on the floor I called 911, and here we are. I checked he was breathing and that he still had a pulse, but I didn't move him. I know that much.'

'OK, I'm going to need some details from you. Where were you coming from?'

Dean looked down, sheepishly.

'I just left my Dad's place. He was drunk again. We got into a fight and I guess I was distracted. Is he going to be OK do you think?'

Dean looked out of the window where the Emergency Medical Technicians were carefully loading the cyclist onto a stretcher, strapped onto a body board they'd used to immobilize him.  He seemed to still be unconscious.

'I'd say at the least he's going to be pretty sore, and I think he might have a broken leg, but it's hard to say. He was knocked out, so theres a risk of head injury. Thank god he was wearing a helmet. I have a few more questions Dean. Do you want to do this here, or down at the station?'

'Crap.  Here's good, I guess, I'd like to get it over with, if we can. I should go to the hospital, see if he's OK.'

'OK, but remember to give his family some space, they might not be too thrilled to see you.'

Dean looked miserably at his hands. They'd stopped shaking at least but he had to resist the urge to bite his fingernails, it was a bad habit from childhood, and he only did it when he was scared or upset. Now certainly qualified.

'Where were you going to Dean?'

'Home, I live about six blocks from here, on Emerson.'

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'Probably 25, 30 maybe. The traffic was heavy, so, you know how it is around here.'

The Sheriff nodded, and looked around, Dean's assessment of his speed was probably pretty accurate for the conditions.

'Now, look Dean, I have to ask this. Have you been drinking, or doing anything that might have impaired your judgment?'

'Other than fighting with my dad? No. You know I wouldn't do that Sheriff.'

She looked him over again. He looked sober, and was calmer now. She nodded.

'OK Dean, here's what's going to happen. I'm going to take some witness statements, if I can find any. I'll also need to talk to the guy you hit, when he wakes up, uh, Castiel Novak, apparently.' She was looking through his wallet now, for a next of kin or other information about the man.

'If you want to go to the hospital, then fine, you can do that, but if you piss off the family, I'll have to come and get you, stick you in a cell, OK?'

'Yeah, Sheriff, I got you.'

'OK. We're going to take the bike as evidence, and we'll need to take your car too. If you'd killed him, we'd lock you up too, no question, but since the guy was still breathing, and since you called it in and confessed, and since I know you, and I know your boss, I'm going to take you at your word, until I can speak to this Novak and get his side of the story too. Stay put until the forensics guys are done, and then you can go, but don't leave town, understood? I'm off to the hospital.'

'You're going to impound my baby? Come on Jody, don't do this to me, to her?'

'Dean, it's Sheriff Mills out here. And like I said, we could be locking you up too. I can't really charge you with anything yet, it depends what the other guy says, but you could be looking at serious charges here.'

Dean swallowed and nodded grimly. Apparently his day could get worse.

He signed the paperwork confirming that the Impala was to be impounded, and handed over the keys to the forensics guy, who looked altogether too pleased to be driving his baby. He grabbed his gear out of the trunk, and as the car pulled away from the spot where he'd hit the cyclist, where she'd been sitting for two hours or more, he felt a lump growing in his throat. He made a mental promise to get her back and then hailed a cab to the hospital.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter titles are song titles - all copyright remains with the original copyright holders.
> 
> Life in the Fast Lane - The Eagles


	2. Hospital

On his arrival at the county hospital, Dean located the ward where they were caring for the mystery cyclist, but was stumped when the nurse on duty asked if he was family. He shook his head slowly, and the nurse looked at him critically.

'We don't usually let people in unless they're family, at least until the patient wakes up, and can decide for themselves.'

'He's still out?' 

The nurse nodded grimly, offering no further information. Dean looked at her for a minute, waiting for her to say something more, something reassuring at least, and when she didn't, he asked if he could wait all the same. He explained that he'd like to speak to the family when they arrived, make his apologies, and offer his services in any way he could. The nurse pointed him to a bank of uncomfortable looking plastic seats, and Dean settled himself in, hopeful that the man's family would arrive soon.

After three hours the only person to come by was Sheriff Mills, who looked concerned.

'You're still here?' Dean just shrugged as he unfolded himself from the small seat he'd been slumped in.

'Well I've done some digging on your guy, and I found the company he works for. I spoke to his boss, and he confirmed that the guy is a courier. When I asked for next of kin though, the guy just laughed, although I don't see what was funny. Anyway apparently you managed to hit a man with absolutely no family, and no emergency contacts whatsoever. I'm at a bit of a loss to be honest. I suppose we'll just have to see what he has to say for himself. Is he awake?'

'Not according to Nurse Ratched over there. No emergency contact at all? Would you maybe let the nurses know? They won't let me in to see him until the family OK's it, or til he wakes up. I just want to stick my head in, you know, see how bad it is.'

The sheriff raised an eyebrow at Dean's determination to torture himself over this accident, but headed over to the nurse's station all the same. She told the nurse on duty what she knew, and to not expect any family. The nurse sighed, clucking over what a shame it was that the poor man had no one looking out for him. She looked across at Dean, and waved him over.

'Look young man, if what the sheriff tells me is true then this boy isn't going to get a lot of visitors while he's here. I'll let you in to see him, on one condition. Patients with injuries like his, they recover faster if they have some support in their lives. So, here's the deal; since you knocked him off that damn death trap of a bicycle in the first place, I'll let you in if you help him get better, at least until he's fit enough to say otherwise. You good with that?'

Dean considered his options, and then thought back to the fight he'd had with his father this morning. It had all been about taking responsibility. Dean was pissed that his dad was drunk at three in the afternoon again, and his dad was pissed that he'd broken up with Lisa just when things were getting serious, instead of settling down and getting on with his life. The fact that he was still doing the same job he'd done in high school, for the same boss, had made it's way into the fight too, and his dad hadn't given a damn about all the good reasons Dean had for the decisions he'd made. His dad accused him of not taking responsibility for his life, and now, here was a whole heap of responsibility, which he could maybe avoid by leaving the hospital and never coming back. But it was inevitable that it would catch up with him if he was charged. Crap. That reminded him, he needed to call his brother. Awesome. The nurse and the sheriff looked at him expectantly, as he battled mentally over doing the right thing, versus doing the easy thing.  Eventually his conscience won out.

'Deal,' he huffed, wondering what he'd just let himself in for.

The nurse ushered Dean into a quiet room, where the cyclist lay in a hospital bed, with what seemed like a dozen machines monitoring him. Dean blanched, the guy looked to be in serious trouble.

'Don't worry kid, it looks worse than it is. Most of this is just to cover our backs.'

'So how is he?'

'Well, he has a broken leg, some busted ribs, plenty of bruises and scrapes. But what we're most concerned about is that he's still out. It could be brain injury, or just shock. The CT scan didn't show anything alarming so we're just waiting to see if he comes out of it. The fact that he was wearing a helmet probably saved his life.'

'So what can I do if he's unconscious? It's not like I can feed him or drag him to physical therapy.'

'We find that sometimes just talking to patients helps, gives them something to focus on, to wake up to. So talk to him, read to him, just give him something to listen to, to latch on to enough to wake up. Think you can manage that?'

'Well, I guess so, yeah.'

'Alright then. Visiting hours are until eight tonight, and ten til eight tomorrow. I'm assuming we'll see you tomorrow?'

'I made a deal didn't I? I'll be here. I'll have to come around work on week days but I'll make it work.'

'Good, I'll make a note for the morning shift to let you in.  You can go ahead and make yourself comfortable.'

The nurse indicated to a chair, and left him to it. Suddenly, Dean was alone with a man he'd never met before, a man he'd seriously injured. Whether he'd meant to do it or not, what the hell do you say to someone in that situation? Dean figured he'd start with an introduction and an apology, and maybe go from there.  When the nurse looked in an hour later, Dean had pulled the chair up close to the bed, and was reading from a battered paperback, boots off, feet on the bed. The nurse recognized the book as Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut, and she smiled softly. The poor man in the bed certainly needed someone to care for him, but she had a feeling that the frustrated young man in the chair next to him could probably benefit from having someone worth caring for too.

* * * * *

Castiel was dreaming. His dreams tumbled wildly, little more than images, snatches of moments and memories. He saw his sister, and he smiled, until he remembered she was gone, and the familiar pain shot through him again. He saw Gabe, he was yelling at him for some reason, but he seemed far away and his voice was muffled. He saw himself, flying on his bike, over the streets of the city. Over and over he saw the same pair of green eyes, anxiously staring at him. Who did those eyes belong to, and why were they so worried? Every now and then he heard a voice, gruff with a soft twang of an accent. The voice sounded if it were reciting something, something familiar, but Castiel couldn't quite catch what he was saying, and when he almost thought he had it, he faded into black again.

* * * * *

Dean left the hospital when the nurse kicked him out, coming out into late evening darkness, which left him disoriented after the shuttered, artificially lit hospital room.  It wasn't until he got out into the parking lot that he remembered that the Impala wasn't there. Damn it. He called for a cab, and finally completed his journey home several hours later than planned. He let himself into his small home, and dropped face down on the couch. The weight of everything that had happened suddenly felt like it was crushing him. He went over the day in his mind, wincing as he hit all the low points, his fight with his dad, hitting this Novak guy with his car, the damn car getting impounded, and now he was facing as yet undetermined charges and all that went with that, and on top of that he could look forward to who knows how long looking after this guy.  Until he went to prison maybe, he thought cynically.

Dean took a deep breath, hauled himself to a sitting position and picked up the phone to call his brother.  He was definitely going to need a lawyer. He just didn't want to hear the disappointment that would inevitably come with the offer to help.

'Heya Sammy, how's it going?'

'Hey Dean, what's up? Is Dad OK?'

Dean sighed. OK was relative really in the grand scheme of things. Sam caught the sigh and the lack of answer, and huffed down the phone.

'Dean, what's he done now?'

'Actually Sam, this time it wasn't him that fucked up, it was me. I had a fight with him, and then I ran down some suicidal courier on his bike.'

'What? Are you OK? Is he OK?'

Dean told the whole story, their Dad's drinking, the fight they had, and the reasons for it, and Sam cut in at that point.

'You can't listen to his bullshit Dean, he's a bitter old man who's life stopped the day his wife died. He's been taking it out on you ever since. If you're happy doing what you're doing, then you gotta learn to ignore him.'

'Yeah, I know, but you know what he gets like.'

Sam just sighed, they both knew John Winchester was a belligerent asshole even when he was sober. He was a nightmare when he was drunk, impossible to reason with, and he would take out his bitterness on anyone who happened to move into his line of sight.

'Anyway, so I took off, and I was on Grant, about six blocks from home and this bike courier came out of nowhere, I hit him Sammy. He's in the hospital, a bunch of broken bones, and he's been out cold since the accident. Jody Mills showed up when I called 911, so that was probably helpful. She said the Impala had to be impounded, and that they're waiting for the guy to wake up, to decide if and what they might charge me with.'

'Charge you? If he came out of nowhere, was he riding dangerously?' Sam was instantly into lawyer mode.

'I don't know, like I said I didn't even see him, practically until I hit him.'

'Alright dude, I'll talk to Sheriff Mills, and see what's what. Do you know what the doctors think about this guy's prognosis?'

'Well, actually, I talked to the nurse this afternoon, she let me in to see him. I sort of made a deal with her.'

'What kind of deal exactly?' Sam was immediately wary.

'Well the guy doesn't have any family, no one to visit him, and that made me feel even worse, cause hospitals suck, and being stuck in one on your own is a shitty situation to be in.  So anyway she said she'd let me in to see him, as long as I was willing to be useful. She wants me to stick around and support the guy with his recovery, until he has the ability to say otherwise. Which I'm pretty sure will be the second he wakes up. So I spent a couple of hours reading to him, apparently talking to him helps, and I'm going back tomorrow to try again.'

'Dean, that might actually be the smartest thing you've done all day. At least if they do charge you, you can prove that you're sorry for what you did.'

'That's not why I did it Sam, I just didn't want him to be alone, and I felt bad for putting him there.'

'That's fine Dean, I think you're doing the right thing. I'll talk to Jody and see what's happening. If you need it I'll represent you.'

'Thanks Sammy, I appreciate that. I really hope I don't need it, no offence, but yeah, thanks.'

'Any time, man you know that. So, what are we going to do about Dad?'

Dean huffed out a breath. 'One problem at a time eh Sammy? I got no clue on that one, short of locking him up and throwing away all the booze.'

'Do you think rehab would work?' Sam was optimistic.

'Who knows?  They have to want it, right? Plus we're talking big money for something like that.'

'Yeah I know man, it's just hard, you know?'

'I do, Sammy, I do. Look, I'm beat, it's been a hell of a day. I'm gonna eat and crash. Talk to you later?'

'Sure man, let me know if anything happens with hospital dude.'

'Oh, yeah, he has a name, Castiel Novak. Strange one, huh?'

'Novak? Why does that ring a bell?'

'No idea man, no bells ringing here.'

'Huh, let me think about it. Talk to you later Dean, call me if you need me.'

'Thanks Sammy, later.'

Dean had to admit he did feel better after talking to his brother. It was good to talk to someone rational, and Sam was the most rational man he knew. Plus he had an excellent legal mind, he'd graduated high in his class from Stanford, and was now prosecuting class actions against companies that dumped toxic crap into lakes or some such noble work. His brother was a good guy, and to know he had Dean's back was immensely reassuring. The fact that he hadn't chewed Dean out for his screw up also helped. Dean focused on simple tasks for the rest of his evening, dinner, clean up, shower. Nothing more complex, until just before he turned in, when he found himself standing in front of his bookshelf wondering what Castiel would like to have read to him tomorrow. He picked out a couple of books, ones he knew and loved, Catcher in the Rye, and a personal favourite, Phillip K Dick's Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Maybe if Castiel woke up, they could watch Blade Runner too, if the guy was willing to spend more than about 30 seconds with him once he found out what Dean did to him.

Dean left the books in a pile, next to the half read Vonnegut, ready to pick up in the morning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter titles are song titles. All copyright remains with the original artists and writers.
> 
> Hospital - Counting Crows


	3. Sleep When I'm Dead

The next morning, at ten sharp, Dean was back at the hospital, coffee in hand.  He'd bought it from the shop across the street, not the horrific vending machine down the hall, he'd learned the hard way yesterday that whatever was coming out of that machine was not coffee. He checked in at the nurse's desk, Nurse Ratched was not on shift until later, but they were expecting him, apparently she had, as promised, put a note on the file to have the on duty staff let him in. The cute young lady who was manning the desk this morning flirted with him gamely, until she realized that he was the guy who ran over the gorgeous guy in room four. Clearly she was struggling between flirting with the hot guy in front of her, and being mad at him for what he did. She eventually gave up and sent him in to Castiel's room, confirming that he hadn't woken yet, but that they were hopeful that he would come around soon.

Dean took up his spot beside the bed, placing his coffee on the table next to him, and tried to relax into the chair which was clearly designed to be a form of medieval torture.

'Hey Cas, it's me again, Dean, the guy who, well the guy who ran into you yesterday. You're in the hospital, and your boss told the cops that you don't have any family, so I guess that means you won't be getting any visitors. They're letting me visit you as long as I keep talking to you, apparently it's good for you. And since I feel kinda bad about hitting you like that, I figure this is the least I can do.'

No reply, other than the monitoring machines. Of course.

'Ok Cas, so I thought we'd finish with the Vonnegut this morning, and then if your lazy ass is still out, I've got some awesome sci fi for you. Ever seen Blade Runner? You're going to love this.'

Still no answer. Dean gave it a minute, looking closely, watching the rise and fall of the stranger's chest, but when he received no response, he opened his battered paperback to the place where he'd stopped yesterday, and began reading in a soft, steady voice.  Around noon, Dean had moved on to the Androids and their Electric Sheep, wondering briefly if the sci fi plot would give the sleeping patient weird dreams. He hoped not, he couldn't imagine not being able to wake up from a world designed by Phillip K Dick. As he was considering whether to switch out for the Catcher in the Rye, a sandy haired man stuck his head around the door of the room.

'Hi, who are you?' the short, shaggy haired man demanded, removing a lollipop from his mouth to speak.

Dean stood, and held out his hand.

'Dean Winchester, who are you?'

'Well hello Dean-o, you must be the reason my best employee is off the clock. I'm Gabe, Castiel's boss. Sort of.' Gabe ignored the outstretched hand and patted Dean on the shoulder instead.

'Crap. Yeah that's me. Sorry. It was an accident, for what it's worth. I just didn't see him.'

'Huh, yeah that sounds like our Castiel. He always rides like he's got a death wish. You were doubly unlucky, actually, he doesn't even usually work Saturdays.  We were shorthanded yesterday.  What are you doing here anyway?'

'Well when you told Sheriff Mills that he had no family, I thought someone ought to come see him. And the nurse sort of made me promise to sit and talk to him. So we've been reading, Vonnegut, and then Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep. I get the impression he doesn't like my choices though, he's doing a sound job of ignoring me.'

Gabe appraised Dean, he was hot, no doubt, and looked appropriately sorry for what he'd done, and was clearly trying to make amends. He was going to have a hell of a time when Castiel woke up though, the man wasn't sunshine and roses at the best of times.

'Well Dean-o, if you want to take a break, then I'll sit with him for a bit. It'll give me a chance to tell him all the things I think about the way he rides his bike without him scowling at me and storming off for once.'

Dean smiled faintly at the offer. Lunch would definitely be a good idea.

'Thanks uh, Gabe, was it? Can I bring you anything?'

'Are you hitting the sandwich shop down the street?'

'That was my plan, yeah.'

'Perfect. Bring me back one of their blueberry muffins?'

'Sure, you wanna coffee or anything?'

'Peppermint mocha, three sugars. Thanks hot stuff.'

Dean raised his eyebrows at the sugar overload the odd little man requested but said nothing. As he headed out of the room, he could hear Gabe talking to Castiel, congratulating him on getting run over by such a fine specimen. Dean shook his head at the absurdity of it and made his way out of the ward.

* * * * *

Castiel's dreams were getting weirder. Robots with green eyes danced through the landscape of his childhood, and he relived the worst night of his life over and over, sometimes watching with cool detachment, sometimes thrust right into the middle of it all, feeling every moment, yet unable to scream. All the while that patient, steady voice was there, sometimes close, sometimes far away, but it seemed to be relentless and it grounded Castiel. He felt like if he could only figure out what it was saying to him, he could drag himself out of this nightmare.

* * * * *

Dean was regaling Castiel with tales of Holden Caulfield's teenage angst, when there was a noise from the bed. Dean stopped reading and shot to the man's side, as the noise came again, a dry groan, followed by a gasp of pain as the man made to roll over. Stilling, Castiel blinked his eyes open slowly, and Dean was shocked to find himself staring into pools of blue as stunning and deep as a Hawaiian lagoon. All Dean could do for a second was stare, before he came to his senses, and bolted out of the room looking for a doctor.

Castiel was confused. He was at the courier's shop, and then he was in a bed, in agony. For a moment he thought he was still dreaming, when he found those green eyes looking into his, with exactly the same expression as his dream had offered. But as the man behind the eyes bolted away, calling for a doctor, his brain supplied him with the necessary information. He was in a hospital. Which meant he must have been in an accident. As he shifted and yelped when pain sliced across his chest, he thought, yes, definitely, hit by a car. He carried out a mental map of himself, starting with his toes. He was wiggling his fingers when the doctor came in.

'Well Mr Novak, that's certainly a good sign, as is the fact that you're awake, finally. You had us worried for a while there. Do you know where you are?'

Castiel tried to answer, but his mouth felt like sandpaper. Thankfully the doctor noticed and held the cup of water for him to take a sip. Once Castiel had rinsed his mouth and swallowed he ventured an educated guess.

'I'm in the hospital?'

'Correct. I'm your doctor, Doctor Moseley, how much of yesterday's incident can you remember?'

Castiel racked his brain. 'I got a delivery on Emerson, Gabe said it was urgent, so I took it, the other kid is too slow, and there was no one else in. The last thing I remember is cutting down a side street, onto Grant. Then I woke up here. How long was I out?'

'Well you were asleep for around 24 hours, give or take. But you woke up on your own and that's a good sign. We're going to run through some mental and physical tests, and I'll give you a run down of your impressive collection of injuries too, and what will happen next. Let me know if you need a break at any time, and we'll stop. OK?'

'My chest hurts, and my leg.'

Dr Moseley chuckled, 'Oh we'll get to that, don't you worry.'

* * * * *

Dean waited for an hour in the waiting room, while the doctor conducted her tests on Castiel. He supposed he should call people, Sam, Jody, Gabe. But he was procrastinating, he didn't want to make any of those calls until he'd spoken to the man he'd hurt. If the man was willing to see him.

Finally the doctor came out, and nodded to Dean. 'You can go on back in now, son.'

'Did you tell him, who I am?'

'No sugar, I left that for you to do. Be gentle now.  He's sore.  In more ways than one.'

Dean dragged his feet back to room four. He was dreading this, from what the doc said, the guy was likely furious with him, and he had every right to be. But a part of him had grown attached to the guy, as attached as you could get to someone who's only activity was sleep. He peeked his head around the door, at a now sitting Castiel, getting a clear look at his face for the first time.  Wild dark hair, long eyelashes, a firm jaw speckled with stubble, and a scowl to give a lesser man a heart attack.  Dean took a deep breath.

'Can I uh, can I come in?'

Castiel frowned at the stranger in his door way. 'If you must. Who are you?'

'Uh, well, hi. I'm Dean Winchester. There's no easy way to say this, but I'm the guy who ran you over. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am.'

Dean hovered by the door, as Castiel processed what he'd just said. Eventually Castiel looked up, and said, 'Well, you'd better come in then.'

Dean moved further into the room, and perched uncomfortably on the edge of the chair, ready to flee at a moment's notice.

'So what happened then?' Castiel's voice was growly, like he'd downed a shot of harsh whisky. Dean wondered if that was a result of the accident.

'You don't remember?' Castiel shook his head slowly. He was still cataloguing his hurts, and any movement included the risk of finding a new one.

'Well you kind of appeared from nowhere, and collided with my car.'

'Collided with your car? You mean you weren't looking and you ran into me? Like every other damn driver in this city.'

'Now hang on a second, man. You appeared from some invisible side street, and practically threw yourself at my car. I had no chance.'

'You had no chance? The doc just told me my bike is irreparable, and apparently my helmet saved my life. I have three broken ribs, and a broken leg, lacerations and concussion, probably, I'm going to have to have surgery to correct my leg, and I'm basically immobile because using crutches with broken ribs is going to be a nightmare. So please, tell me, which of us had no chance?' Castiel's voice was getting louder, and Dean considered clearing out, but he'd made the nurse a deal damn it and he was going to see it through. And anyway, now he was just mad.

'Your bike? What about the dent you put into the side of my car? And thanks to you my baby is at the impound lot, and they won't give her back!' Dean met Castiel's shouting with some of his own.

'Your child is at the impound lot because you had a traffic accident?! What the fuck kind of a parent are you? Where's this child's mother?'

Castiel pinched the bridge of his nose, squinting his eyes shut for a moment.   He wondered once again if he was still dreaming, the man was making no sense.

'No Cas, damn it. My car! My car is in the impound lot. I know you got hit on the head but come on now, what kind of person do you take me for?'

'One that runs over innocent cyclists and leaves babies in impound lots, apparently.'

'Innocent cyclist my ass, you're a menace on two wheels. Even your boss says you ride like you have a death wish!'

That shut Castiel up, for a second, and then he was spluttering with laughter, which quickly turned into groans as his ribs reminded him of what a bad idea finding anything funny was. He caught his breath and looked carefully at the man sitting next to him. Mussed fair brown hair, golden skin, sprinkled with freckles, and the green eyes from his dreams. And that voice, it was familiar somehow. The thought was there but he couldn't quite catch it. Cute as the man might be, right now he was scowling, he looked pissed, and more than a little confused.

'What the hell is so funny Cas?'

'You met Gabe?' Castiel's voice had lost the anger, and was calmer now, settling into a more conversational tone. Dean couldn't keep up with this guy and his mood swings. Maybe it was the head injury.

'Yeah, he came by earlier to check on you.'

'Huh, wonders will never cease. He bitches at me all the time for the way I ride, but he makes the most of it when he wants a job done quick. Plus he's got a huge insurance policy on me. My death wish is in his best interests.'

'Huh, well that's a funny way of looking at it.'

'He's a funny kind of guy. So, Dean, it was Dean, right? What exactly are you doing here? I'm awake, you've said sorry, was there something else?'

'Well the police will want to speak to you, they're trying to figure out what to charge me with. So you not being dead is a big plus, because maybe I won't go to prison for the rest of my life.'

'Charge you? Ouch. That sucks for you, maybe you'll look where you're going in future.' Castiel's tone was sarcastic, biting.

'That's what I get for doing my civic duty, making the streets safe from two wheeled menaces like you.'

Despite the impending doom of his situation, he found himself laughing, and when Castiel joined in, it was even funnier. What was wrong with him? He put a guy in the hospital, and he's laughing about it? He tried to adopt a more sober demeanour as Cas struggled to get himself under control for the sake of his ribs.

'So, seriously Dean what are you doing here, have you been here this whole time?' That voice in his dream, had it been Dean?

'Yeah, I kind of made a deal with Nurse Ratched, she would only let me in if I promised to help you with your recovery, make myself useful, that sort of thing. Gabe, well, he told the Sheriff that you had no family here, and so I didn't want you to be alone. I've been reading to you.'

'Did you read something about robots?'

'Sort of, I read you Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, plus Slaughterhouse Five, and I was halfway through Catcher in the Rye when you woke up.'

'I heard you.'

'You, what?'

'I heard you, reading. I was dreaming and there was this voice, and I remember thinking if I could just figure out what it was saying, then I could get out of the dream. It was you. You woke me up.'

Castiel was looking at Dean in something resembling awe.

'Well, yeah Cas, but I put you to sleep in the first place, it was the least I could do.'

'So you admit it then, it was your fault?'

'I admit nothing. You're a menace.'

Castiel grinned. He should hate this man, but there was something there that made it impossible. He didn't know if it was the green eyes that had danced through his dreams, or the strong steady voice which had acted like an anchor in his worst nightmares, Castiel felt himself drawn to Dean in a way he hadn't felt in a long time.

'So, are you going to keep your promise to the nurse?'

Dean looked up in alarm. That was the last thing he'd expected Castiel to say. 'Get out,' sure, 'stay the hell away from me,' possibly, 'I'm going to sue,' definitely. But 'stay?' Never.

'What? Are you crazy? You throw yourself under my car, so admittedly, you probably are a bit crazy, but anyway. You throw yourself under my car and then want me to stick around and help you get better? Surely you know people that would be better company than the guy who ran you down?'

'Well, as Gabe told you, I don't have any family, and I'm fairly picky about people in general.'

'You mean that your less than sunny demeanour isn't conducive to making friends? Or maybe it's your ridiculous job, it must be tough to be friends with someone who makes a living hurling themselves in front of law abiding motorists.'

'Law abiding, right. Especially the one about looking where you're going, really got that one down haven't you Dean?'

'About as well as you have it seems. At least I have the sense to use a nice big metal box to protect me, instead of riding around on a death trap. Anyway for your information, I have every intention of keeping my promise. I'm a man of my word.'

'Well that's reassuring at least, even if you are a danger to everyone who shares the road with you.'

'Very funny Cas. What do you want from me?'

'Precisely what you promised. We can start by you finishing The Catcher in the Rye, it's been years since I read that.'

'Well OK then, your wish is my command.' With that Dean picked up the book, opened it to the page he'd left off when Castiel had woken up, and continued reading in the smooth, steady voice from Castiel's dreams. Castiel sighed a happy sigh, closed his tired eyes, and relaxed into the honey of Dean's voice.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter titles are song titles. All copyright remains with the original artists and writers.
> 
> Sleep when I'm Dead - Bon Jovi


	4. Hospital Food

When Dean made it back to his apartment that night, he had an ache in his lower back from sitting in that awful chair all day. But it had been, oddly, one of the most pleasant days he could remember having in a while. Awake Castiel was much more interesting than asleep Castiel, although awake Castiel was also much more grumpy. The man took no shit though, and Dean could respect that. Dean had read the remainder of Salinger's masterpiece to him, and then they'd talked until Castiel had started to fall asleep. Before he left, Dean had promised to come by after work tomorrow, and bring the man books, toiletries, and a whole host of other things to make his stay in hospital more comfortable. Now that he was awake, the medical team were apparently planning to set the bone in his left shin, which would require anaesthetic, something the doctors were not prepared to risk until they could properly assess his head injury. It would be a few days at least until Castiel made it out of hospital, and after that he would need careful care. Dean wasn't sure what that was going to look like yet, but he'd made a commitment, and he intended to see it through.

They had come to some agreements though. Dean would visit every day after work, and bring whatever Castiel needed. He would check on Castiel's place a couple of times too. Castiel had given him a key and an address. When it came time for the man to leave hospital they would work out a new arrangement. In return, Castiel would put in a good word for Dean when he spoke to the sheriff, and hopefully, that would mean Dean got his baby back. Dean was keen to emphasize that he wasn't doing this to get out of potential charges, he would face up to his screw up like a man, but he was definitely grateful.

Dean relayed all of this to Sam over the phone, and his brother was thrilled, that was the best possible outcome they could hope for. Although with Dean's description of their conversation, Sam couldn't figure out how the two of them had become friends, especially since both of them seemed to have abrasive personalities. Sam guessed they would either rub each other up the wrong way, or click together perfectly. Seemed like they were clicking, in their own unique way. Sam had a thought that maybe some good might come of all this after all, Dean might find a new friend, and something to take his focus away from the misery their father's behaviour was causing him.

When Dean got to work on Monday morning, Bobby already knew about his weekend drama. Apparently Jody Mills had been by for dinner Sunday and caught his boss up. Dean was met with a roll of the eyes and some muttering, and a set of keys tossed at him. Bobby was generous enough to loan him an old truck they had around the yard. It was old and cranky, like it's owner, but it would work until Dean got his car back, whenever that might be. Soon, he hoped.

After a day under the hoods of what seemed like a never ending supply of injured, broken and just plain awful cars, Dean was missing his baby more than ever. When he finished up at five, he still had to go home, clean up, and run to the store on his way to the hospital, and not for the first time, he seriously questioned his wisdom, in making the promise he had. But when he closed his eyes, he could still hear the sickening sound of the impact, and could still see Castiel on the floor, and that alone was motivation enough to get moving. He had sins to atone for, and someone he'd promised to care for, and those thoughts were enough to see him through the shower, the grocery store, and the burger place around the corner from the hospital. He picked up his favourites, and doubled the order, imagining Castiel's reaction to hospital food.

When he arrived in the ward, he checked in with the nurses, Nurse Ratched was back, and helpfully reminded Dean that her name was actually Nurse Fuller. She seemed pleased to see him back though, and tactfully ignored the bag of greasy food he was carrying, as he headed for room four, the route now familiar to him. Dean peeked around Castiel's door, in case the man was asleep, and when he found the patient awake, he slipped in and closed the door behind him. Castiel looked at him with slightly raised eyebrows, as if to ask what Dean was up to. Dean grinned and waved the brown paper bag, grease spots and all, and Castiel just groaned.

'Oh my god Dean, did you bring food?'

'I sure did, I didn't get any dinner today yet, so I figured I'd sit here and eat these fine burgers while you enjoy your hospital approved jello.'

'Are you kidding me? You're going to sit there and eat burgers, right under my nose while I get stuck with this, this, well I'm not sure you can even call it food. Not in the technical sense of the word. Haven't you hurt me enough already, you have to torture me too?'

'Wow sensitive much? Course I brought you a burger, man, what kind of a person do you think I am?'

'The kind that tortures poor innocent accident victims with burgers apparently.'

'Well fret no more, here.'

Dean laid out the burger, fries, and variety of condiments he'd picked up, and even placed a soda in front of Castiel, with a dramatic sweep of his hand. He collected up the hospital's poor approximation of a dinner, and dumped it on a side table. Cas was right, even Dean wouldn't eat that and he wasn't exactly fussy about his food.

Castiel took a bite of the burger, and it was glorious. Juicy and hot and delicious, with just the right amount of cheese and toppings. A moan escaped his lips before he could stop it.

'You like that huh Cas? Need some time alone with your food?'

'Asshole.' Castiel muttered, between bites. He put his burger away as if someone was going to steal it from him any second.

'Wow, man, have they not fed you anything in here?'

'They keep trying, but it's not exactly gourmet cooking.'

'You eat a lot of gourmet food on a bike courier's wage huh?'

Castiel just scowled at him, and then suddenly, remembering his manners, in a sing song voice said, 'Thank you Dean for bringing me dinner.'

'Asshole yourself.'

They finished their dinners in companionable silence, if Dean was honest, it was only politeness that had kept him from wolfing down his own burger. He was ravenous. He looked over again at the hospital food, and decided to add dinner to his nightly list of things to bring his patient. Castiel was done long before Dean and looking at him impatiently, he'd been bored out of his wits when he hadn't been poked or prodded, and he knew Dean had promised to bring him things. Hell, the company alone was a welcome relief, but he was keen to see what Dean had managed to get for him, to stop him from going insane over the next few days.

Dean, however could see the man twitching and so slowed down his eating, taking his time over the burger, dipping every fry in ketchup, watching the dark haired man get slowly more and more agitated. Eventually though he ran out of food to torture the man with, and, clearing away the remnants of their dinners, he tossed the rubbish in the trash, and pulled the duffel bag out from under his chair, placing it on his lap but not opening it.

'So whatcha been up to today Cas, running laps of the hospital? Chatting up the nurses?'

Castiel gritted his teeth, he wasn't going to let this ridiculous man get the better of him.

'Yes Dean, I practised for the marathon. What do you think? I lay in bed all day, getting mauled by doctors, bugged by nurses and fed by imbeciles. The nurses aren't even my type, so no flirting going on.'

'Not your type? Come on man, not even the cute little blond one that was here yesterday when I arrived?'

Through clenched jaw, Castiel ground out, 'Not my type. I doubt they have any nurses here that are my type.'

'Really, how can you be so sure?'

'Well, gender normative bull shit aside, I tend to find the doctors more my type than the nurses if you get my drift, Doctor Moseley being the exception, of course.'

Dean was silent for a moment.

'What's the matter? Stuck on gender normative? Need a dictionary?'

Castiel was suddenly tense, it might be the twenty first century, but some people still held prejudices. Dean grinned though.

'Naw man, I was just thinking that this explains the accident. You were too busy checking me out to look where you were going, so you crashed into my car.' Dean preened a little for comic effect.

'Right, checking you out, as if I could see you at all past that huge ego you seem to have.'

'Ha, admit it man, you crashed into me on purpose. You couldn't resist me. Literally.'

'Yeah Dean, sure, I gave myself cracked ribs, a broken leg and concussion, just to make an impression on you. That's what we'll tell the grandkids. Also Grandpa Winchester's always been a little nuts kids, don't worry about him.'

'Hey, who you calling Grandpa?'

'Well if the shoe fits...'

'What? I'm thirty frigging two. I'm not old. Just cos you're about twelve.'

'I'm twenty nine, assbutt.'

'Assbutt? What? We gotta teach you some better insults.' They were both laughing again, until Castiel's laughter became more of a wheezing, sobbing noise, and Dean winced.

'Ah, sorry man, I'm not meant to make you laugh. Can I get you anything?'

'No, I'm ok, I just forgot for a moment. First time all day though, so thanks.' Castiel's voice was soft for a moment, although it had lost none of the gritty quality it had had yesterday when he woke up. Maybe that's just his normal voice, Dean mused, and suddenly had a flash of what that might sound like in his ear, in bed together. Where the hell had that come from?

Castiel was saying something though, and Dean had no clue what that was.

'Earth to Dean, where were you?'

'Thinking about how to do a better job of it next time you throw yourself in front of my car. What were you saying?'

Castiel's patience had finally run out. It was a rare man that got the upper hand with him, and he blamed the pain and the meds. And maybe the fact that Dean had softened him up with a burger, but he finally caved.

'What's in the damn bag Winchester?'

'Oh, what, oh you mean this bag?' Dean play acted wide eyed confusion for a moment.

'So help me god, Dean, don't make me get out of bed and look for myself.'

'Alright grumpy, calm down, let me show you what I brought you.'

He began pulling things from the duffel, starting with toiletries. A new toothbrush, tooth paste, deodorant, and a small bottle of hair and body shower gel. He waved the last one at the man lying in the bed.

'I wasn't sure if you'd be able to shower or not, but given that it's been three days, and frankly man, you're starting to hum a bit, I figured I'd bring it.  Since apparently you're not enjoying the bed baths and all.'

A pack of underwear, and socks had followed, along with a couple of his own t shirts, and a pair of old sweat pants. He would swing by Castiel's place tomorrow and bring some of his own clothes, but Castiel was pretty much done with the hospital gown, and Dean could sympathize with that. He gestured at the sweats.

'They're really old, and they'll probably be big on you, but if they need to cut the leg to get them on, once they get your cast on, that's cool. They're yours, I don't need them. No hacking up my t shirts though, they're just loaners. They're some of my favourites.'

Castiel unfolded the t shirts, which were soft through years of washing and wearing, amazed at how thoughtful Dean had been. The surgery on his leg was scheduled for the following morning, depending on a final exam on his head injuries. He would be in a cast for at least six weeks after that, maybe longer, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't nervous about that. Dean's thoughtfulness helped though, at least he would have something other than a gown to wear.

He looked down at the t shirts in his hands. Both were rock band t shirts, one, Metallica, was black with a coiled snake emblem picked out in grey, and the other had a picture of a tiger on it, which Castiel frowned at.

'Come on Cas, eye of the tiger? Everyone knows that song.'

Castiel just shrugged and looked curiously at the duffel bag again. Dean shook his head, appalled at the man's lack of musical knowledge. He pulled more items from the bag. Three novels were stacked onto Castiel's bedside table, and Castiel's eyes lit up. Salvation from boredom. Dean still wasn't sure what Castiel liked to read, so he'd tried to be varied. There was Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451, Steven King's The Shining, and the first in the Harry Potter series, all picked from his own bookshelves.

Castiel was gazing at the little pile of books, almost in wonder, when he realized Dean was still digging. Finally he pulled out a small pink object, with cables tangled around it, and what appeared to be a plastic brick.

'This is my iPod. I'm loaning this to you, on the condition that you don't screw with any of my playlists or anything, understand?'

'Pink?'

'Shush you, you want music or not?'

Castiel nodded, wondering for a moment what insights he would gain into the man by listening to his music.

'And this is my old phone. Yours got squashed, when you hurled yourself at my car riding that ridiculous machine, but Jody gave Bobby the sim card, and I stuck it in here for now, until we can work out how we replace your old one properly. Now look, I've added my number, but that doesn't mean you can go calling me all the time, demanding I do stuff for you. I'm a busy man. Understand?'

'Right, so busy you have time to spend every night at a hospital with a man you barely know. Very busy indeed.'

'Hey, no sass from you, not when I've been hospital Santa and brought you all these nice things.'

Dean tucked the clothes and toiletries carefully back into the bag, settling it into the locker next to Castiel's bed. He left the books, the phone and the ipod out, and then got up, making his way around the bed, looking for something.

'What are you doing now Winchester?'

'I'm finding a place to plug in these chargers, so you can reach them, dumbass, how far do you think you'll get with that phone, without a charger? About as far as you're going to get on that leg, I guess.'

Castiel conceded that he did have a point there, and was about to say so, when Dean leaned over him, reaching across his shoulder, to plug in the two chargers. Castiel watched silently as he trailed the cables carefully onto the nightstand, and plucking the phone from Castiel's fingers, plugged it in to make sure everything worked OK. Only when the charging icon flashed up did he set the phone down and move back to his position in the chair, which was still where he'd left it the day before, close enough to the bed to rest his feet on it. In the brief seconds when Dean had hovered over him, Castiel had felt the heat from the man's body, and his usual sarcasm was lost as his heart sped up slightly. Dean smelled like sweat and engines and sunlight, a contradiction which seemed to fit the man, and which had a mildly dizzying effect on Castiel. Dean was now watching Castiel closely from his position in the chair of torture.

'So, sunshine, what's on the books for tomorrow?'

'Well, if the doctors don't think you've addled my brain too much with that infernal car of yours, they're going to put me under, and set my leg. They xrayed it today, and it's the tibia, but they think it will reset without too much trouble. Then they're going to stick a cast on me and make me miserable for the next god knows how many weeks. And to top off the joy, there will be more of that stuff they claim is food.'

'Wow Cas, you make it sound like so much fun, wish I could do it too.'

Castiel scowled at Dean. He was playing it up a little, but he was worried. Six weeks or more with a cast on was going to be hard work. He knew Gabe would hold his job open, and well, for one reason and another, money wasn't an issue. But getting around on a cast was going to be a nightmare, plus what the hell was he going to do with himself while he couldn't work? He looked at the green eyed man sitting by his bed though, and thought that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be so awful, if Dean kept his promise.

When Nurse Ratched came by half an hour after visiting time had finished, she found Dean and Castiel arguing in a relatively good natured way about Dean's musical collection. She scolded Dean and turfed him out. He promised to return tomorrow, he had a list of instructions from Cas about what to get from, and do at his place when he swung by there tomorrow. He also left Castiel with an instruction, to text Dean after his surgery, to let him know it had gone OK. Castiel had promised, recognizing the sincerity in Dean's eyes when he made the request. For all the bluster, Dean was concerned for him, and that eased Castiel's own worry. To have someone, other than his boss, care for him, hadn't happened in a long time, as much because of his own resistance to relationships as anything else, but Castiel now found that he liked the feeling. He wondered if it was the man or the circumstances, and as he fell asleep, in an old Metallica t shirt which smelled of Dean, and brand new underwear, perfectly sized for him, he found it difficult to blame his feelings entirely on the circumstances.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter titles are song titles. All copyright remains with the original artists and writers.
> 
> Hospital Food - The Eels


	5. I Want To Break Free

Dean's phone buzzed while he was under the hood of an old Corolla. Easing his way out of the engine compartment, since he had what felt like a permanent lump on the back of his head from hitting it on hoods, he wiped his hands and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He didn't recognize the number but opened the message nonetheless.

_'They cut off the wrong leg. Now I'll never get the lead in Swan Lake.'_

Funny. Cas was a funny guy. He thumbed a message back, _'Is that your dumbass way of telling me your surgery went OK?'_

_'The doctor claims it was successful.'_

_'You don't believe her?'_

_'We'll see when the cast comes off, there could be anything under this damn thing.'_

_'Well I'm happy to see they didn't give you a personality transplant while you were under, sunshine'_

He could practically hear Castiel scowling. He chuckled to himself as he saved Castiel's number in his phone, and then went back to work. He'd asked Bobby if he could take off early tonight to swing by Castiel's place before the hospital. Bobby was fine with it as long as he cleared his bookings for the day, so Dean was cracking on. Eventually he sent the last car out of the shop at a little after four, and stuck his head around the office door to let Bobby know he was clearing out.

'Damn boy, why don't you work this quick every day? What's put a bug up your ass?'

'I told you old man, I got stuff to do tonight.' Just then a thought occurred to Dean. 'Hey, Bobby, how much vacation have I got due?'

Bobby frowned, and dragged a battered looking diary across his desk, shuffling other papers and bits of engine to the side to make way for it. Turning to the back page he consulted his rudimentary vacation record system, basically a list of names and tally marks.

'Son, it says here you got seventeen days owing to you. When exactly did you last take a day off?'

'Uh, Christmas, I guess.'

'That doesn't even count. Everyone needs a vacation occasionally. You actually thinking about taking some time?'

'Maybe, maybe, not sure yet, I'll let you know. Later man.'

With that Dean was out of the door, and into his loaner truck, coaxing it to life.

* * * * * *

He pulled up outside Castiel's house a few minutes later, and instantly felt inferior. A stunning Victorian era building, painted in a muted pastel green, it made Dean's own little home look very small. How did a bicycle courier with a death wish afford a place like this? Did he win the lottery, maybe? Or perhaps it was rent controlled, although that seemed unlikely. Dean shook his head in wonder and headed up the steps to the porch, letting himself in carefully. Inside the wide entrance hallway offered him warm polished wood, a wide open staircase and high ceilings. Dean loved his little home, mostly because it was his, well his and the bank's, but he could appreciate the beauty in this place. Huge windows let in the late afternoon light, and made the rooms look warm and inviting. Dean suppressed the urge to go poking around, and instead pulled out the list Castiel had given him.

First things first, water the plants. The outside gardens were managed by automatic sprinklers apparently, but the inside ones needed caring for. In the spacious kitchen Dean found a small watering can sitting on the windowsill, and he used it to walk around the ground floor of the house, watering anything that looked green and leafy. As well as herbs in his kitchen, Castiel had potted plants scattered all around the house, adding to the inviting atmosphere.

Next job, collect the mail, right, that was easy. Dean extracted a few letters that looked like bills, and a magazine for cycling enthusiasts, as well as the usual grocery store and takeaway fliers. He tucked everything that wasn't junk into his bag to take to the hospital. Next up, clothing. Dean headed upstairs, wondering how Castiel was going to manage this place when he got out of the hospital. He'd need help, for sure. In what appeared to be the master bedroom, Dean paused for a moment. The room was dominated by a huge bed with a polished wood frame, and clean, simple, grey and black covers. The wide bay window looked out over the rooftops of the houses in the lower streets, and since the day was clear, Dean could see all the way to the bay. It was clear why this room was the main bedroom. Dean thought he might never get bored of a view like that, and noted that the bed was angled such that you could sit against the headboard and gaze out of the window if you wanted to. Dean sat on the windowsill in the warm sunlight, and stared at the bed for a moment, drifting into a daydream about sleeping in it, next to his self destructive cyclist. Where had that thought come from? His brain seemed to throw these pictures at him every now and then, and it needed to stop, like right now. He shook his head to clear the image from his ridiculous mind, and got to work, finding the items Castiel had requested.

The final thing on the list was Castiel's laptop, which Dean located on an elegant desk in a small office off the main bedroom. He looked around the room a little as he unplugged the shiny Mac Book, and tucked it into a small laptop bag that was sitting on the floor, along with it's charger. Unlike the rest of the house, the office was cluttered, with paper and books everywhere. The desk though, was neat and tidy, with only the laptop and a notebook. Pinned to the board in direct eye line was a black and white picture of a family with two young children, all smiles. Could this be the man's family? Dean squinted at the picture and supposed that the little boy could be his cyclist. He wondered what might have happened to them, for them all not to be here now. Dean was familiar with the feelings losing a parent evoked, he couldn't imagine losing all of his family at once, but couldn't think of another explanation for why they were all absent from Castiel's life. The man was certainly a mystery, the missing family, the huge, expensive, home, the death wish approach to his job, the acerbic sense of humour. Dean wondered whether all those things somehow fit together. He thought about bringing the picture, but reasoned that Castiel would have asked for it if he'd wanted it, given how specific his list was.

Dean gathered up everything he'd collected, went around the house to check everything was locked and secure, and made his way back to the truck to head to the hospital, picking up chinese food for himself and his patient on the way.

* * * * *

When Dean stuck his head around the door, Castiel lit up. He couldn't have kept his customary scowl on his face if he'd tried. The books and the music were wonderful, but what Castiel really craved was company, and here it was, bearing a load of his stuff and a bag full of chow mein. Over noodles and kung pow chicken, Castiel regaled Dean with everything he could remember about his surgery, which was unsurprisingly, very little. He gave Dean a peek at the bulky plaster cast which now encased his leg to the knee. He pointed out the crutches leaning against the wall, which the doctor had supplied, while also warning the patient to avoid using unless absolutely necessary, to give his ribs the chance to heal. The surgery, the anaesthetic and the general disruption of being moved around and poked and prodded had been hard on Castiel, and Dean could see he looked a little beaten down by it, although his tone was positive. He was especially thrilled to get his laptop back, actually hugging it gently to his chest with joy. Dean was beginning to suspect they'd got the man on some stronger drugs, he seemed pretty happy for a man with the kind of pain he must surely have. Although he had to admit he looked pretty cute, dark messy bed hair, big blue eyes wide with happiness, and the stubble on his chin was starting to look more like beard than designer scruff. He was drowning in Dean's eye of the tiger t shirt, but in a way it worked on him. Dean had never seen the man standing, but what he could see told him that Castiel was lean, strong and fit.

'So, what happened, sunshine, did they up your meds or something? You seem surprisingly chipper.'

'You would be too, if your release from this hell hole was imminent. Apparently, as long as everything is OK with my head and my leg looks good, then I can leave the day after tomorrow.'

'Well that's pretty awesome. Have you thought about what you're going to do? I mean, I was at your place, how are you going to manage the stairs and all that?'

Castiel's face fell for a moment, in the excitement of the thought of getting out of here, he'd put off thinking through the finer details. Like how on earth he would get to his bedroom, or his bathroom.

'Huh, like I thought, no planning. Well dumbass, as it happens, I have been thinking about it. If, and I know this is a big ask for you, but if you can play nice, and not be an asshole, I was thinking you could come and stay with me for a few days, at least until your ribs heal up enough for you to get around on those crutches without killing yourself.'

'If I can play nice? Is this your move, Winchester? You mow down innocent couriers with your monster car, and then when they're incapacitated, drag them back to your dungeon?'

'Sorry to disappoint, but there's no dungeon. Not that you could get down the steps, huh? The reason I figured my place would be good, was because it's all on one level. I have a spare room too, which is also not remotely dungeon like, sorry.'

Castiel looked at Dean for a moment, weighing his options. He could maybe try and hire someone to come into his place and care for him, helping him up the stairs to use the bathroom, and so on. The thought wasn't appealing. At least at Dean's place he could be relatively independent, although there were definitely things he was going to need help with.

'Dean, if I do this, it will mean I'll need your help to do some things, showering and dressing, at first anyway. Are you willing to help me with that?'

'Sure, I bought a brand new mop, I figure I can stand on the other side of the bathroom with my eyes shut and scrub you down with it.'

'So thoughtful of you.'

'I aim to please Cas. I'm not an idiot you know. I did Google managing with a broken leg, before I considered opening my home to you and your glorious personality. We can stick a garden chair in the shower, and get you some waterproof covers for your cast, that will hopefully make it easier for you. But I'll be there if you need me, I've got some time owed, so I'll take a few days off, get you settled and all that.'

Castiel barely knew this man, but the offer was tempting. Dean was clearly smart and thoughtful, he'd looked into what was needed before he offered, to be sure he was able to see through the offer he was making. He was generous and kind, willing to open his home to a practical stranger. And they seemed to get along well, for the time they'd spent together. Maybe this would work out, Castiel was almost convinced, when Dean said something that settled his mind completely.

'Look you don't have to come and stay with me, and I can understand if you'd rather go home. But I don't want a six am phone call, with you having fallen down those stairs. And besides, I looked around your kitchen, you clearly don't cook. You're in no state to shop. I can feed you, and keep an eye on you.'

'Feed me? You can cook?'

'Why so surprised? I'm not a complete imbecile.'

'OK'

'OK what? OK Dean's not an imbecile?'

'No, OK, I'll come home with you, on one condition, you let me pay something for the bills and the food, while I'm there.'

Dean narrowed his eyes. 'You're not going to be working for another six weeks, or more, I can't take your money.'

'Dean, it's fine, let me at least pay for some food.'

Dean did an excellent impression of Castiel's scowl. 'We can figure that out later alright? So you're sure? You're going to come home with me, on Thursday afternoon?'

'What if you turn out to be an axe murderer?'

'Look Cas, I promise I'm not an axe murderer, and if I turn out to be one, you can sue me.'

'That's exactly what an axe murderer would say.'

Dean rolled his eyes, the man was absurd.

'For the love of god. Thursday afternoon right? I need to know, because I gotta do a few things, move some furniture around, hide the bodies, obtain a car that you can actually get into, since Bobby's truck is about eight feet tall, and my baby's still at the pound, thanks to you.'

'Alright, yes, Thursday afternoon, agreed,' Castiel huffed, and then in a smaller voice said, 'Thank you Dean, I appreciate the offer, and the help.'

'Yeah well, let's see what you say after a few days of living with me, might turn out you're the axe murderer. Hey, at least I'll be able to run away from you.'

'I have far better ways of murdering you Dean, an axe would be very messy.'

'OK that's it, no more Stephen King for you. Where did you get up to with the books anyway?'

They settled into a debate about the Shining and the relative worth of the book versus the movie, until Dean was once again thrown out by the nurse.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I Want To Break Free - Queen


	6. Let's Spend The Night Together

On Wednesday Dean let Bobby know that he needed some time off. Bobby granted him seven days vacation time, made a pointed reminder that he should take more time off anyway, and helped Dean rearrange his schedule since it was short notice. He didn't ask what Dean was planning to do with his time off, and Dean didn't volunteer any information. On his lunch break he called up his brother and asked him for a favour or two. Then he called Sheriff Mills and updated her on Castiel's condition, and what his plans were. She had apparently been intending to call him today anyway, and with good news.

'So Dean, it looks like you're a very lucky young man. We looked at the traffic cameras on Grant, and we have some footage of the crash. It makes it pretty clear that the whole thing was an accident, you didn't see him, he probably didn't see you either. The sun was in his line of sight, so the glare would have made it hard for him to see, and there was a truck obscuring your vision until the last second. That, combined with the statement from Mr Novak, means that we're not planning to charge you with anything.'

'Really?'

'Really, Dean, like I said, you're a lucky young man.'

'So, can I get my car back now?'

'Sure, you can come down to the impound lot any time, I've got some paperwork for you, so I'll swing by Bobby's this afternoon with it and then you can go get the car whenever.'

'Awesome, thanks Jody, you're amazing.'

'You can thank me by keeping out of trouble, Dean.'

'Yes ma'am.'

Dean hung up the phone and badgered Bobby until he agreed to take Dean to the police impound lot after work. For the rest of the day Dean bounced around the workshop, excited like a small child, until at four Bobby couldn't deal with it any more, and sent everyone else home early so that he could close up shop and get the damn trip over with.

Dean's reunion with the Impala was emotional. He apologized several times, and promised baby that he'd hunt down and kill anyone who hurt her. Bobby just rolled his eyes, and checked out the Castiel shaped dent in the front. He figured it would come out easy enough, he couldn't see what Dean was making such a fuss about. Once Dean signed the paperwork and started her up, Bobby left him to it, going home to make the most of his own early finish.

Dean headed straight to the hospital, and spent the evening talking about the Impala and planning what the next week or so would look like with Castiel. He promised to come by at 2pm on Thursday, to pick up Castiel and take him home, and he could tell that the younger man was excited to leave, even through his generally irritable nature. Dean found himself looking forward to getting Castiel out of the hospital.

* * * * *

At noon on Thursday Sam showed up at Dean's place, all long legs and long brown hair. Dean threw open the front door, and squinted up at his little brother.

'Damn, Sammy, time for a haircut much?'

Sam rolled his eyes and, shaking his shaggy head, stepped inside. The first thing he noticed was that Dean had improvised a small ramp to cover his small door step. Inside the place was spotless, Sam had never seen it so clean.

'So Dean, what do you want me to do? This place looks immaculate.'

'Well Sammy, I was hoping we could put your humongous size to some use, we need to move some furniture around, I don't want there to be anything that Cas can fall over, the last thing he needs is another injury.'

'Well, I suppose that makes sense, lets get to it.'

Together they shifted the couch, and then the bed and chest of drawers in the spare room. Dean pulled out the vacuum cleaner and cleaned up the dust marks exposing the old positions of the furniture. They placed a small side table in the spare room to be used as a bedside table, and Dean stuck the lamp from his office desk on it too. Finally he threw open the windows in there to make sure the room was aired.

As Sam pulled a soda from Dean's fridge, Dean looked around, trying to spot anything that would dare to have moved itself out of place. Once he was happy, he grabbed a soda too, and leaned against the kitchen counter next to his overly tall brother.

'Thanks for the help man, I appreciate it.'

'No problem, dude, I'm kind of looking forward to meeting the guy who survived a full speed impact with you.'

'Hey, he hit me, even Jody said so.'

Sam rolled his eyes and stared down at his brother.

'Dean, Jody sent me a copy of the paperwork, it was an accident, no fault, no blame.'

'Yeah, well, the man has a death wish, either way.'

Sam just laughed. He'd grown up sharing rooms with Dean, anyone who was willing to live with him must think a little differently.

'Alright laugh it up. Come on, it's time to go get him.'

The second reason Dean had talked Sam into taking an afternoon off from lawyering people to death, was because Dean figured it would be easier to get Castiel home in Sam's nice safe Prius, plus Dean wasn't exactly sure how keen Castiel would be to get into the car that nearly killed him. When they arrived at the hospital Dean led the way to the ward where Castiel was staying. He stopped at the nurse's station, where the cute blonde nurse was on duty again.

'Hey, nurse, ah, Moore, was it?'

'Hi Dean, you can call me Jess. Are you here to pick up Castiel? He's pretty excited to be getting out of here.'

While Jess was still talking, she was no longer looking at Dean, her focus shifted to the tall dark haired man towering over his shoulder. Dean looked from Sam, to Jess and back again, and cleared his throat.

'OK then, I'll go get Cas, Sammy, can you make sure there's no paperwork or anything, and maybe get a list of any meds and care instructions?'

With a not so subtle elbow to Sam's ribs, Dean took off to room four, and as he went he could hear his brother introducing himself. Maybe there was hope for him yet. When he rounded the doorway to room four, the first thing he spotted was that Castiel was no longer in the bed. He was sitting in a wheelchair by the window, with his broken leg propped up, looking kind of small in Dean's sweat pants and Metallica t shirt. His bag was packed and ready to go, and he was reading Harry Potter.

'Hey sunshine, you ready to make your escape?'

'Hell yes. Take me home Dean.' Castiel cocked an eyebrow, and grinned wickedly.

'Well aren't you all full of the joys of spring today? Come on then, do you have everything? I left my brother to sort out your meds and discharge papers and stuff. He's a lawyer so, you know, he likes paperwork. Plus I think he has the hots for that cute nurse you turned your nose up at.'

By this point Dean was wheeling Castiel down the corridor, having shouldered his duffel, containing all of Castiel's stuff, and tucked the crutches across the back of the wheel chair.

'Damn it Dean, I didn't turn my nose up at her. Why do you have to be such a dick?'

'You must be Castiel, I see you already know Dean pretty well.' Sam was laughing, on that outburst alone he could see that Dean and Castiel were destined to get on like a riot, literally. It might be loud and violent and brutal, but it would be a whole lot of fun all the same.

'You must be Sam. Thank you for helping Dean, and me today.' Castiel had to crane his neck to look up at Sam from his seated position. He'd thought Dean had exaggerated in his description of his brother, but apparently not.

'No problem man, I just need to finish up with the lovely Jess here,' Sam aimed a winning smile at the nurse, 'and then we can get you to your new home.'

'Smooth, Sammy, real smooth.'

Sam shot a quick bitch face at Dean, before moving back to the counter, and leaning over it, grinning at Jess once more. She handed him a sheaf of papers, and a clear bag of prescription bottles, and then pulled a hot pink post-it note off the top of a pad, wrote something on it and stuck it to the front of the papers. She smiled sweetly at Sam, who smiled back. Dean watched the whole exchange with big brotherly pride, and then looked at Castiel, who was apparently barely holding in his laughter. Dean crouched by his ear.

'Are you trying to decide if it hurts your ribs more to laugh at my brother and his terrible flirting, or to hold it in?'

Castiel gasped out a chuckle, and looked at Dean, who's face was suddenly inches from his own.

'How did you guess?'

'You were going purple, not a good look on you.' Dean nodded towards his brother. 'It's like watching a baby foal trying to walk for the first time isn't it? All long legs and waiting to see if he's going to fall on his ass.'

Dean hadn't moved, their faces were still inches apart, and Castiel gazed into Dean's eyes for just a second too long, before breaking the eye contact to laugh at the amazingly accurate analogy. Finally Sam got done with his awkward flirting, and handed over the paperwork and medications to Castiel, pulling the hot pink post-it from the front, and sticking it in his pocket. Dean and Castiel looked at each other and burst out laughing, Castiel whimpering a bit with the pain, but not letting up.

'Yeah yeah, laugh it up guys. Come on Castiel, lets get you to your new accommodations.'

Dean stood, and took the handles of the chair, wheeling Castiel out to the parking lot, where they loaded him into the back of the Prius, which allowed Castiel the space to stretch his leg out along the seat. Dean dumped the bag and the crutches into the trunk, and returned the wheelchair to a hospital porter. He climbed into the passenger seat, grumbling about modern cars, and waved to Sam to drive them home.

'So Sam, you got a date with the hot nurse?'

'Shut up Dean.'

'Come on Sammy, she's cute. Where are you taking her?'

'Shut up Dean.'

'Aw, you're no fun Sam.'

Sam just glared at his annoying older brother, and sighing, turned back to the road as he drove them home, where he parked as close to Dean's front door as he could. Rather than make Castiel test out his skills with the crutches, Dean came around to the side of the car, and helped Castiel out. Pulling an arm across his shoulders, he supported Castiel, walking him into the house, and placing him gently onto the couch. He tugged forward a small footstool, and placing a cushion on it, he carefully lifted Castiel's bandaged leg and settled it onto the stool. Sam followed with the bag and the crutches, which he placed at the end of the couch, within arms reach for Castiel. He headed to the spare room with the bag, dropping it on the bed.

'Alright you two have fun, I gotta get back to work. Try not to kill each other.'

'Bye Sammy, thanks for all your help today. I appreciate it man.'

Dean saw Sam to the door, and clapped him on the shoulder in thanks. Castiel waved goodbye from the couch, calling his thanks too. Closing the door, Dean turned around and looked at the man sitting in his living room, and for a moment, he felt inexplicably nervous. Castiel looked at him and grinned that wicked grin again.

'So you got me here, when do I get to see the dungeon?'

'Very funny. Do you feel up to doing a tour? I want you to know where everything is. Until you're fit enough to go back to your place, I want you to make yourself at home. Assuming you don't have any really awful habits, you know?'

Castiel nodded. He'd practised on the crutches a little, and he figured he could make it around the house, as long as he took it carefully.

'Alright then Winchester, let's get this show on the road.'

He moved to lift his leg off the stool, but Dean was there in a second. He lifted the leg down carefully, and moved the stool out of the way. He held out his hands to give Castiel leverage to get off the sofa, holding him safe while he helped the smaller man tuck the crutches under his arms. For a moment they were arm in arm, face to face, and even after Castiel had the crutches in place Dean was loath to let go.

'You good there sunshine, gonna stay upright?' Dean's voice was soft.

Castiel nodded, and Dean eventually let go, but didn't step back. Castiel wobbled a bit and Dean held his breath, ready to catch the man if he fell. Castiel seemed to get the hang of it though, and pointed with one crutch.

'Lead the way.'

'Sure thing, and no bitching about the furniture or the décor. Or anything in fact. None of your crap.'

'Bossy much?'

Dean showed Castiel the kitchen, and the bathroom, where he'd placed a plastic garden chair, for Castiel to use in the shower. He pointed to the little office which was really a glorified closet, and the actual closet where spare bathroom supplies and towels were kept, and where Dean had stashed some plastic sheeting and tape to cover Castiel's new cast for showering. Dean opened the door to his own bedroom, which was sparse, but tidy, and they ended the tour sitting on the bed in what was now Castiel's room, to give the man a rest. Dean explained that there was a small back garden to the property, and Castiel perked up at this, the prospect of sitting in the sun with a good book or his laptop made six weeks of enforced time off seem less painful.

Castiel looked around his new bedroom. A queen sized bed sat under the window, parallel to the door. A small nightstand sat next to the bed, with a desk lamp on top. There was also a multi plug extension, Dean pointed out that it meant he could have the lamp, laptop and phone charger plugged in. He demonstrated that the chest of drawers was empty, and as Castiel emptied the duffel bag, Dean tucked his clothes away. While Castiel worked up to getting back on the crutches, Dean put Castiel's toiletries in the bathroom, popping the toothbrush he'd purchased next to his own. He came back to the bedroom, and helped Castiel back onto his crutches, leading him back into the living room, and making him comfortable on the couch again. He handed over the remote controls for the television, explained how the cable and Netflix worked, and headed into the kitchen to make them both a late sandwich. He checked the fridge for ingredients for dinner later, he was planning a light pasta dish, a simple tomato sauce, and salad. He stuck Castiel's medication schedule to the fridge, and carried the food and sodas into the living room where Castiel was channel hopping. He handed over the plate and the soda, settled next to his guest, and when Castiel settled on a nature documentary, he groaned.

'Alright that's it, get out.'

Castiel grinned at him, turned the volume up and applied himself to his sandwich.

* * * * *

Dinner had been served on the couch, it seemed to be where Castiel was most comfortable, or at least, in the least amount of pain. Castiel was suitably impressed by Dean's cooking, the pasta was simple but delicious, and a welcome break from both the hospital food and the take out Dean had brought him every night. After the meal he and Dean went through Castiel's discharge paperwork, Dean writing down the dates of all of Castiel's follow up visits on his little calendar, and Castiel explaining the functions, and frequencies of all of his medications. Dean also checked the contraindications, he didn't want to kill the guy by mistake. The anti inflammatory pills for his ribs were to be taken every four hours, with food, the antibiotics were three times a day, and there were some heavy duty painkillers, to be taken as and when they were needed, no more than four a day. Those, Castiel indicated, would knock him out so he was avoiding them if he could. The doctor had advised him to avoid alcohol for the final couple of days he had the antibiotics, and absolutely not with the painkillers. Other than that, Castiel was to take it easy, let his ribs heal, and get used to moving around on the crutches once it wasn't too painful to do so.

Dean took the take it easy part very seriously. He retrieved a soft blanket in case Castiel got cold, and announced a movie night. After some haggling they agreed on The Shining, Dean wanted to prove his points about the movie being better than the book and Castiel was ready to meet his debate challenge. Or at least he thought he was. Dean looked over 45 minutes into the movie, and Cas was out cold. Even without the painkillers, Dean guessed it had been a long day for the man, and so he left him be until the end of the movie, gently wrapping the blanket over him to keep him warm. Dean watched him sleep for a moment, the man looked peaceful, so much more so than when he was unconscious in his hospital bed.

When the credits rolled, he got up and padded into Castiel's bedroom, turning on the bedside lamp and pulling back the covers of his spare bed. He went back into the living room, and, crouching beside the arm of the couch, gently pressed a hand to Castiel's shoulder.

'Cas, come on sunshine, time for bed.'

Castiel groaned and his eyes fluttered open. For a moment he just gazed into Dean's green eyes, mesmerized. He'd been dreaming about them again, and there they were. He smiled softly.

'Dean?'

'Yes, sunshine, that's me. Come on, let's get you to bed.'

Repeating his earlier manoeuvre, he eased Castiel up from the couch, holding him by the hips to keep him steady, and to keep the weight off his broken leg. Pressed, chest to chest, they swayed as Castiel struggled to keep his balance.

'I got you, don't worry. Wrap your arm around me, I'll get you to bed, forget the crutches.'

Dean carefully man handled Castiel into the bedroom, lowering him onto the waiting bed with great care not to jar his ribs.

'You want these sweats off? How do you want to sleep?'

'Sweats off, I'll just sleep in my shorts.' Castiel's voice betrayed his sleepy state.

'OK sunshine, we're gonna do this together. I need you to lift your hips when I say so, use your hands and your good foot for leverage. Got it?

Castiel nodded. Dean's hands came to the waistband of the sweat pants, his fingers slipping underneath to grip the soft fabric.

'OK Cas, on three. One, two, three, hup.'

Castiel lifted himself up and wobbled as Dean tugged the pants down over lithe hips, trying hard not to look at Castiel's crotch area, as he left the man's underwear in place. Castiel set himself back down again and Dean freed Castiel's good leg, before carefully slipping the pants over the heavy cast. He tugged off the socks Castiel was wearing, one regular sized and one huge one, to keep his toes warm as they peeked out of his cast.

'Alright, let's get you into bed.'

Castiel wriggled himself into position, and Dean helped him lift his heavy foot. He pulled the blankets over Castiel as he settled in.

'You need anything? Water, painkillers, bedtime story?'

'No, thank you.' Castiel's voice seemed far away, the guy must be exhausted.

'Well alright then, holler if you need anything, I'll bring your crutches in, in case you need to get up in the night.'

Dean placed the crutches against the wall, in reaching distance of the bed, and bent down to turn out the light. His guest was sleeping again already. Dean thought it for the best, his body had a lot of healing to do.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's Spend The Night Together - Rolling Stones


	7. Welcome To My Nightmare

Dean awoke in the dead of night, to blood curdling screams. Someone was being murdered. Cas! Cas was in trouble! Dean bolted out of his bed and into the guest bedroom, where Castiel was a dark figure in the bed, writhing and screaming. Dean flicked on the light and reached out to touch Castiel's shoulder, to try and wake him.

'Cas. Cas! Castiel! Wake UP damn it!'

Dean yelled the man's name and Castiel sat bolt upright, sobbing with pain, gasping for air, his eyes screwed closed in agony and anguish.

'Cas? Can you hear me?' Dean was more gentle now. 

Castiel reached out blindly, still gasping. Dean took his hand, gripped it firmly, trying to anchor the shaking man.

'Dean?' The man sounded terrified, his voice cracking.

'Yeah, I'm here, look at me, come on, it's OK, you're safe with me.' Dean was crooning now, like he used to when Sammy had nightmares when they were kids.

Castiel opened his eyes, looking into pools of green, anxious, searching his face.

'It's OK, it was just a dream, you're OK.'

'I'm OK.' Castiel sounded far from it, his voice was tight with pain and his skin shone with sweat.

Dean sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out to smooth unruly hair back from Castiel's forehead.

'You want to talk about it?'

Castiel swallowed and shook his head, guilt and pain washing over his face.

'You need anything? Water, painkillers? You sat up pretty fast, did you hurt yourself?'

'It hurts, but, it's manageable. I think.' Castiel's breathing was becoming more steady now, as he calmed down. Dean's presence was incredibly reassuring.

'Cas, I, uh, were you dreaming about the accident? Did I do this to you?'

Castiel shook his head. 'I probably should have warned you, I've had an issue with nightmares for years. I can go home if this is going to be a problem?'

'Don't be ridiculous, you're going nowhere. I'm just worried about you. Is there anything I can do. Do you think you can go back to sleep?'

'I don't know. Would you...' Castiel hesitated, this man had done so much for him already, and while some of the blame for his broken body could perhaps be said to be his responsibility, his broken mind was definitely not Dean's problem. Nevertheless he seemed to sleep better when the man was near.

'Would you maybe stay for a while?'

'Sure, can you scoot over a bit, so I can sit comfortably?'

Castiel moved gingerly across the bed, his abrupt wake up had certainly re-ignited the pain in his ribs. He carefully lay down again, and felt his heart rate slowing, settling, as he felt safe and warm with this man close by. Dean leaned back against the headboard, pillow propped behind him for comfort, and perhaps sensing that Castiel needed more than just his presence, began to talk, softly.

'You know Sammy used to have nightmares when we were kids. Hard to believe it but he was so small back then, and he'd wake up screaming, fighting whatever invisible monster was in his head. I used to sit with him for hours, just talking to him, calming him down, getting him to go back to sleep. He grew out of it when he hit high school, I think his brain finally found something else worth focusing on then, and filled itself up with facts and figures and homework, but yeah, he'd have them something terrible until then.' He trailed off, looking down at the sleeping figure next to him. He stayed that way for a while, just watching the man get good, healthy, peaceful sleep, and then as quietly as he could, he slipped out of the bed, and back to his room, turning off the light, but leaving both bedroom doors open, in case Castiel had another nightmare.

The next morning, he took coffee in to the guest room, late in the morning. After the previous night's broken sleep, he wanted Castiel to sleep as long as he could. Thanks to his experiences with his brother, he knew that insomnia and nightmares often went hand in hand, and that was the last thing Cas needed as he healed. So he waited until Cas needed to be woken to take his drugs, and delivered the sleeping man a cup of coffee, and a gentle wake up.

'Go 'way.' The sound was muffled under the blankets, all Dean could see was a tuft of almost black hair.

'Come on sunshine, you gotta wake up, you have drugs to take, and I thought you might like to try showering. I brought you coffee.'

The prospect of coffee and a shower was what finally coaxed the grumpy man out from under the blankets. He sat up carefully, wincing as the pain knifed across his chest, but took the coffee and the pills gratefully.

'I'm sorry for waking you last night.'

'Don't worry about it Cas, I like to think my house guests are being murdered in the middle of the night, it make night time here that much more fun.' Dean tried to make light of the previous night's incident.

'Murdered? What was I doing?'

Dean's voice softened. 'You were screaming Cas, like someone was killing you. I thought there was someone in the house attacking you.'

'Oh.'

'Have you never done that before?'

'I don't know. I've had the nightmares before, but I don't exactly share my bed with anyone, I haven't for a long time, so I had no idea. Sorry.'

'No need to apologize. Your mind obviously has something to work through. Don't feel bad on my account. If talking about it helps, I'll listen. But I'm not going to pry.'

Castiel nodded.

'OK then, distraction time instead.'  Dean grinned at his guest. 'You ready to try my shower contraption?'

Castiel desperately wanted to be clean. But he wasn't sure how well he was going to maintain his dignity here. He'd managed to use the bathroom on his own, just about, but this, well there was a good chance it was going to involve getting naked in front of Dean, and that made him very nervous. In the end though, the desire to wash away the smell of the hospital won out. He nodded.

'Come on then, to the bathroom.'

Dean had already showered this morning, and had looked around the bathroom carefully while he did so, considering how a man with a cast would navigate in here. Fortunately his bathroom had a shower cubicle, rather than a tub, so that made things a lot easier. He'd left the garden chair in the cubicle and lowered the shower head so it would be within reach of a seated person.

He parked Castiel to sit on the closed toilet seat, and let him pull off his t shirt. Dean whistled when he saw the rainbow of bruises that danced across Castiel's ribs.

'Wow, man that looks painful. What asshole did that honey, you want me to go beat him up?' Dean exaggerated his drawl.

'Don't make me laugh Dean, it hurts.'

'Sorry, sorry, I can see it hurts. OK here's what we're going to do, in order to maintain what little dignity you still have. You're going to stand up and I'm going to wrap this towel around you. Then I'm going to reach under it, and take off your shorts, OK?'

'Right'

'Then I'm going to wrap your cast in plastic and waterproof surgical tape.'

'Yes'

'And then I'll help you into the shower and into the seat. That bit's going to be tricky because the towel has to come off before you sit, but we'll make it work. And I'm going to wait here while you shower, not because I'm a kinky son of a bitch, but because you're going to need even more help getting out and dried off, and that plastic cover will be slippery. If you hurt yourself in my shower, your doctor will kill me, and more importantly, I will laugh at you, and then have to help you up, naked.'

'Right, no gymnastics.'

'Good. I'll go and grab the plastic and stuff, if you, ah, need to you know, go, now's a good time.'

'Thanks, you're so thoughtful.'

'I know, you were lucky when you made your choice of car to kamikaze into. The guy behind me might have been a dick.'

Castiel rolled his eyes and gestured to Dean to clear out. He came back a few minutes later and they commenced the complicated process of getting Castiel wrapped and into the shower, Dean doing his best to not look at the smooth skin or the rippling muscles under his hands. They finally got Castiel seated, and Dean left the cubicle, towel in hand, eyes closed. He took over Castiel's spot on the toilet lid, and laughed at the blissed out groan Castiel made when the hot water hit him.

'Feel good sunshine?'

'You have no idea. It's been nearly a week since I had a proper shower.'

'Well take all the hot water you need, there's plenty. Just let me know when you're done.'

Castiel had never experienced a shower this good. Admittedly it was awkward at times, but it felt wonderful to be clean. His only concern was washing himself while he could hear Dean's voice, talking to him through the frosted glass. In the end though he realized that Dean had set the chair with it's back to where Dean was sitting and so he still had a little privacy. As he soaped himself up, his body was reacting to the honey of Dean's voice, whether his conscious mind agreed with it or not, and suddenly the man's conversation was a delicious torture. He cleaned himself as quickly as he could and then reached for the shower head, turning the temperature to a cooler setting, hoping that the cold would calm him down before he had to face the man.

Eventually he felt under control enough to turn off the water. Dean got up, towel in hand and opened the door enough to pass the towel to Castiel, who draped it across his lap. Dean then opened the door fully, and wrapped Castiel's arms around his neck. As he stood, Castiel went with him, and Dean used his free hands to wrap the towel firmly around Castiel's waist, trying not to stare at his ass as he did so. Incredibly carefully they moved out of the shower cubicle, and back to Castiel's bedroom, Dean snagging a robe from the back of the bathroom door as he went.

Once he'd deposited Castiel in a seated position on the bed, wrapped in the robe and the towel, he stopped for a moment, and thought that this might have been the most intimate thing he'd ever done with someone he wasn't sleeping with. He had all the leftovers of sex too, he was wet, sweaty and breathing hard. Just none of the fun stuff that came before it. He handed Cas another towel to dry his hair off with, and knelt down to unwrap the cast. It had stayed remarkably dry, but Cas now had a hairless stripe where the tape had been, which made Dean giggle, and Castiel yelp as Dean whipped the tape off.

With a firm 'no falling over', Dean headed back to his bedroom and returned with a pile of clothes, namely shorts. Loose enough to go over the cast, they would be better than the one pair of sweats Castiel currently had. He'd looked through the man's own clothes, and the only shorts he'd found were of the skin tight cycling variety, which did interesting things to his thought processes but were impractical for Castiel's current needs. He dug underwear and socks out of the drawer he'd filled the day before, and one of the t shirts he'd brought from Castiel's place a few days ago.

'Assembly is the reverse of removal,' he muttered to himself, eyeing Castiel. 'How much help do you need with drying off and getting dressed, d'you think?'

'Well I have been doing it all my life.'

'Smart ass.'

'I think I can get dried off, and I should probably take a shot at getting dressed. It depends on my ribs more than anything else, bending over is the tricky bit.'

'Right then, here's the deal sunshine, I'm going to give you ten minutes and make some more coffee, you give it a shot. Yell if you need me, and remember the golden rule.'

'No falling?'

'Clever boy.'

Dean patted Castiel on the head, and left him to it. Cas shrugged off the robe, and set about drying himself off, which he was relatively successful at. The T shirt went on no problem, and then came the tough stuff. He grabbed the boxer shorts, and gingerly leaned forward, hooking them over the leg with the cast first. It took two tries, but he got there. He hooked his good foot through the other leg hole and used it to pull them up, bracing himself as he lifted his hips to slip them over his ass. Success! He looked at the shorts and decided a similar approach would work. He pooled them onto the floor, beneath his good foot, and lifting the cast, poked it through the leg hole. He used his good foot to hook the shorts, pulling them up enough to be able to reach the waistband without bending too far. They were wide enough that they passed over the cast with ease, and then rather than bracing himself on his hands, he lay on his back, lifting his hips just enough to tug the shorts up fully, buttoning them with a sigh of relief. It would probably have been easier with Dean's help, but the success was reassuring.

He snagged his crutches, and the socks Dean had pulled out, one regular, one huge, and he crutched himself into the kitchen. Dean watched him come in, moving more surely now than he had yesterday, and mostly clothed, apart from his socks.

'Awesome! You won!'

'Do I get a prize?'

Dean grinned and braced Castiel so that he could lower himself onto a dining chair, and placed another mug of coffee in front of him.

'For putting your clothes on, all on your own, you get two prizes. Coffee and breakfast. How does that sound?'

Castiel was exhausted, and sore and grouchy, but most of all he was ravenous. Healing takes a lot of energy apparently. Coffee and breakfast sounded wonderful, and he told Dean so. Soon they were tucking into plates piled high with bacon and eggs, and toast, and it was possibly the best meal he'd ever eaten. It was certainly the best reward for putting his clothes on, he'd ever received. He looked up at Dean and wondered idly what the reward might be for taking his clothes off. Dean caught him staring and he ducked his head, focusing back on his food.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome To My Nightmare - Alice Cooper


	8. One Way Or Another

For strangers, Dean found that their lifestyles fit together pretty well, although he supposed that they weren't really strangers any more. In the mornings he would bring coffee and make breakfast, and they would clean up the kitchen together. Castiel wisely decided to limit his showers to once every two or three days, while that first one had felt good, it had also been hard work, and he figured he wasn't exactly working up a sweat hanging out in Dean's house. Dean promised to hose him off in the garden if the smell got too bad, and by the glint in his eye Castiel could tell that he would do it too.

Castiel would spend the morning on his laptop, or reading, and Dean would, for the most part, leave him to it, bringing him drugs at the right times and lunch or a snack if he was having food himself. They devoted their afternoons to movie marathons, until they both discovered a shared guilty liking for Doctor Sexy, and so they added that to their viewing roster. Dean would cook dinner and play records from his extensive collection, and they spent the evenings talking, just hanging out together.  On Sunday morning though, when Dean slipped into Castiel's bedroom to give him coffee and pills, he wasn't there. After a very brief search Dean located the man on the floor of the bathroom, in an undignified heap.

'Damn it sunshine, what were you thinking? You broke the golden rule.'

Dean tried to keep his frustration hidden, but wasn't wildly successful, as he carefully helped the man into a sitting position. He sat down on the floor next to Castiel, frowning at him, matching the scowl on the other man's face.

'I just wanted to be able to manage on my own. I'm a grown man after all, I shouldn't need a carer.'

'Get over yourself. You need help, stunts like this are going to keep you in that cast for even longer. And more to the point I frigging offered to help. Why turn that down?'

'Because the sooner I can manage with this stupid thing, the sooner I can go home.'

'Why are you in such a hurry? Am I that awful to live with?'

Castiel sighed. No, that wasn't it at all, almost the opposite in some ways. He could feel himself getting sucked into domesticity with Dean, already, and it was warm and comforting. But Dean wouldn't want him, not if he knew everything about him, the cause of his nightmares, his past. Castiel wanted to go home before he woke Dean screaming in the night again, and was maybe forced to reveal what haunted his dreams. He looked up, Dean was glaring at him.

'No, you're fine, I just, it's my home, you know. I've imposed on you a lot, I don't want to overstay my welcome.'

'You're not overstaying anything. I offered. You can be here for as long as you need the help. Understand? There's no shame in needing a little help sometimes. You gotta learn to let people care for you sunshine, then maybe you wouldn't be stuck with the likes of me.'

Castiel just scowled at his busted leg. Dean took pity on him, he could understand the need for independence, he'd seen that look in the mirror enough times.

'Alright man, look I'll make you a deal. I'll take you over to your place and we'll have us a little experiment. If you can get up and down the stairs in a reasonable amount of time, and without hurting yourself, then I'll drop my objections. You can go home and I'll find some other way to keep my promise. Deal?'

Castiel looked at his leg, and the crutches he'd dropped in his tumble. Stairs, how hard could they be? It seemed like a good deal. And then maybe he could go home without Dean worrying too much and they could put some distance between them both.  It would give Castiel space to consider the feelings he had for the man sitting next to him. And he wouldn't wake Dean up with his screams again.

'OK, let's do it.'

'Alright man, great. But first, do you need some help with whatever it was you were attempting in here?'

'I was trying to have a shave, I look like a hermit. I was leaning on the sink and my cast slipped out from under me.'

'Did you hurt yourself?'

Before he could stop himself Dean was gripping Castiel's jaw, tilting his head left and right, checking for injuries, ghosting his hands down lean strong arms, and searching for broken bones. He took Castiel's left hand and rotated it gently, and then the right. He stopped when he heard a hiss, turning the hand over slowly. The pad of the hand he was holding looked puffy, as if a bruise was forming, and Dean assumed this was the one that had broken the fall.

'See, damn it, you and your independence, you've got another bruise to add to your collection. You're lucky, you managed to avoid breaking anything else, but I think your hand is gonna be bruised, that's going to make it harder on the crutches. You sure you want to go home today? You don't have to do this.'

'Yes, I'm sure, I can do it. I want to try.'

Dean looked at him sitting on the floor, where they'd been for several minutes now, and where he'd been for who knew how long before Dean found him. Dean wasn't sure, but the man wanted to try, so try they would.

'Alright, here's what we'll do. You can shave in the kitchen, sitting at the table, so you don't have to stand or try and balance while you've got a sharp blade in your hand. I'll give you a bowl of warm water and I'll hold the mirror, and you can do it yourself. Then after breakfast we're going to your place. Sound good?'

'OK, thank you Dean.'

'Stop saying thank you. You can make it up to me by not doing any more stupid dangerous shit OK?'

Castiel nodded.

'Oh and one more thing, before we go anywhere you're going to apologize to baby for the dent you put in her. I think she's mad at you.'

'You're ridiculous. It's just a car.'

'I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt here, and assume that you don't know any better, or that it's the head injury talking. Shave, breakfast, apology, stairs, that's our plan for the day. Understood?'

'Whatever you say Winchester. If entertaining your delusions gets me home, I'll play along. I will apologize to your car. Is there any chance that she's going to apologize to me for the dents she put in me?'

Dean rolled his eyes. 'It's a car, Cas, it can't talk. What's wrong with you?'

'Whatever Dean. Let's get this show on the road huh?'

Dean helped Castiel off the floor, handed him the crutches and watched him make his way into the kitchen, before gathering the shaving supplies Castiel had scattered across the bathroom floor, along with a hand mirror. In the kitchen he placed the brush, soap and razor in front of Castiel, along with a couple of towels. He drew a bowl of water, checking it wasn't too hot, and placed it in front of the dark haired man at his kitchen table. Sitting down opposite, he picked up the mirror, and angled it so that Castiel could see what he was doing as he soaped his face and began carefully to shave.

As Dean watched in silence, he thought about the intimacy of caring for someone like this, the necessity of touch, the closeness. He tried to think of all the times he'd watched another man shave, and the only instances he could think of were his father, when he was teaching Dean to shave, and Sam when Dean passed that knowledge on. Both times the relationships were the bonds of family, with all the complications that came with loving another human being in close confines, the ties of blood and love and commitment, made through circumstance, not necessarily choice. He wondered about that, Castiel being in his home was as much through circumstance as it was choice, for both of them. He imagined that their trip to Castiel's home would reinforce the circumstances side of the situation too. He knew the man wanted to have his independence, but having seen those stairs, he knew that Castiel wasn't going to make it up and down again, not with his busted ribs. Inevitably the man would be staying with Dean a little while longer, whether he liked it or not. Castiel had an iron determination, but Dean suspected that would not be enough today.

He watched Castiel carefully, as his face emerged from the scruff of his beard. The bruising on his face was also beginning to clear, and as the swelling disappeared it was revealing fine features. Castiel had an expressive face, with soft pink lips, high cheek bones, and stunning blue eyes, framed with dark, long lashes. Once his beard was gone the face looked younger than his years, except his eyes. Those betrayed a hint of experience, of a life lived. As Castiel dipped one of the towels in the water to wash the remaining soap from his face, he met Dean's gaze for a long moment, until Dean dropped his eyes, breaking from his daydream thoughts.

'That feels so much better. Thanks.' Castiel took the clean towel Dean offered and dried his now fuzz free face.

'Now you really look like a twelve year old. I can't go out in public with you, they'll think I kidnapped you.'

'Don't be ridiculous, at your age they'll just think I'm your son.'

'I'm not old.'

'Whatever you say Grandpa. I shaved my face without killing myself. Happy?'

Dean sighed, happy was a complicated question these days. 

By the time they cleared breakfast away Castiel was practically bouncing in his seat, ready to see his home again.

'You're so determined to humiliate yourself aren't you? Is this another aspect of your death wish? You're a masochist?'  

Castiel just scowled, 'I just want to go home Dean.  Can we go now please?'

Dean relented, 'Alright, alright, come on then. Let's go see baby so you can beg for forgiveness.'

Dean snagged his keys and Castiel's where they were sitting together on the same hook, and led the way out of the house, to the car, Castiel hobbling on his crutches behind. Approaching the huge black car, Castiel could see that he had indeed made a sizable dent in the drivers side front wing. That explained the broken ribs then. Dean looked at him expectantly. Castiel rolled his eyes and crutched up to the car. Carefully balancing himself, he reached out to pat the hood lightly, wondering if the neighbours were watching. This was ridiculous.

'Ah hello car. Um. Well. Dean says you're mad at me for putting a dent in you with my ribs. So I'm sorry. It will never happen again. I promise.'

He gave the car another pat and raised his eyebrows at Dean, as if to say are we done here? Dean grinned and nodded, and helped him into the back seat.

When they pulled up outside Castiel's home, he sighed happily. It had been over a week since he'd seen the place. Easing out of the car with Dean's help, they made their way up the porch steps, Castiel leaning heavily on Dean, who used Castiel's key to let them both in. They made their way slowly to the foot of the stairs, and Castiel stared up at them. Had there always been so many?

'So, now do you want to do some warm ups? Maybe a few lunges or something, before you go for it?'

'Lets just get on with it. What are you going to do while I'm climbing the stairs?'

'I'm going to sit right here and wait for you to come back down. You have ten minutes. And remember the golden rule.'

'No falling, got it.'

Castiel moved to the bottom of the stairs. He watched Dean get comfortable in a chair in the hallway, and then he looked back up at the stairs again. He could do this. He stabilized himself, putting all his weight on his hands, gripping the crutches firmly, ignoring the jarring pain coming from the hand he'd injured in the bathroom earlier, and placed his good foot on the first stair. His balance was a little off because of the weight of the cast, but he stepped up onto the stair, and started the process all over again for the next step. He was already breathing hard, and he could feel bands of pain around his chest. Why had he bought a house with so many stairs? At the time the staircase had been a major selling point, but now it was just a focus for all of his frustration, with the accident, the nightmares, the lack of independence the cast and the broken ribs caused. He gritted his teeth and carried on.

Dean watched him carefully, ready to be on his feet if Castiel fell. If he thought he'd get away with it he would be hovering behind the invalid, but he sensed the frustration that had led to Castiel falling this morning and so he held back, on edge, waiting for the slightest indication of a problem. Castiel made his way slowly around the curve of the staircase, out of sight, and Dean checked his watch. Four minutes. The guy might actually do this. Part of Dean wanted to see him succeed, his own conscience would be eased, for one. Plus the little guy fiercely wanted his independence, if he was willing to put himself through this much pain to get it.

Seven minutes. Dean looked up, he couldn't hear any movement. Had he actually made it to the top? Dean felt a pang of something, and when he looked inside himself, he found that there was a big part of him that didn't actually want Castiel to succeed. He liked having someone around the house, someone to care for, and, he realized with a start, he liked Castiel. The guy was grumpy and sarcastic, but he had a wicked sense of humour, he was smart and well read, hot as hell, and had an air of mystery that had Dean intrigued. If Castiel came home, would they see each other again? Would they continue to be friends?

Nine and a half minutes, and no sounds of movement came from the stairs. It was becoming pretty clear that the only way Castiel was going to make it to the bottom of the stairs in ten minutes was the painful way.

'Alright Cas, I'm coming up.'

Dean rounded the corner of the stairs and found Castiel sitting there, he hadn't made it to the top by the looks of things. His head hung low, and he cradled his ribs with one arm, crutches discarded. He looked the picture of misery. Suddenly Dean felt awful for hoping his secret hope that Castiel wouldn't make it, the man's distress was palpable, and for once Dean didn't have the heart for the half dozen sarcastic comments he was thinking of. He abandoned them all in favour of comfort and kindness, the guy clearly had enough shit to deal with right now. Dean sat down carefully next to Castiel, reached an arm out instinctively and wrapped it around the smaller man's shoulder, gently pulling him close. It never occurred to him that there might be a boundary between the two of them.  Dean just wanted to make Castiel feel better. The poor guy was in pain, physically and emotionally. Castiel leaned into Dean with a soft breath, careful not to jostle his injuries, resting his head on Dean's shoulder. He welcomed the comforting touch, not over thinking it or questioning it for once, just allowing himself to be comforted. They sat that way for a while, Castiel getting his pain under control, and Dean giving patience and care.

'Well, that went well,' Castiel's voice was more gruff than usual, and Dean could hear the frustration behind the attempt at lightheartedness.

'Too bad sunshine, I know you wanted to make it work. We can try again in a few days though huh?' Dean went for a more positive note, still holding Castiel close, rubbing the top of his arm in sympathy.

Castiel heaved out a pained sigh and gingerly sat upright again. Dean stood, and caught up the crutches. He put one in Castiel's hand, and kept the other, taking it's place next to the injured leg. Very carefully, they moved down the stairs, Dean doing his best not to hurt Castiel. He finally deposited Castiel on the couch in his living room, and smiled at him encouragingly.

'It'll be OK, I have another week of vacation time, we can come back in a week and see if you're any better. In the mean time, while we're here, do you want me to water your plants? Is there anything you'd like to bring home? You are coming back with me, I take it?'

Castiel sighed, resigned. If he couldn't make it up his stairs he didn't really have much choice. He had Dean water his plants, collect his mail, and some more clothes, as well as a few books, and then they headed back to Dean's place to eat and rest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One Way Or Another - Blondie


	9. Amazing

'Hey, Cas, can I ask you something?'

They were hanging out in Dean's living room, Dean had a book in his hand, and looked over at Castiel, who was tapping away on his laptop. Dean had no clue what Castiel got up to on that laptop, but it kept him occupied and hopefully, happy, and Dean wasn't really one for sticking his nose in other people's business. He was though, about to make an exception to that rule. Castiel looked up and levelled a stare at Dean, one eyebrow raised.

'You can ask whatever you like. I'll let you know if I want to answer you, once you ask it.'

'Smart. OK, well, tell me to mind my own business if you like. But I was just wondering, how does a bicycle courier buy a house that looks like it should be on a tourist tour? Do you get danger money or something? You probably should.'

'Ha, no, I wouldn't need it if it wasn't for assholes like you on the road. But I'll be sure to mention that to Gabe when I see him next. He was suggesting he pop by for a visit next week, if that's OK?'

'Sure, Cas, he's a funny little guy but I can put up with him for a while. I'll make sure there's extra sugar in the house. But you dodged the question. Should I mind my own business?'

'No it's alright, I don't mind. I got an inheritance when my parents passed away. It was enough to buy that place and make some sensible investments, which pay enough to keep the place running if I'm frugal. The bicycle courier gig pays a little, but I do it as much for fun as anything, and to help Gabe, he and I went to school together. I was at a loose end when he set up shop, so I went to work for him.'

'Sorry man, I didn't mean to drag up old memories.'

'It's OK, it was a long time ago.'

Dean wondered exactly how long ago, but didn't press the question. Castiel might say he was alright with talking about it, but Dean could see the pain in his eyes when he talked about his parents, and so he changed the subject slightly.

'It's a beautiful place, The views from upstairs alone, I can see why you bought it.'

'It's beautiful now, it was a wreck when I bought it, not much more than a shell really. It had been squatted in for years by a bunch of Greenpeace types, and the place was basically trashed. I rebuilt it from the ground up. It's why my inheritance went as far as it did, I got it cheap because it was such a huge job to get it right, and I kept the costs down by doing the work myself. On those old places the city has all these rules about how they can be restored and painted and stuff. It was a pain in the ass. But it's done now, and it's home.'

'You did all that yourself? Wow, Cas, you did an awesome job there. We'll get you back there and doing Rocky style training runs up the stairs soon enough.'

'I had some help, with the tricky stuff, like electrics, and I think Gabe came and looked at me while I painted stuff, he even brought muffins one time, and he let me stay with him when the roof was leaking. But I did the bulk of it. It took more than two years to get it how I wanted it.'

'A labor of love huh? So did you grow up in the city?'

'I did, I travelled a bit after I left college, but I was always going to come back here in the end. What about you? You work as a mechanic right?'

It seemed odd that they'd shared so much intimacy, yet knew so little of each others lives. Dean knew how Castiel took his coffee, and how he reacted to pain, but he didn't know anything about his family, or his school life or even what he'd studied in college.

'Yeah, I fix cars for Bobby Singer, you know Singer's Autos? In the south city?' Castiel nodded.

'I've been there since high school. My pay isn't all that, but it's good work and he's a good boss, and it's enough to afford this place, which isn't as pretty as yours, but it is home.'

'I don't know Dean, your place has a lot to offer, no stairs for a start.'

'Well, yeah, that does come in handy sometimes huh? So yeah. Sammy went to Stanford, became the world's greatest lawyer, and me, I fix cars.'

'Is that what you wanted to do?' Castiel caught a slight edge in Dean's voice which made him wonder if there was more to the story.

'I don't know really. I did it to take care of Sam at first, my dad, well lets just say he isn't going to win father of the year, so I needed to make sure I could look after Sam. When I was in high school Bobby gave me a few hours a week, so I could earn enough to put food on the table if I needed to, and well, it just sort of stuck.'

'Do you like it?'

'Most days. Like everyone I guess, good days and bad. It pisses my dad off, that I didn't make more of myself. That's what we fought about the day you hit my car with your ridiculous bike. But he's a fine one to talk.'

Dean was saved from a depressing conversation about his dad, by a loud thumping on his front door, and he looked up at the clock.

'Crap'

'Who's at the door?'

'The aforementioned wonder lawyer. It's Sunday, he usually shows up for dinner on Sundays. But I've been so busy talking to you, I forgot to cook anything. Sunday night take out sound good to you?'

He got up to let Sam in, and after a round of greetings, Sam smelled the air.

'Are you cooking imaginary food today Dean?'

'Can it, moose, I lost track of the days, I didn't realize it was Sunday until you tried to break my door down. We can order pizza, alright? I'll get you one with vegetables on it, specially.'

'I guess one takeout won't kill me. So Cas, is Dean looking after you OK?'

'Well, so far he made me talk to his car, forced me to climb the stairs at my house, and let me fall over in the bathroom. So yeah, we're doing fine.'

'Damn it sunshine, next time I'm going to push you down those stairs. Why do you have to be such an asshole? I open my house to you, give you my clothes, my food, and then you just go and tell my brother a bunch of lies.'

'Did you or did you not make me apologize to your car?'

'Well yes, but...'

'And what did we do today?'

'We went to your house and I watched you fail to climb your stairs, but...'

'And where did you find me this morning?'

'Damn it. On the floor in the bathroom. You're a dick.'

Sam just watched this back and forth and wondered if the two of them knew that they were flirting with each other. It was kind of adorable actually, Dean had managed to find someone who would call him on his shit, and who still seemed to like him anyway. All by running him over. It was a miracle.

Sam and Dean hung out, ate pizza and drank beer, and Castiel even celebrated finishing his antibiotics with a beer or two. He was down to just taking the anti inflammatory pills now, and the occasional painkiller, and that last antibiotic pill felt like a milestone in his recovery. Eventually the conversation wound around to Sam and the cute nurse, and Sam revealed that they'd been on a date the night before. Ever the civilized gentleman, Sam had taken Jess for dinner at a little bistro place, and then on to drinks at a rum bar modelled after a smuggler's cove, apparently the place even had a small lagoon.

'Well done Sammy, so did you take her home afterwards?'

He had done. Depositing her safely at her door, just after midnight, and then going home himself, alone. Dean despaired.

'She was cute. You fed her rum. And then you dropped her off at home? You're killing me man.'

'Hey, not all of us throw ourselves headlong into relationships. We're going out again next week, there's a Cary Grant retrospective on at the old movie theatre, we're going to catch a couple of movies and dinner.'

'Black and white movies? And she went for this?'

'It was her idea.' Sam was smug.

'Wow, Sammy, I think you found your unicorn. She's perfect for you.'

Sam just huffed, and decided it was time for him to go home. He cleared out and left Dean and Castiel to their own devices. Dean tidied up and Castiel watched, curious. When Dean rejoined him on the couch he chanced the question Sam's conversation had left with him.

'So what was Sam's point about going headlong into relationships?'

'Uh, well, I guess when I was younger, I had a bit of a shoot first, ask questions later, kind of attitude to relationships. It got me into trouble a couple of times. Sam just likes to remind me of my screw ups occasionally.'

'So there's a chance that a pissed ex girlfriend could batter down your door?'

'Nah, the girls were fine, they sort of expected it I think. I must look like the kind of guy who isn't going to be sharing breakfast.' Dean looked a little sheepish. 'It was the guys, they didn't take too kindly to waking up alone apparently. Who knew, huh? Sammy had to help me with one or two, ah, short term relationships that veered into crazytown.'

'You obviously have a strange effect on men.'

'Huh, some men, not all men. Only the ones predisposed to being a bit crazy. In hindsight, that might have been why I picked them in the first place. They were fun when they were on the right side of it, you know? Not so much when they went off the deep end. Sammy actually got a restraining order against one guy. But that was a long time ago. I haven't heard from any of them for years. How 'bout you, any crazy ex's likely to turn up and wreak havoc on my place while you're here?'

Castiel's eyes widened for a minute, and a flurry of emotions crossed his face, before he visibly shut them down.

'No, no crazy ex's, nothing to worry about there. I think I'm going to go to bed Dean, it's been a rough day.'

Dean helped him up and watched him go, wondering what the hell he'd said to cause that abrupt reaction.

When Castiel woke, screaming, at three in the morning, Dean was by his side like a shot. He'd gotten into the habit of leaving his door open, just in case, even though it had been all quiet since that first nightmare. Without hesitating, Dean climbed into the spare bed and pulled the smaller man carefully into his arms, settling the dark head under his chin. He rocked him gently until he calmed down, and talked to him softly, murmuring soothing words until Castiel's tears dried up and he fell asleep on his chest, wrapped in Dean's tender embrace. When he was sure Castiel was out again, and sleeping peacefully, Dean eased himself from the bed, settling Castiel down to sleep, and padded back to his own bed, wondering what was so awful in his dreams that it would cause Castiel to make such horrific noises.

The next morning Castiel was pale as he accepted coffee from Dean, and he couldn't hide the slight tremble in his hands. He was sitting up in bed and Dean perched on a corner of it, watching him like he was a wild animal, prone to startling at any moment.

'Cas, look, I'm not going to bug you about this, and I need you to know that your nightmares are not going to cause me to throw you out, or anything ridiculous like that. You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to, but have you ever talked to anyone about them?'

Castiel just shook his head, looking hard at his coffee. The thought of putting into words the awful images that swirled around his mind when he slept was just too much.

'Alright well look, yesterday was rough on you, Today you're going to take it easy. I'm going to work on the car, I have an asshole sized dent to fix. So I've set you up a chair in the garage, where you can sit and join me if you want. The wifi reaches down there so you can bring your laptop if you like. Or if you'd prefer, you can have the run of the house to practice your ballet. Up to you.'

Castiel was still shaken from the nightmare last night. Normally that would make him withdrawn, antisocial even. But Dean's warmth drew Castiel close, and a day in the garage, in fresh air, sounded appealing.

'I'll come and hang out in your garage if you make us breakfast first.'

'Sure thing sunshine, although I'm starting to think you just can't cook.'

As Dean worked on the car, Castiel pecked away on his laptop, the two of them listening to the old radio Dean kept in his garage. It was tuned to a classic rock station and every now and then Dean would sing along with a few lines. His voice was smooth and rich, and surprisingly in tune. As he listened, more to Dean than the radio, Castiel thought about the way Dean had read to him, the rise and fall of his voice, along with the slight twang of accent. He'd compared it to honey at the time, and now he could hear Dean singing, it seemed like an accurate description. Sweet, thick and smoothly flowing, Castiel thought he could listen to it all day. It soothed the last few flutters of distress in him, left over from his nightmare, and made him feel warm, and comforted, just as the way Dean had held him last night had made him feel safe and whole.

As he watched Dean wielding tools and occasionally swearing at his pride and joy, Castiel understood that he was growing to genuinely like this man. There was no denying that he was attracted to Dean, the man was gorgeous after all, even covered in sweat and oil, hair mussed, and a couple of days worth of stubble dusting his jaw. The garage door was wide open and the sun shone into the cool space. As Dean worked Castiel could see the muscles moving under his old t shirt, and the sweat building up from the exertion. Being a mechanic might not be the most intellectually stimulating job but it clearly kept Dean fit. But this was more than just physical attraction, Castiel could tell. He wondered if it was one of those crisis situation things, where people fell for each other in the midst of disaster, emotions heightened by the drama. But then he looked around and realized that, although the accident itself had been dramatic, the days following it had been anything but. Dean's presence was a calming influence, and considering that most of the drama in Castiel's life had come from tangling with road users while he worked, his life in the past few days had been remarkably more relaxed than usual.

Was it the comfort? Someone caring for him? It was definitely a foreign experience. Castiel had deliberately kept people at arms length, he'd never let anyone in like this. But the pull of domesticity was getting stronger. The clincher for Castiel was the way Dean had reacted to his nightmares. When he'd come to himself last night, finally breaking free of the horror that haunted him, it had been to warm, strong arms encircling him, protecting him, and that honey voice in his ear whispering words of comfort and safety. Dean had promised Castiel that he was OK, he was safe, everything was going to be fine, it was just a nightmare. Dean hadn't just woken him, he'd held him and comforted him through it, in a display of remarkable tenderness for a man who could probably start a fight in an empty house. Not once had he demanded to know what was happening in Castiel's mind, even the comment this morning about talking to someone about it had been gentle, and Dean had closed the subject when it was clear Castiel didn't want to talk.

Castiel had never expected that kind of reaction, or such respect for the boundaries he'd set out, and he didn't quite know how to respond. Part of him wanted to confess, to tell the tales that swirled through his mind at night, and to let Dean comfort him through it, like he did last night. But he didn't want to be looked at with pity, or worse, revulsion. To see that from Dean would be awful, it might even break his heart. And that was when Castiel knew. If a look from this man could break his heart, then this was definitely more than just attraction. Castiel was falling for the mechanic.

He looked up, not sure how to process that revelation, and discovered that Dean was watching him. He was standing, cleaning his hands off with an old rag, staring thoughtfully at Castiel, and Castiel wondered how long he'd been looking, and what his face might have given away while Dean had watched.

'Looks like you're wrestling with some pretty heavy duty thoughts there Cas, need to share?'

Crap. No, no need to share. Definitely not.

'I was just trying to decide how much it's going to cost you to replace my bike.'

'Don't tell me, you want some fancy ass hipster bike no one's ever heard of, made out of dragon's blood and unicorn hair or something.'

Castiel laughed. 'How did you know? Hope your insurance is good Dean, do you know the price of dragon's blood these days?'

'Fabulous. And what are you going to do with it, hopalong? Look at it? I guess at least I've got a few weeks to save up. Come on, Gabe will be here soon, and I need a shower before he shows up.'

They headed back into the house, Dean pulling off his oily t shirt as he went, and using it to scrub sweat from his face. It was a warm day, and his skin shone with perspiration. As Castiel followed, watching the muscles in Dean's back move, under golden, freckled skin, his brain fed him a vision of himself licking the sweat from between Dean's shoulder blades, and he nearly fell off his crutches. Boy, was he in trouble. Dean seemed oblivious though, as he dropped the shirt in a hamper in the bathroom, and closed the door. Castiel headed for the living room, to give his mind a talking to about appropriate images.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amazing - Aerosmith


	10. Kiss Me

Gabe's visit that evening provided a welcome distraction from Castiel's growing feelings, and served to disguise any awkwardness he might have had around Dean. Over a simple dinner cooked by Dean, Gabe caught Castiel up on the courier business, and regaled Dean with Castiel's adventures as a bike courier with a death wish. Although his run in with the Impala was his most brutal, it was by no means the first time he'd found himself on the tarmac instead of on his bike.

'Remember the time you punched that guy?' Gabe was laughing already.

Castiel groaned, and Dean raised his eyebrows.

'That one wasn't a car. This dumb shit cyclist from another courier company cut me off, and nearly put me on the floor in the middle of the street. So I caught him at the lights and punched him in the face. He deserved it, he wasn't even looking.'

'Wow, I got off lightly then, if you punched a guy who didn't even touch you. You'd have probably flattened me if you'd been able to stand up.' Dean was laughing along with Gabe now.

'Our Castiel does have a bit of a temper. I had to talk the cops out of charging him for that one, told them it was the heat of the moment, response to extreme stress, that sort of thing.'

'Was it?' Dean asked, curious.

'Hell no, I followed him for two miles before I caught him. I just wanted to punch him for being an asshole.'

'Wow, Cas you're scary. Maybe I should be locking my door at night.'

'I have no plans for murder in your immediate future, Dean.'

'Well that makes me feel so much better, I was thinking you might beat me with your crutch a bit, who said anything about murder?'

'I'd at least wait until I got this damn cast off, so I could make my getaway. What do you take me for? I'm going to kill you in your sleep and then hang around for the cops?'

'You've thought this through haven't you? I make you dinner and bring you coffee, and generally let you hang around my house and you're planning to murder me. What kind of gratitude is that?'

Gabe watched the back and forth, coming rapidly to the same conclusion Dean's brother had arrived at. These two were totally into each other, although they seemed oblivious. As they laughed together Gabe was secretly thrilled. He'd given up trying to set up Castiel with anyone years ago. The man usually refused point blank to go on dates, and when he did go on a first date, there was never a second. But now he'd been forced into the company of a man, and it turned out he did in fact have the capacity to like someone, to let his defences down a little and let someone in. Ironically, getting hit by a car might be the best thing that could have happened to him. Maybe the universe had been done with his avoidance measures and decided to take matters into it's own hands. Maybe it was just coincidence. Whatever it was, Dean seemed to be good for Castiel. Gabe couldn't remember the last time he'd seen the man laugh so much.

* * * * *

Later that night Castiel woke with a gasp. But this was no nightmare. Castiel closed his eyes and allowed the dream to come back. His body whole and pain free, and Dean, in bed with him, pressed over him, kissing him, mouthing along his jaw, running firm hands through his hair. Moving down his body, licking and kissing, sucking bruises into his skin, setting him on fire. Castiel had woken when dream Dean's mouth, hot and wet, closed around his quivering cock. He huffed a laugh, he wouldn't have minded seeing his dream through to it's conclusion for once. Groaning with frustration, he rolled over and tried hard to get some sleep. His arousal pressing into the mattress made sleep difficult to come by.

Castiel and Dean's lives moved along comfortably together over the next few days. Castiel's bruises turned a sunset of colours and faded nicely, and he could finally feel the tightness in his ribs start to reduce. His leg itched relentlessly under the cast, which he supposed was a good sign. Their days were relaxed, Castiel tried not to think too hard about his teenage boy style lust dream, and hoped he wasn't behaving weirdly around Dean. He'd worked out that he was attracted to the man, but he had no idea if Dean felt the same way, and Castiel could see what a spectacularly bad idea it would be to make a move on the man in who's house he was living.  Awkward wouldn't even come close if Dean knocked him back, and so Castiel sat on his feelings, trying his best to ignore them.

On Thursday Sam texted Dean to invite them out for food at a local bar. Castiel was dying to get out of the house, and Dean would welcome the change of scenery. Castiel invited Gabe too, he had a feeling Gabe and Sam would get along. Leaving the house and being civilized people, though, meant showering and dressing like adults. Castiel had been wearing shorts and a parade of old t shirts, some his, some Dean's, and Dean had been rocking a variety of old jeans and t shirts. Castiel wasn't quite sure what he was going to wear to go out and actually see people, but first things first, the shower. They went through the rigmarole of getting Castiel undressed, although he pretty much had that down now. His balance was much improving, and as his ribs became less painful he was able to use more of his upper body strength to support himself. Dean wrapped his cast and helped him into the shower seat, careful to preserve Castiel's privacy, and closed the cubicle door. This time though, instead of staying, he called through the door.

'Hey Cas, I'm going to leave you to it, I'll be back in twenty minutes to help you get out. I'm gonna scare us up some clothes to wear tonight, OK?'

'Sure, OK, thanks.'

'Alright sunshine. Remember the golden rule. Don't even think about trying to get out until I come back, understood?'

'Understood Dean. No falling.'

'If you need me, yell, OK? I'm trusting you not to be a dumb ass, here.'

'I'm not a child Dean.'

'Well, now you can prove it.' And with that Dean was gone, closing the bathroom door behind him.

For a few moments Castiel just luxuriated in the shower, washing his hair carefully, and leaning his head back to rinse it clean. As he closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the warm water running over his skin, his dream from a few nights ago came flooding back to him in technicolor detail. His imagination supplied him with all the information he needed and as he remembered how vividly he'd felt Dean's lips on his, he could also feel his cock growing hard again at the image. He hummed as he soaped his hands to wash himself down, until inevitably those hands found his cock, paying close attention to its cleaning. Eventually cleaning turned to pumping, and it felt like only a few moments before he could feel the pull of his orgasm beginning deep in his stomach. He relaxed into the feeling, making the most of the privacy Dean had given to him. As the image of Dean's mouth taking his cock flooded his mind he gasped through his release, pumping slowly until he was done, feeling loose boned and fluid. Groaning with pleasure, he reached up and unhooked the shower head, rinsing himself and the shower cubicle down, hiding the evidence of his moment of bliss.

He finished showering, and when Dean hadn't returned he considered for a moment and then grinned to himself. Turning off the shower, he pulled open the cubicle door a little, took a deep breath and let out the loudest, most terrified yell he could muster.

'AAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!'

Dean clattered through the bathroom door, breathless.

'Cas? What happened? Are you OK?'

Castiel was laughing so hard he was doubled over. Dean took in the scene, Castiel was still on the shower seat, not in pain, and laughing. Son of a bitch.

'Not cool asshole, not cool.'

'You said yell if I needed you. I was done, so I yelled. I followed your instructions. Now pass me that towel.'

An arm holding a towel stuck itself into the shower cubicle, and Castiel grabbed the offering, lifting his hips to shimmy it underneath him, and wrapping it around his waist. He was still laughing when Dean yanked open the cubicle door to help him out, and when he saw Dean's face contorted in anger, he laughed even more.

'Laugh it up asshole.'

'Come on Dean, you have to admit it was pretty funny, I didn't know you could move that fast.'

Dean helped him step out of the shower and now they were standing face to face, Dean's hands on Castiel's hips, helping him keep his balance, holding him firmly.

Dean's voice was almost a growl. 'I thought you hurt yourself.'

Castiel was very still all of a sudden. He looked up into Dean's eyes, and he saw the twinge of distress there. His breath caught as he looked into those pools of green, which seemed to look through him, past his bravado, past any exterior, any defences he might build up. For a moment they stood together, just looking into each other.

'I'm fine Dean.' Castiel breathed, not sure whether he wanted to break the moment or not.

'You scared me.' Dean's voice was soft now, small. Suddenly he didn't want to let go of Castiel. He flexed his fingers on Castiel's hips, testing, trying, wondering whether he should pull away or explore.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I'm OK, you can see that.' Voice soothing, Castiel made no move to push Dean away, resting his hands on Dean's muscular lower arms, and so the taller man stepped closer.

'You shouldn't mess with me like that, sunshine, it's not nice.'

Their lips were now inches apart. Castiel had a flash back to his dream and suddenly he wanted to close the gap, badly. The desire that washed over him, in that moment, was overwhelming. He tilted his face up to Dean, licked his lips, and took a breath.

'I like messing with you Dean.' His voice was low and gravelly. There was that wicked grin again.

'You're an asshole, you know that?'

Castiel just nodded, focused on Dean's lips. Plush and full of promise, all he could see right now was the way the Dean of his dream had pressed hot kisses over his skin. As if Dean could hear the thoughts racing through his mind, he made the decision for them both. He brought one hand up, running it through the damp hair at the back of Castiel's neck, and watched his blue eyes widen. When he received no objection he brought their lips together, into a soft, sweet kiss. As he made to pull away, Castiel ran a hand up his arm, gripping his shoulder and pulled him close again.

Dean hummed into Castiel's mouth, taking pleasure in tasting the man he'd been daydreaming about. He'd been trying hard to keep his affection for Castiel under control. Watching him fight to make his way up those stairs had made him realize how much he didn't want the man to leave, but he'd tried hard not to press his feelings onto Cas, because he was hurt, and vulnerable, and stuck in a strange home, and with those nightmares, god knows what was going on in his head. The last thing Dean wanted to do was put any pressure on him. But the way he'd yelled in the bathroom had sent a knife through Dean's heart. He had visions of Castiel on the floor of the bathroom, blood pouring from his head, or his leg broken again, and he'd dropped everything and bolted for the man.

When he found Castiel laughing, his fear turned to anger, but there was no doubt about it, that fear had been real. And not just because he felt a responsibility to the man, but because he cared, really cared. When he'd gotten Castiel upright and he'd looked into those stormy sky blue eyes, his resolve had crumbled. He moved in for the kiss, and when Castiel hadn't pulled away, he'd found out that those lips were as soft as they looked. He snaked his arms around Castiel's back, holding him firm and safe, careful not to put pressure on his ribs, as Castiel gripped him tight. Castiel licked into his mouth and pressed his body against Dean's, closing any gaps between them. He ran a hand through Dean's hair, softly scratching his way to the back of Dean's neck, and Dean hummed a sound of pleasure as the scratches turned into massage on the back of his head.

Eventually they broke their kiss, and pressed their foreheads together.

'Let that be a lesson to you. Don't mess with me.' Dean's voice was husky.

'Message received. I'll keep that in mind.' Castiel gave Dean a look which suggested that he had every intention of messing with Dean in the near future. Dean sincerely hoped that would be the case.

Slowly though, Dean thought, very slowly. He had a sense that Castiel would not respond well to his usual hit it and quit it approach, and besides, he wanted this to stick. So he eased them apart, and smiled.

'Alright sunshine, I need to take a shower, and then we have to go hang out with my brother and your boss. We'll talk about this later, OK?'

Castiel smiled back and nodded. He hobbled from the bathroom with Dean's help, and went back to his room to dry off and calm down. When he found the clothes scattered on the floor, he realized Dean had dropped everything when he'd yelled. He knew he should feel bad, but he didn't, the prank had sent the man into his arms. He had no idea what that meant for the future, but he couldn't complain about that kiss. He pulled clothes together, Dean had apparently found a pair of loose black cargo pants which looked like they might fit over his cast, and when he tugged them on he found that they did. He threw on a black, snug t shirt, and a soft, royal blue button down shirt over the top. He grabbed a pair of socks, and noted that Dean had paired all of his socks for him, one regular of his and one huge, he thought the huge ones were Dean's old football socks. The action struck Castiel as incredibly thoughtful. He still couldn't bend enough to get them on though, and so he loaded his pockets with his wallet and the old phone Dean had loaned him, grabbed his socks, and crutched out to the living room to await Dean's help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kiss Me - Ed Sheeran


	11. These Dreams

Gabe and Sam seemed to bond remarkably quickly, and the four of them had a night at the bar filled with laughter. It felt good to get out of the house, for both Dean and Castiel. With few exceptions they had been homebodies for a full week. They ate burgers, drank beer, sang along to the terrible songs on the juke box and generally had a good time. When Dean walked Castiel to the bathroom, in case he needed a spotter, Sam and Gabe had the chance to really talk.

'So your brother. He is gay right?' Gabe didn't beat around the bush. Sam looked at him for a moment, raised his eyebrows and then shrugged.

'He's kind of an equal opportunities kind of guy. Hasn't met a gender he didn't like yet.'

Gabe's eyes widened, and he grinned.

'So you know these two seem to be getting along pretty well for homicidal driver and accident victim...' Gabe hedged.

'I'm not sure Dean was homicidal, but yeah, I noticed they seem to flirt a lot. I don't think they realize they're doing it though'

'I know right?'

Gabe brought Sam up to speed on his visit with Dean and Castiel, and Sam laughed, sharing his similar experience. They concluded that there was definitely something going on there, and when Dean and Castiel came back to the table, the two men were thick as thieves. Dean raised an eyebrow at Castiel who just shrugged as he eased himself back into his seat.

Dean leaned over to Castiel, and whispered in his ear.

'You think your boss is hitting on my brother?'

Dean's breath was hot in Castiel's ear, and the tickle of his breath sent a message straight to Castiel's groin. He worked hard to maintain his composure and cast a critical eye over Sam and Gabe, who had their heads together, obviously talking about something.

'It's possible. Sam's big enough to wipe the floor with him, he's into that sort of thing.'

Dean raised an eyebrow, 'I bet Jess wouldn't like that too much. Who do you think would win in a cat fight, Nurse Moore or your boss here?'

Castiel spluttered a laugh, 'The nurse, definitely, Gabe's a wimp, seriously. He's useless in a fight.'

Dean laughed with him, whatever those two were up to, it looked a lot like they were planning a date or something. Dean wondered what Sam might do if he had to choose between the cute little blonde and the odd little man.

When Dean and Castiel got home later that night, Dean helped Castiel into the house and eased him onto the couch, all out of habit now. He toed off his shoes and knelt down to pull off Castiel's single boot. He grabbed two beers from the kitchen, and handed one to the man on his couch. Sipping from the other, he snagged his spot at the end of the couch and aimed a thoughtful look at Castiel, who had watched every movement he made. For a moment they just gazed at each other.

'Cas, I... ah,' Dean clearly had something to say, and so Castiel sipped his beer and waited, trying to be patient. All of a sudden he recalled Dean's promise to talk about their kiss later.  Later must be now, he supposed. Dean seemed to gather his thoughts and tried again.

'Cas, look, I don't want to put any pressure on you. You're staying in my house and I'm supposed to be taking care of you. I'm not going to take advantage of you, I want you to know that. What happened earlier, in the bathroom, it was, well I liked it, and I think you did too.  But, if you never want anything to happen again, I won't make you leave, and I'll respect what you want. I'll keep my promise too, that won't change.'

Dean had clearly been thinking since their kiss this afternoon. Despite his outward appearance of happiness, he'd been worrying about overstepping his boundaries, and about hurting Castiel. But Castiel had been thinking too.

'Dean, I know, everything you just said, I know. I don't know what I want, or what I'm ready for, but I know I wanted to kiss you earlier, and I don't regret it. I can't tell you what to expect. I'm not going to make any promises. But I know you won't take any crap, and neither will I. That seems like a good place to start.'

Dean released the breath he didn't know he was holding.

'Well OK then.' Dean smiled softly, and took Castiel's hand. He gave it a squeeze and released it.

'For the record though, if you ever scare the shit out of me like that again, so help me, I'll make sure you never get a shower again as long as you stay here.'

Castiel laughed, and drained his beer. 'Come on Dean, you should have seen your face. If you can't take it, I can go easy on you...'

'Is that how it's going to be? You pranking me? I'll get you back, you wait.'

'Sure, whatever you say. I'm going to go to bed and let you think of ways to get your revenge. Good luck with that.'

Castiel hoisted himself onto his crutches, and Dean stood, to catch him if he fell, another habit. Castiel pressed a gentle kiss to Dean's cheek, and hobbled away to bed, throwing a soft 'goodnight' over his shoulder. Dean sat down again, wondering. Who this man was, how he'd had such an effect on him, and what the future held for them both.

* * * * *

In the early hours of the morning, Castiel's desperate screams woke Dean again. He flew out of his bed, surprised for a moment that even in sleep he could tell the difference between this genuine scream of terror and the fake yell Castiel had used on him earlier. Running into Castiel's room, he slipped into the bed, and pulled the writhing man close to him. Repeating his name over and over, he told the man that it was OK, and that he was safe, nothing was going to hurt him. When Castiel finally came out of it, he was clinging to Dean and he sobbed, brokenly. Dean tried to soothe him through the tears, holding Castiel close to his chest and wrapping every inch of skin he could around the trembling man.

'Shhhh, baby shhh, it's OK, I'm here, nothing can hurt you, I'll protect you, I've got you, come on now.'

He pressed kisses to the man's forehead, to his temple, caressed his back and shoulder, doing everything he could to fight off the monsters of Castiel's dreams. Eventually Castiel calmed, after what seemed like forever. His sobs softened to whimpers and his breath began to steady. Dean pulled Castiel up enough that he could look him in the face.

'How you doing there sunshine?' Dean's own breath was shaky, he'd nursed Castiel through nightmares but this one had been off the charts. It had scared him badly that it took so long to get under control, and how frightened the man in his arms seemed to be, he was still shaking and his breath was still hitching.

'I'm sorry Dean, I woke you again. I wish I could make it stop.'

'Hey, hey, don't you worry about me, I can sleep when I'm dead. This one seemed pretty rough though, worse than normal?'

As he was softly reassuring Castiel, Dean was rearranging the bedsheets from where Castiel had fought with them, and then he pulled the man close again, cocooning them both in the blankets, making them both feel warm and safe. He laid Castiel's head carefully on his chest and waited for the man to answer. Eventually Castiel's voice came, husky and gravelly, and so, so sad.

'That one was... it was pretty bad yes. It wouldn't stop.'

'Well I'm here now, you're safe, nothing is going to hurt you.'

Castiel nodded, and made up his mind. If this man was willing to protect him from his demons, he should at least know what evil he was facing.

'In the morning, I'll tell you. All of it. Everything. But for now can we sleep? Will you stay with me tonight?'

'You sure? I hear that I snore.'

'I'm sure, please, stay.'

'OK, I'll stay, but no funny business.'

Castiel laughed a little and Dean sent a silent prayer of thanks to the gods at that sound. Sliding down into the bed, he curled around Castiel, pulling him as close as he could without hurting him. Castiel settled into him, and Dean lay there, listening as Castiel's breathing relaxed, and he fell asleep. He wondered what Castiel was going to tell him, what had got him so scared at night. Dean hoped it was something he could help with, or at least protect his man from. He fell asleep wondering when he had started to think of Castiel as his.

* * * * *

The next morning Dean eased out of bed early, even on vacation his body clock was attuned to the 7am rise and shine of the working man. This morning though, he could admit that he was reluctant to leave the cosiness of bed. Castiel's body curled against him was warm and affectionate, and it had been a long time since he'd woken up in the embrace of another person. But he wanted to give Castiel some space. Last night he'd promised to tell Dean all about his nightmares, but Dean had no intention of holding him to that decision, if Castiel wasn't willing. He'd made the promise at the height of an emotional roller coaster, and Dean was experienced enough to know that things often looked different in the cold light of day. So Dean's plan was to do what he always did, let Castiel sleep until his drugs were due, and then he'd wake him with coffee, and see what the morning sun brought.

When he brought Castiel his coffee, he was surprised to find the man awake and sitting upright in bed, staring into space. Pain and guilt moved across his face, he was miles away, and Dean guessed that he was considering last night's mental horror show.

'Hey, morning sunshine, you're awake.' Dean pressed the coffee into Castiel's hand, smoothing his thumb over Castiel's knuckle as he did so, and sat down on the edge of the bed, cradling his own coffee.

'Thank you Dean, when I go home I think this is one of the things I'll miss the most, coffee in bed.' Castiel smiled into his cup.

'Well, you know there's no rush on that, you can stay here as long as you need.'

Castiel nodded. He had the feeling that going home was going to be difficult in more ways than one. He looked hard into his coffee cup as if it might hold the answers he sought.

'Cas look, I know you said that you wanted to talk about your nightmares, but I'm not going to expect you to do that. I can see that it hurts, and the last thing I want to do is make you open old wounds while you're healing from the ones you gave yourself on my car.'

Castiel huffed a laugh at Dean's description of the accident, and then sobered. He'd made the decision, and actually, choosing to tell someone made him feel lighter already. Now he just needed to see that decision through. He drained his coffee, and waggled the cup at Dean.

'I appreciate that, it means a lot, but I do want to talk about it, if you're still willing to listen. But it's kind of a minimum two coffee conversation. To be honest it's more of a four beer conversation but it's a bit early for that.'

'So what, I'm your waitress now? It'd need to be special circumstances to warrant a second coffee in bed.'

Castiel gave his best kicked puppy look, and Dean gave up.

'Alright I'll be back in two.'

Replenished coffees in hand, Castiel took a deep breath, and looked hard at Dean. How this man had wormed his way around his walls was still a mystery to Castiel. But apparently he had managed it, and for whatever reason Castiel trusted him. He took a mental step off the cliff, and began his story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These Dreams - Heart


	12. Do You Want To Know A Secret?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this story has been quite sweet until now but it's about to get a little darker. Please check the tags, this isn't just a romance, and there will be drama, manipulation, and violence. Castiel's past is rough, and without spoiling the story, it's not going to be all just a bed of roses from here on out. I don't want anyone to be mislead!

'My parents were wonderful people. They were very religious, but in a rare, open, live and let live, kind of way. Do unto others, you know? They took that part of the scripture to heart. When I came out, when I was fifteen, they were amazing. They told me they loved me no matter what, and all that mattered was that I was a good person, who made good choices for myself. When their church preached against homosexuality, they found a new church with a more welcoming message. My sister, Anna, was three years younger than me. I remember the day mom brought her home from the hospital, she told me Anna was my little sister, and she said I was to love and protect her, because brothers and sisters had a special relationship. She was right. Anna was beautiful, smart and creative, she said she was going to save the world, and I believed, truly, that she could. I would have fought the entire world to keep her safe. I was lucky, family life wasn't always perfect, who's is? But they loved me, unquestionably...'

Castiel came out to his parents at fifteen, and a few months later, after his parents switched churches to a more liberally thinking venue, he met a charming boy at an event at the new church. Zachariah Morgan was older, at seventeen his maturity and experience were alluring. His devotion to his religion and his easy charm made him a hit with Castiel's parents, who were thrilled that Castiel had settled with a nice boy. Castiel was smitten, lost in the heady throes of a first love. He didn't see how little by little Zach was manipulating him. It started with small things, Zach would drive him to school every day, and home again, even though he attended a different high school. He would call in the evenings, when they weren't together. He would ask Castiel all about his day, wanting to know in detail what he'd done, who he'd spoken to. It seemed as though he was an attentive boyfriend. But slowly, surely, Zach managed to become the wedge between Castiel and his friends. He demanded more and more of Castiel's time, and flew into jealous rages when Castiel planned a study session with Gabe, or a trip to the movies with anyone that wasn't him.

At the same time, Zach dripped poison into Castiel's ear, subtly denting his confidence, convincing him that no one but Zach could ever love him, or care about him, or want him. He taught Castiel not to trust anyone, and when his parents started to question whether the relationship between them was healthy, he tried to make Castiel see that he couldn't trust his family either. But one night when he was sixteen, his parents staged a form of intervention, sitting him down and carefully talking Castiel through their concerns over the relationship with the older boy. They helped him to see something that he already knew, deep down, if he was honest with himself. Zach wasn't good for him. In the space of a few months he'd gone from being a vibrant, outgoing, loving son, to being a shadow of himself, shy, scared, unable to stand up for himself. After sobbing into his mother's arms and wondering how he didn't see what was happening to himself, he made the decision to break it off with Zach.

Zach did not take the decision well. He threatened, he pleaded, he attempted to manipulate Castiel. But, bolstered by his parent's love and encouragement, Castiel stood firm. It was over, he never wanted to see Zach again, and Zach would do well to stay away. When all of Zach's tried and tested manipulations didn't work, he used his fists. Battered and bloody, Castiel knew more than ever that he was making the right decision. He walked away, and his mother patched him up, with reassuring words and loving embraces.

A few days later a dozen roses arrived at the Novak home, addressed to Castiel. The card begged for forgiveness. Castiel's father dumped them in the trash, and sat with Castiel as he cried for hours over the loss of the man he thought had loved him, the end of what he believed was a loving relationship, the guilt over what he'd put his family through and the understanding of the nightmare he'd escaped from. A week later another dozen arrived, this time with the heads cut off. There was no card this time, but there was no question over who they were from. Castiel's mother encouraged him to report it to the police, and so he did. They were generally non-committal, telling Castiel to stay away from Zach, and to report any other incidents. The guy had no history, at least nothing on record, and technically, sending flowers wasn't really an offence, even flowerless flowers. This was long before any kind of laws against stalking came about.

Castiel's dad once again dumped the flower stems, and together with his wife, they comforted Castiel through the pain. For a couple of weeks everything was quiet, until one afternoon Castiel got home from school, with Anna in tow, to find a large box waiting for him on the porch. Understandably nervous, he sent Anna upstairs, before toting the box to the kitchen and carefully easing the lid open. One look at the contents and he ran to the sink, vomiting up everything he'd eaten that day. Shaking, he cleaned himself up, and braced himself to look again. Inside the box was the next door neighbour's small terrier dog. Or at least Castiel thought it was Mrs Jameson's pup, the animal was in several pieces so it was hard to tell. Pinned to the underside of the lid was a note, which simply said, 'Come back and I'll forgive you. Keep this up and your family will be next.'

Castiel buried the box and it's contents in the garden, note and all. He couldn't face telling his parents, they'd been through so much with him already, he was humiliated at what a bad choice he'd made, and he definitely couldn't deal with telling Mrs Jameson about what his sick ex boyfriend had done to her beloved dog. So, he buried the evidence and prayed that Zach wouldn't go as far as hurting his family, and for several weeks it seemed like his prayers had been answered. No more mysterious packages, or silent phone calls, and Castiel slowly returned to being the person he was before he started dating Zach. Until one night that changed everything.

Castiel woke in the early hours of the morning, feeling like he couldn't breathe. There was smoke coming under his bedroom door, and the air felt dry and hot. Choking, Castiel threw open his bedroom window, and breathed in cool night air, trying to make his brain work, to understand what was happening. There was a fire, the house was burning, and once his brain shuffled the deck to provide the right information, Castiel had to work hard to stop his panic taking over. Grabbing a towel, he threw open his bedroom door, to be greeted with flames. Sobbing, he slammed the door shut again and threw himself back to the window, desperate for air.

He needed to get to Anna. He'd promised his mother he'd protect his sister. Gulping in clean air again, he wrapped the towel around his face, and pulled the door open again. He crouched low, crawling along the hallway to Anna's bedroom door, breathing in smoke and choking on every breath. He finally got there, and tried to open the door, but it was jammed. He rammed himself against the door again and again, until he couldn't fight any more. The firefighters found him on the floor outside his sister's room, gasping for breath, and dragged him out. Even then he fought to save his sister, screaming at the firemen until he was hoarse to make them go in and get her, not him.

He woke up in the hospital two days later, with Zach holding his hand.

His screams of terror had brought the nurses and doctors running. When they realized the source of Castiel's distress, they hustled Zach from the room, telling the nice man that trauma after an event like this was normal, and that his boyfriend was probably disoriented. The doctor sedated Castiel, and let Zach back in. Castiel was forced to listen, unable to escape, unable to even move, as Zach rejoiced in the fact that now he'd gotten Castiel's family out of the way, that they could be together again, just the two of them. His parents had died in the fire itself, and his sweet, beautiful sister from smoke inhalation a few hours later at the hospital. He was alone in the world, and defenceless against Zach and his machinations.

Zach hovered constantly, charming nurses into extending visiting hours for him, never leaving Castiel alone as he drifted in and out of consciousness, sometimes drugged, sometimes just exhausted with grief. Eventually though he awoke to find himself alone and clear minded, with a doctor in the room, and seizing his chance he begged the doctor to call the police. Zach had burned down his home and murdered his family, and had openly admitted it to Castiel. The doctor, alarmed, but suddenly understanding Castiel's original meltdown for what it was, immediately followed his patient's request, and detained Zach in the waiting room on the pretext of discussing Castiel's future care, while he had a nurse summon the police. Cutting what in itself was a long story short, Castiel described how Zach was arrested, charged and eventually convicted of arson and manslaughter. Castiel had given evidence, looking Zach in the eye from the witness box as he recounted the fall out of the end of their relationship.

'I spent two years in foster care, although I was lucky there, and then I went to college. My parents had saved an inheritance for me and my sister, they both had life insurance too. I was the sole beneficiary because Anna was gone. I used the money to honour them, as much as I could. I put myself through college and made the best I could with what was left of me. I helped Gabe set up his business, I invested some money and I became his first rider. His parents took in their first foster son, when I got out of hospital. I will always be grateful to them for that, and to Gabe for sticking with me even when I was an awful friend. I let Zach manipulate me into abandoning him and every other friend I had, but he stuck it out, and he persuaded his parents to take me in when I had no one. He's a little odd, but he's a good, loyal man, more loyal than I was to him. So when I got the chance I repaid the kindness.'

Castiel seemed to run out of steam, and Dean looked into his long finished coffee cup, wondering what to say. He had a hundred questions swirling around his brain, and he figured he should get the toughest ones out first, kind of like ripping off the band aid.

'So, Cas, what is it you see in your nightmares?' In that story Dean could pick out a dozen things that would make him scream like he was afraid for his life, but he wondered if it was something specific keeping Castiel up at night.

'Sometimes it's Anna's door, I'm pounding on it trying to get in and I can hear her screaming inside. Other times it's the firefighters dragging me away. I see my parents, burning. The dog in the box. It's a variety.'

'And last night? That one was a doozy right?'

Castiel nodded, that one was the worst of his nightmares.

'I was sedated in the hospital bed, listening to Zach tell me what he'd done. Over and over. I couldn't get away from him, I couldn't wake up, and he just kept going over it, and telling me how happy we were going to be together when he took me home.'

'Ah. Yeah, I can see why that would scare the shit out of you.'

'Understatement.'

Dean took the empty coffee cup from Castiel's hands, setting it with his own on the nightstand.

'Cas, the fact that you survived that at all is incredible, I can't imagine what you went through. That you put the bastard away too, that was incredibly brave.'

Castiel carefully studied the emotions on Dean's face. No pity, and definitely not revulsion. There was some worry, for sure, and wonder, and something that looked like pride. Dean was proud of him? For getting his entire family killed?

'Brave would have been stopping him before he could hurt my family. They were killed because of me, because of what I did, what I didn't do.'

'You fell in love with an emotionally manipulative man, at the age of fifteen. You were a kid. You can't judge your teenage self as if they were an adult. You certainly can't expect your teenage self to defend himself against stuff like that. There's plenty of grown adults who've been sucked in by people like Zach. You put him away, which meant he couldn't do that to anyone else. Mourn your family, you have every right to that, but remember that you did what you could to stop him hurting anyone else.'

Dean took Castiel's hands in his, studying them, imagining them pounding on a door to save his sister, and he thought about what he might do for Sam in that situation. Anything. To protect his brother, he'd burn heaven and hell and everything in between. And then Dean had a thought and groaned at his dumb ass mouth. Castiel looked at him, confused.

'I guess I owe you an apology. That dumb crack about ex stalkers showing up here? That one was a bit too close to home I'm guessing?'

'You weren't to know Dean, it's not like that kind of thing happens a lot, thank god. But yes, I'm not going to lie, that one was a bit rough. I didn't handle it well, I'm sorry.'

'Hey, you have nothing to apologize for. I'm an idiot who doesn't know when to shut up.'

Castiel squeezed his hand.

'One of the things I like about you Dean, is the fact that you don't treat me with kid gloves. After the fire, Gabe's parents were wonderful, but I caught them looking at me like I was broken. I could see how badly they felt for me. Teachers, counsellors, they all pitied me. Gabe didn't. He just carried on, endlessly, relentlessly, whether I wanted him to or not, and he dragged me out of my grief eventually. You, well you've never tried to treat me with kid gloves, even in the hospital, you didn't take any shit, and you didn't feel sorry for me.'

'Hey, I felt sorry for me, you hurt my car! And then that damn nurse tricked me into being nice to you.'

Castiel laughed, and Dean breathed a little easier.

'Well don't feel you have to be nice to me, I wouldn't want to put you out, it's not like you inconvenienced me at all when you broke four of the bones in my body.'

'Hey, you make out fine. You even got two coffees in bed this morning. And besides, you've kind of grown on me.'

With that last statement Castiel noticed a touch of pink warming Dean's cheeks. He tugged on the hand Dean was still holding, pulling Dean close, manoeuvring his arms until he was sort of hugging Castiel.

'Would you like a hug, sunshine?' Dean's voice was full of laughter, but he eased his arms firmly around the smaller man, holding him close, in an almost identical pose to the way he'd held him last night. Castiel just melted into his arms. He felt ten pounds lighter for telling his story, and better still when Dean reacted the way he did. Dean murmured into the top of Castiel's head.

'Just so you know. I think you're incredibly brave, and I think you went through something that no one should have to deal with. I'm not a sappy guy, so don't expect me to say this again, but, if your nightmares wake you, I'll be here. If your screaming doesn't wake me, you can come and find me if you need me. Wake me up, I don't mind. I'll be here, for you.'

Castiel thought Dean was probably a lot sappier than he cared to admit. He could still hear Dean crooning and murmuring to him, to settle him after his nightmares, and he was pretty sure Dean had called him baby as he rocked him. But Castiel wasn't going to dent the man's pride, and so he took the statement for what it was, resting against the man's broad, powerful chest, as he wondered if they could just stay in bed all day, wrapped together like this.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do You Want To Know A Secret? - The Beatles


	13. Say It Ain't So

Two weeks after the accident that brought them together, Dean and Castiel were back in the hospital. This time was a much more brief visit though, after a battery of xrays Doctor Moseley declared Castiel to be healing nicely, and encouraged him to continue taking it easy, especially on his ribs. The bruising had almost completely cleared now, but they were still painful, and the risk of a chest infection or other complication was still there. Once she pronounced herself satisfied, she gave Castiel a card for an appointment in two weeks time, and shooed them from her office. On their way out they chatted briefly with Nurse Fuller, who was pleased to see Castiel up and about, and even more pleased to see that Dean was still caring for him.

On their way home they swung by Castiel's house to collect the mail, water the plants, and generally make sure the place was still standing. As Dean worked his way around the small jungle Castiel had cultivated, watering can in hand, he saw Castiel sitting on one of the little benches in the hallway, looking up at the stairs, lost in thought. Dean set down the watering can and came to sit beside him. He gestured to the stairs Castiel was apparently trying to frown into submission.

'You want to give it another try?'

'Yes. No. Yes. I don't know.'

'It was a simple question sunshine, one answer is usually enough.'

Castiel looked at the crutches he held in his hands. The question may be simple, but the answer wasn't. He was pretty sure he wouldn't make it up the stairs, but a big part of him needed to try, to prove something to himself and to Dean. He was tired of being an invalid, and the next four weeks stretched long in front of him. The doctor had said he was healing, at a nice, normal rate, and that it was unlikely the cast would be coming off early, despite all of his hopes that his body might have performed a miracle for him. Plus he could still feel the pain in his ribs, he knew he wasn't fit yet. One thing being a bike courier had taught him was to understand his body and it's hurts, it could be a brutal job at times, and he had a good understanding of his strengths and limits. The stairs were still beyond his limits, but it wasn't in his nature to give up. There was the yes and the no in his answer.

Then of course, there was the question of what happened if he made it. If he pushed his body past it's limits to prove a point, what damage might he do to himself and his recovery? Would Dean expect him to come home? Could he cope alone? Did he even want to come home? The kiss they shared had been wonderful, and there was no doubt that an affection was growing between them, punctuated with biting sarcasm and horrific nightmares as it was. The way Dean comforted him through his nightmares was incredibly seductive to Castiel, the thought even now of waking from that horror and finding himself alone felt bleak. Dean hadn't pressed the nature of their relationship though, and nothing significant seemed to have changed, despite his confession. After he'd told his story they talked for a while, curled together in Castiel's bed, and then they'd gotten up, Dean had made breakfast, everything seemed normal. Last night they'd slept separately, Dean pressing a chaste goodnight kiss to his lips, and Castiel had made it through the night, nightmare free. So much seemed unknown at this point though, and Castiel couldn't remember a time when he'd let a relationship get this far. He was in foreign territory literally and figuratively, living in a strange place, unsettled by his injuries and the loss of freedom they caused. Unsettled by the affection he had for a man who was a stranger until he ran him down in the street. Unsettled by the fact that he wanted this. There then was the indecision in his answer to Dean.

As if he read his mind, Dean nudged his knee gently.

'You're thinking too hard about this. I'm not going to think any less of you if you're not ready. Your body is healing but it's gonna take some time. You need to accept that. Let it go.'

Let it go. Could he do that? Let go of his fear, his insecurity, the points he needed to prove, his drive for independence? Could he let go of his irrational worry that any man he loved would turn out to be Zach, or worse, that Zach would somehow hurt any man he loved? Was it possible to just let all that go?  Where would he even start? Castiel looked at Dean, warm, vibrant, alive, and knew, suddenly, with a certainty that had never been present before, that if it was worth trying for anyone, it was worth trying for him. Castiel nodded, feeling decisive, and emboldened.

'Let it go. It's not in my nature, but I can try.'

He scrutinized Dean for a moment, and then reached out to the beautiful man, pulling him in for a kiss, trying hard to somehow express everything his mind had concluded, how monumental this was for him. He felt hands tangling in his hair and hummed into the caress, as Dean tilted his head for a better angle, deepening their kiss. Castiel's crutches hit the floor with a clatter, and he smoothed his other hand up Dean's chest, measuring the roll of the muscles there, the heat of his body. Dean's hands moved through his hair, Castiel almost purring at his touch. Dean's lips were soft as they moved against his own, and he tasted of coffee, and breakfast, and something else which was just, somehow, essentially, Dean. A tongue flickered against his lips and he opened, tangling his own with it as Dean explored his mouth. A groan vibrated through their lips, Castiel wasn't sure who's voice it was, he was lost to the sensation.

When they finally pulled apart, Dean was panting and Castiel was shaking a little. Dean broke the kiss but kept his face close to Castiel, his fingers still caressing his scalp through his hair. Through half shuttered eyes, he gazed at the man who moved like a cat under his touch, smiling softly. Dean had the impression that Castiel's last statement referred to a lot more than whether or not he was ready to climb his own staircase. Dean had no idea how to help a man like Castiel, with the kind of grief and trauma he'd been through, but he could now see, at least, why he had such an abrasive personality, and why he wasn't big on personal relationships too. Dean wasn't going to push anything onto the man that he didn't clearly want, and yet, he wasn't going to give up either. For the first time in a long time, he thought that he'd found someone with whom he had a real shot at happiness. Dean was about as far from the monogamous, settled down type as you could get, but if Castiel was willing to try and let it go, then Dean was willing to try too.

'Alright Cas, hows about I finish watering your tropical rainforest, and then we go home and watch movies on my couch? Have you ever seen Star Wars?'

Castiel grinned and shook his head. He knew what was coming. Dean was generally appalled at his lack of knowledge of popular culture, and so he would most likely spend the afternoon lecturing Castiel on the importance of the Star Wars trilogy, and it's myriad of characters as they worked their way through the movies. Castiel hadn't been living under a rock, he'd heard of the movies, he understood their significance in modern culture, he'd just never gotten around to watching them. But watching Dean bloom with passion as he talked about his favourite movies seemed like bliss to Castiel.

'Sounds great. Off you go then.' Castiel waved at Dean, and pointed to his still thirsty plants. 'Don't forget the herbs in the kitchen.'

'Slave driver,' Dean muttered, but with no malice, and he hummed the Imperial March as he tended to Castiel's plants. They gathered up Castiel's mail and some books he wanted, and made their way home.

* * * * *

They got all the way to 'No, I am your father,' before Dean shot upright from the couch, as if he'd been poked with a lightsaber.

'Crap!'

Castiel was jostled from where he had been leaning against Dean, falling into a sort of slump, and he winced as the sudden movement reminded him that his ribs were still busted up. Dean noticed the grimace of pain as Castiel struggled to make himself comfortable again, and he moved to help the man, settling him upright again, brushing his hands over Castiel's arms.

'Sorry, crap, sorry, did I hurt you?'

'No, I like being thrown practically off the damn couch. Keeps the movie interesting. What's the matter? '

'Sorry man, I wasn't really thinking. Vader just reminded me, I didn't go see my dad last weekend. I forgot, I was so busy looking after your ass, and I haven't been this weekend either. He's gonna be so pissed. Crap, crap, crap.'

'Oh, oops. Is it too late to go now?'

'No I guess not, but I don't want to leave you here on your own, what if you fall over or something? You wanna come? Actually no, scratch that, you don't want to see him in a temper.'

'I can come if you want, I'm a big boy, I can take a grumpy old guy bitching at me.  I'm staying with you aren't I?'

'Funny sunshine, you're funny.  I can go on my own, don't worry.  But will you be OK here without me?'

'How long will you be gone?'

'I dunno, depends how how mad he is at me. Couple of hours maybe?'

'I think I can sit on the couch and watch movies for a couple of hours without getting into any kind of mortal danger.'

'You sure? You're kind of good at getting into accidents.'

Castiel ignored the comment and nodded.

'Alright, look, I'll set you up with the last movie, and then I'll head out, hopefully I'll get back before it all kicks off with the Ewoks. If you need anything you can call me, I'll come straight home.'

'Don't worry Dean, I'll be fine.'

'You better be, if I find you've broken the golden rule I'll kick your ass.'

Castiel laughed as Dean grabbed his keys and his jacket, and then he was gone, the sound of the Impala heralding his departure. Castiel looked around the small lounge, he was alone, completely alone, for the first time in two weeks. There were times in his life where being forced to spend so much time with another person would have driven him crazy, but now he found that the house felt empty. Suddenly the empty house didn't so much represent glorious solitude, but loneliness. Castiel contemplated again how Dean had managed to get under his skin so quickly and so thoroughly. Looking around the room, he thought about what this place told him about the man who was now his room mate, and perhaps more. While small, the place was neat, the couch wide and comfortable, the TV set up ideal for movies, with a surround sound system that made the most of the sound effects in the Star Wars movies. Bookshelves held dozens of paperbacks and DVDs, they told Castiel that Dean's tastes varied wildly, running the spectrum of fantasy, sci-fi, horror and classics. Records stood on a shelf under an old record player, which was cleverly linked up to the surround sound, making the classic rock Dean preferred really come alive when played loud. Castiel could see that Dean was a smart, resourceful, imaginative man, which was nothing he hadn't already learned from spending time with him. He smiled though, as he hit play for the movie, watching the iconic graphics scrolling the introduction to Return of the Jedi. What he knew of the man, and what he could glean from this room, told him that Dean was also an open book, honest and genuine, with nothing to hide. All together it told Castiel simply that Dean was a good man.

Dean returned in time to see the final scenes of the movie. Relieved to see his charge was still in one piece and upright, he pulled two beers from the fridge, and on his return to the living room he offered one to Castiel, resuming his spot on the couch. Rather than opening his though, he simply looked at it for a moment.

'How was your father?'

Castiel could see that Dean was upset, the visit apparently had gone badly, but Castiel wasn't sure what that meant. Dean had described fighting with his father before, so Castiel had no real frame of reference for what their relationship was normally like. Dean sighed and twisted the cap off his bottle, taking a long swallow. Castiel watched his throat work, waiting for Dean to talk.

'He was pissed, because I hadn't been by to see him. Someone told him about the accident so he was pissed about that too. Plus Sammy hasn't been by in weeks so he laid that on me too. Mostly though he was drunk, kept going on and on about responsibility, making something of my life. Like always.'

Dean looked weary with misery.

'Doesn't seem right does it? You loved your parents and they loved you. I know you'd give anything to get them back, I lost my mom and I miss her all the time. But my dad, he's still here, and somehow we can't even get along for two hours a week.'

'Do you get along when he's sober?'

'Hard to say, it doesn't really happen that often. He was different when mom was alive, but after she died he fell apart, started drinking, and he never stopped. He left me to look after Sammy a lot, for days and weeks at a time, which is why I would up working for Bobby in the first place, so I could feed the kid. Sam hates him, thinks he's a no good, let down, waste of space. But he doesn't really remember what dad was like before, he was just a little kid when mom died. To him, dad's always been like this, so I guess I can't blame the kid for hating him.'

Castiel didn't know what to say, so he just pulled Dean into a hug.

'Dad doesn't get it though,' Dean continued, from where his head lay against Castiel's shoulder. 'I know all about responsibility. I practically raised Sam, I worked my ass off to make sure he was ready for college, did his homework with him every night, packed his lunches, everything. I even sent him money when his scholarships didn't cover his college costs, and it was worth every hour of overtime and every penny, because look at him. He's doing so well, I'm really proud of him. Even if he is terrible with women.'

Dean paused, a wry smile on his face.

'On top of all that I worked my ass off again at Bobby's place to learn the ropes, and to not just screw up everything I touched. Bobby's been teaching me the business side of things too, recently. He's talking about retiring and he's got no kids, so one day he wants me to take over the place. I know I have a future there, something to work for, and I'm happy with that. I worked hard to save enough money to buy this place. I know it's not much but it's mine, and my responsibility to care for. I look after that car like it's my own child, and now? Now I'm looking after you too. So I know about responsibility, I'm managing my responsibilities just fine.'

He pulled away and looked Castiel in the eye as he smiled shyly.

'Not that I see you as a responsibility, but you know, I made a promise and I'm keeping it, and I hurt you and I'm making that right. I don't want you to think you're a burden though, something to be managed, because that's not it at all, I actually quite like having you here, so...' Dean trailed off as he lost his thread, and blushed a little.

'I know what you mean Dean, don't worry. You told me you were a man of your word and I can see that.'

Dean relaxed a little, and Castiel continued.

'Do you ever think though that your Dad's problem isn't with you, it's with himself?'

'Huh, how do you mean?'

'Well he's shirked his responsibilities to you and Sam almost Sam's whole life. He started drinking after your mom died, and let you both down. Maybe he's angry at himself over that and he's lashing out because he can't deal with his own guilt, his own issues. It's a vicious spiral.'

Dean considered this idea for a minute.  He'd spent so long fighting with his dad, he'd never had the energy to try and empathize with the man.

'Damn Cas, I never looked at it like that before. I guess that might explain the drinking too, to some extent. Why didn't I see that? Why did I just fight with him?'

'I think it's hard to have perspective when you're in the middle of something, especially when it's something you're emotionally involved in. Don't beat yourself up, it's a new perspective maybe, but I'm not sure what you do with it, or how it helps. Seeing why someone does something doesn't necessarily make what they do any less unpleasant. And it doesn't excuse how they behave either.'

'True, he'll still be a belligerent drunk, whatever the reason for it. I'm going to talk to Sam though, maybe we can figure out a way to help dad, between us. Thanks, you've given me a different way to look at things, at least.'

'You're welcome, glad I could help. It's the least I could do after the terrible burden I've been on you.'

'Not funny asshole.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Say It Ain't So - Weezer


	14. Kiss You All Over

On Sunday morning Dean woke Castiel with coffee, and received his customary joyful morning greeting from deep under the covers.

'Go 'way.'

'Get up sunshine, make the most of it. No coffee tomorrow, unless you want it at 7am.'

Castiel groaned.

'Come on, up and at'em. We've got stuff to do today.'

'What stuff?' The reply was still muffled by bedding but the mound Dean assumed was Castiel was moving slowly.

'Well, laundry for one, I have nothing to wear to work tomorrow, and you seem to have stolen all of my favourite t shirts. Plus Sammy's coming over tonight and that means you have to cook dinner, so we need to go grocery shopping if you're up to it.'

The cover flopped down, revealing bed hair and a scowl.

'Me? Why do I have to cook dinner?'

'Because I'm going back to work tomorrow.'

Castiel's sleep fogged brain tried to follow Dean's logic and failed.

'Huh?'

'Very eloquent sunshine. I have to go back to work tomorrow, so, I need to be sure you can feed yourself and manage in the kitchen without breaking the golden rule. So you're going to cook dinner tonight and I'm going to watch. And maybe help, depending on how terrible of a cook you are.'

'Huh,' Castiel ventured again. 'That actually made sense. Who are you and what have you done with Dean?'

'Shut up, I know what I'm doing.'

'Right, sure you do.'

'I do. And if you give me any more of that mouth, I'll make sure everyone at the grocery store knows that you broke your leg in a horrific amateur porn stunt gone wrong. Maybe with a sex swing. And a chicken.'

Castiel pulled himself up into a sitting position, and dragged a hand through his hair, which did nothing to control the riot it was having on his head.

'What? How would that even work? You're absurd Winchester.'

Dean just grinned, as he handed Castiel his coffee. Castiel sipped it and sighed, he would miss this tomorrow. Already fending for himself looked daunting.

The grocery store was surprisingly fun. They rented a wheelchair for an hour, and had fun loudly making up ridiculous reasons for Castiel's injuries, as they made their way around the store. By the time they got out again, Castiel's ribs were sore from laughing at the looks the other shoppers had given them. Dean was almost in tears, he was laughing so hard.

'Man I can't believe you told the cashier I threw you down the stairs. We don't even have stairs. Her face was awesome.'

Castiel had a way of deadpanning that meant that people were never sure whether to believe him or not, and it was only Dean's laughter that gave them away. Fortunately the cashier had found it funny.

Back at home, Castiel sat at the kitchen table emptying grocery bags as Dean put the items away. It was a good system, and they were efficient together. Dean gathered laundry from both their rooms, sorting it and setting the first load running, and then they went over what Cas was going to cook for dinner as Dean made lunch for them both. They'd found some decent looking steaks at the supermarket, so Castiel was going to grill them, and serve up some baked potatoes, grilled asparagus and a salad. Simple enough but good food, and hopefully nothing that would give him too much of a mobility challenge. With beer and an apple pie Dean had insisted upon for dessert, it would be a feast.

When Sam showed up Dean opened the door with an arm full of clean laundry, which he hustled to put away for himself and his housemate, and Castiel was sitting at the table chopping ingredients for the salad. The steaks were marinading and the potatoes were in the oven. Sam was amused by the picture of domesticity the two men presented.

'Hey Cas, is Dean making you cook? You're supposed to be taking it easy.'

'Try telling him that, your brother is relentless, he dragged me around the grocery store this morning too.'

'Dean, you're not taking good care of your guest here.' Sam admonished as Dean came into the kitchen and handed out beers from the fridge.

'Come on Cas, you didn't even offer my brother a drink, what are you doing? Slacking off as usual, I see. Is that salad finished yet?'

Apparently Dean had heard his comments. Castiel scowled at him and waved the knife in his hand in Dean's direction.

'Knock it off, unless you want me to add some extra protein to yours.'

'Alright sunshine, you win this one, only because you have all the weapons though. For your information Sammy, there is a good reason why I made Cas cook tonight. I'm going back to work tomorrow, and if he can't manage in the kitchen, then he can't feed himself and he's kinda screwed. So this is a test, and we just happen to benefit.'

'Dean, Cas can work a phone, he can call for takeout. You just wanted a night off.' Sam was ever the voice of reason.

'That, Sam is a very good point. No pie for you Dean.' Castiel looked at Dean, defiantly pointing at him with a stick of celery.

'Hey, you don't come between a man and his pie, that's just mean.' Dean looked genuinely distressed for a minute, and Castiel and Sam both laughed at him.

'I think that's your new secret weapon Cas, Dean will do pretty much anything for pie.' Castiel cocked an eyebrow at Sam's interjection.

'I will keep that in mind Sam.'

'Hey,' Dean was not thrilled about his brother and his house guest ganging up on him. 'Just remember Cas, with great power comes great responsibility.' he warned.

'Voltaire? Eighteenth century French philosophy doesn't seem like your kind of thing Dean.' Castiel challenged.

'What? No, you ass, Uncle Ben. Spiderman. You must have seen it?' When Castiel shook his head, Dean was not surprised. 'You're killing me man, where have you been?'

The banter continued through dinner, which was delicious, Dean wondered what Castiel had put in the salad to make it so good, and through dessert too, although Dean quieted when he got his slice of pie, which made Sam and Castiel laugh. After dessert though the conversation turned to more serious topics. Dean told Sam about his visit to their father the day before, and what Castiel had thought might be the reason behind his behaviour. Sam had never looked at the situation from that point of view either, and was brutal in his honesty.

'Dean, whatever his reasons, they don't make his behaviour right. He was a horrible dad to both of us, and neither of us deserved it. He's still a horrible dad to you and the only reason he isn't to me is because I don't see him to allow him to behave that way to me.'

'I know Sammy, I'm not saying we should excuse his behaviour, just that it's something to consider. It made me wonder if maybe rehab would be worth a shot. He'd get some proper help, not just to stop drinking, but to deal with all his shit too.'

'Maybe, dude, maybe. Would he go if we could send him?'

Dean wasn't sure, but he thought it was worth a shot, and said so.

'Alright man, but lets see what we can find out, how much it will cost, and where he'd need to go before we talk to him. No point picking a fight with him until we know what we're talking about, yeah?'

'Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.' It was a small step, to make a decision, to plan to look into options, but it lifted a small weight, for Dean. It felt right to be doing something, to make a change, hopefully a positive one, for his dad. Dean was a problem solver at heart, he was generally happiest when he felt like he was doing something productive, and his discussion with Sam definitely felt productive.

When Sam left, Dean gave Castiel a gentle hug, and a whispered thank you, before going to do the dishes from dinner.

* * * * *

Monday morning, after more than a week off work, was rough. Dean had set his alarm even earlier than usual, he had a few things he needed to do this morning, before he left. Tiptoeing around the house so he wouldn't wake Castiel, he set everything up, and then finally, stuck his head in to be sure the man was sleeping, before dropping a note on his bedside table for when he woke up, whenever that might be. He let himself out of the house carefully, and made his way to work in the Impala, still bleary eyed.

When Castiel woke up alone, to no coffee, he felt a little sorry for himself for a moment, until he spotted the note Dean had left him. He unfolded it, smiling at Dean's surprisingly neat looping handwriting.

_Cas,_

_I know you want coffee right now. The coffee maker is ready to go, just press the button and be patient. I left a cup next to it for you to use, hopefully it will mean no spilling if you need to carry your coffee anywhere._

_Next to the TV is a pile of DVD's, Spiderman is on top. Watch it. There will be a quiz later._

_I know you did fine yesterday in the kitchen, and dinner was awesome, thank you. But I left you a plate of breakfast in the fridge anyway, to save you too much trouble. Just throw it in the microwave for a few minutes._

_Don't worry about cleaning up or anything, I'll deal with it later. Help yourself to anything you want, nothing is off limits. If there's anything at all you need, call me. If you can't get my mobile, call Bobby's office, the number's at the bottom._

_I'll be home around six. Remember the golden rule._

_Dean_

Castiel laughed and hauled his duff leg out of bed, to the kitchen to see what Dean had left. He hit the button on the coffee maker and it started it's job, gurgling happily. Soon the smell of fresh coffee filled the air, and Castiel wondered if he would always associate that scent with Dean. Thanks to his bringing coffee every morning, the smell of it instantly brought the man to mind, like a Pavlovian response. Castiel laughed to himself.

Next to the coffee maker was a travel mug, with a handle and a screw top lid. The lid meant that Castiel could take his coffee into the living room, on his crutches, without throwing scalding coffee on himself. It was a little, thoughtful thing, a problem he hadn't even thought he would have, but it meant the world to him that Dean had considered that problem and found a solution. As the coffee brewed, Castiel opened the fridge and found a plate with pancakes and bacon, and smiled. Dean was a great cook, but his speciality seemed to be breakfast foods. Even reheated Castiel knew that these pancakes would be wonderful. There was a bottle of syrup sitting on the counter under the microwave too.

Castiel enjoyed his breakfast at the kitchen table, and then refilled his travel mug with coffee, screwing the lid on tight. He made his way into the living room, setting down the mug and finding a pile of DVDs just as Dean had promised. Spiderman was on top, and beneath that were a variety of Marvel and DC movies. Today's selection was apparently superheroes. Castiel grinned as he slotted Spiderman into the player and hit play, he could get used to being cared for like this.

* * * * *

Dean arrived home just after six, covered in gunk and oil, and feeling bone tired. The first thing he noticed was that the house smelled of something very edible. The second was that Castiel wasn't on the couch. He followed his nose to the kitchen where Castiel was leaning on one crutch, stirring a pot of something.

'Honey I'm home!' Dean bellowed as he stepped into the kitchen.

Castiel laughed and threw a quick glance over his shoulder as he stirred.

'I can see that. Dinner will be another thirty minutes or so if you'd like to shower, I can smell you from here.'

'Yeah, I know, it's gearbox oil, I managed to get covered in it for some reason. What are you cooking? And more to the point, why are you cooking?'

Castiel began assembling his dish, which turned out to be a lasagne. He placed it carefully in the oven and finally turned around to look at Dean, who was still watching.

'It's egg fried rice and wontons.'

'Alright asshole, I saw what it was, why are you cooking though?'

'Because it's dinner time and I thought you'd be hungry, and tired, so I figured I'd save you some trouble.'

'Thanks, Cas, I appreciate it. I am beat.'

Castiel was looking at him now, with interest.

'You do need a shower Dean, you're filthy. Do you come home looking like this every night?'

'Sometimes, not every time, I had a gearbox practically explode on me today.'

'Oh.'

'Why, does the dirt bother you? Are you a clean freak Cas?'

Castiel laughed, and leaned in for a quick kiss.

'Not at all Dean, I'm definitely not a clean freak.'

'No?' Realization dawned on Dean and he grinned. 'Oh... you like it huh? You like me dirty?'

Castiel just smiled back and kissed him again, inhaling the smells of sweat and oil and dirt. If Dean was going to come home looking and smelling like this every night it was going to drive him crazy. Dean broke their kiss with a low chuckle.

'You smelling me sunshine? Like what you find?'

Castiel responded by pressing himself bodily against Dean, wrapping his arms around the man for balance, crutch forgotten, as he kissed the taller man breathless. He practically growled into Dean's mouth as Dean brought his hands up to Castiel's back, holding him tight as they made out in the kitchen. When Castiel finally pulled away, he had smudges of dirt all over his face, and Dean thought that was frigging adorable.

'I'll take that as a yes then. Good to know.'

Castiel grinned at him, and damn if that smile didn't take his breath away. It wasn't the sarcastic smile or the one that told Dean that Castiel was up to something, or the one he used to reassure Dean that he was OK, it was a wide smile of simple, pure, happiness, that wrinkled the man's nose and reached all the way to his stunning blue eyes. Dean found himself just smiling back, goofy for a moment, holding Castiel in his arms. He nosed soft kisses across Castiel's cheekbone, and would have started making his way down his jaw, to his earlobe, if it wasn't for the damn oven timer. Dean cursed, and Castiel laughed, disentangling himself to wash his hands.

'Dean you now only have twenty minutes to get cleaned up for dinner, I suggest you make the most of it, or we might not get to dinner tonight. Which would be a shame because it's going to be delicious.'

'Oh I believe you. It smells great.' He watched Castiel slathering a baguette with garlic butter and his stomach growled.

'Right, shower. Don't eat it all without me.'

He came up behind Castiel, pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek, and made for the shower.

Dinner was, as promised, delicious, and plentiful too. Over lasagne, garlic bread and strips of zucchini Castiel had griddled with herbs and olive oil, they talked about Dean's day, how much it sucks cooking for one person, and what exactly Castiel had done to make last night's salad so delicious, a question Dean never thought he would be asking. Bacon in the dressing apparently. Dean thought he could get used to this, having someone to come home to, someone to chat to over dinner. It was easy, pleasant, and Dean hoped that Castiel felt the same.

Over the next few days Castiel got used to fending for himself, and found that actually, he could manage pretty well, provided he paid attention to his body's limits and respected them. On Thursday evening he and Dean went out for food and drinks with Gabe and Sam again, and this time Sam brought Jess, who was thrilled to see Castiel doing so well. Gabe didn't seem bothered by Jess's presence and Dean and Castiel both wondered if he had in fact been trying to hook up with Sam after all, and if not, what the two of them had been up to the previous week. As a group though they had a great time, Jess holding her own admirably among the four men. Dean could see how smitten Sam was with her, and with good reason, she was a firecracker out of the hospital and her staid nurse's scrubs. It was she who suggested shots, and when Castiel and Dean stumbled home, both were a little the worse for wear.

Dean's head pounded and his stomach roiled as he woke to Castiel's screams, but it didn't stop him from rushing to the spare bedroom. He was fairly sure that wild horses couldn't keep him from Castiel when he was screaming like that. He eased into bed, wrapping himself around Castiel, waking him as gently as he could, until Castiel was sobbing instead of screaming, a sign, Dean now knew, that Castiel was coming out of it. He held the man as he calmed, and rubbed the tears away as they fell. He'd hoped that Castiel talking about his experiences might ease the nightmares, he hated the pain he saw Castiel go through when he had one. He would do almost anything to take that pain away.

When Castiel begged him not to go, he promised he would stay the night, he murmured that he would be back in a minute, there was nothing to worry about, and gently extricated himself from Castiel's embrace. He fetched his alarm clock from his bedroom and set it up on the nightstand. He still had to work on Friday, after all.

When his alarm went off the next morning a voice in his ear groaned. Castiel had turned into an octopus in the night, and was using every healthy limb he had to hang on to Dean like a life preserver. Dean was a weak man, the hangover alone would have made him want to stay in bed, but the combined powers of the tequila monster in his head, and the man wrapped around his body were too much to resist. He hit the snooze on the alarm and burrowed deeper into the embrace, pressing his body against the sleepy form next to him, which groaned again. He luxuriated in the warmth of Castiel's embrace, and in that instant, he learned the pleasure of sleeping in. He had to drag his body out of bed when his alarm, inevitably, went off again, or he knew he would be late for work, if he even made it there at all. OctoCas fought him every step of the way, and Dean wondered if the power of his mind alone could make Friday turn into Saturday. Sadly it wasn't to be and Dean valiantly pulled himself away, pressing a regretful kiss to sleepy lips, and went to get ready for work, mulling over the changes one person could make in your perspective.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kiss You All Over - Exile


	15. Paranoid

On Saturday morning they went to Castiel's house, as they had the previous week. While Dean watered the plants and dusted anything that looked particularly neglected, Castiel worked through his week's mail. Dean was humming Smoke on the Water to a particularly pretty hanging fuchsia, when he heard a strangled cry, and a clatter.

'Did you break the golden rule again? Damn it, sunshine, what did I tell you?' Dean muttered as he made to investigate.

As Dean rounded the doorway into the sunlit lounge though, he saw that Castiel was sitting, safe on the couch, although his crutches were on the floor.

'Cas, you OK?'

There was no response. As he came closer he could see that Castiel was pale, his hands were shaking, and it seemed like he was having trouble breathing. Dean panicked, dropping the watering can, he ran to him, kneeling in front of him, gripping his arms and searching his face.

'Cas, Cas! What's wrong, talk to me.'

Castiel retrieved an official looking letter from where it had fallen onto his couch. Eyes wide with terror, he pressed the letter into Dean's hands, the paper rattling as his own hands trembled. Dean stood and took a seat next to Castiel, wrapping one arm around him and pulling the shaking man tightly to him. Dean scanned the document, frowned at Castiel and then read it again, slowly. Castiel was breathing more easily now, but soft little sobs that Dean could feel, that made his heart ache for the man in his arms. He dropped the letter on the couch and turned to face Castiel.

'I won't let anyone hurt you, I promise. I'll protect you, from him and anyone else who would even dare come for you, you understand?'

Dean's voice was rough, but he was furious. To see Castiel broken down like this brought out an anger that burned him up. Castiel took a few breaths to calm down. His rational mind knew that a lot of what he was feeling right now was shock, and he tried to get himself under control. But knowing that Zach was locked up somewhere that he couldn't get at Castiel, that had gone a long way towards giving him the little peace of mind he had, and now that was gone. Just in time for Castiel to find someone he cared about, someone to lose, someone who could get hurt.

'Dean, it's not me I'm worried about. The last time, Zach targeted the people I cared about most, the people I loved. He wanted me, it was everyone else in my life he wanted gone. And this time, that means you. Only you.'

'I can't believe they're letting him out. Good behaviour? What the hell does that mean?'

'It means he charmed them like he charmed me, and everyone else. It means that the fortune his family spent on lawyers was worth it in the end.'

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel, and for a while they just sat, minds whirling as they tried to process what the letter meant for them.  Zach was getting out of prison. Now what?

'I can hear you thinking, sunshine, don't you even dare.'

'What?'

'You're not going to do anything dumb like leaving me to keep me safe, understood?'

Castiel whipped his head up in surprise, almost breaking Dean's nose with his speed.

'How the hell did you...?'

'Because, dumb ass, it's what I would do, and you and me, we're pretty alike sometimes. So don't. Don't even think it. We're going to deal with this like smart, sensible people. We're going to call my brother, the fancy ass law degree he has will finally come in useful for something other than impressing nurses and terrorizing factory owners. We're going to set him to work, to use every and all legal ways he can come up with to keep that bastard away from us, ideally to keep him locked up where he belongs. Understood?'

Castiel stared at Dean, open mouthed, dumbstruck. He pulled himself upright from their embrace, deliberately putting space between them.

'Understood?' Dean didn't try to stop him moving away, but ran his hands down his man's arms, resting them on his forearms.

'Dean, I...' Castiel trailed off, stunned for a moment at the bravery and determination of the man before him.

'Dean,' he tried again, 'I don't want to put this on you, I might sound overly dramatic but after what Zach did last time, you could be facing a huge risk having me in your home. I can't ask you to...'

Dean cut him off. His anger was palpable, and his grip on Castiel's arms tightened as he fought to keep his voice soft.

'You're not asking me to do anything. I'm a grown ass man, and I can do what I like. I'm not letting you go just because there's a chance your bastard psycho ex can't play nice.'

'Dean you barely know me, why would you take a risk like that?'

'Look sunshine, it's been three weeks, since the crash, right?' Dean looked at his watch, and laughed harshly, 'Three weeks almost to the minute in fact. Anyway. It's been three weeks. I've spent a good chunk of every day since that damn crash with you, and I've seen you at some of your lowest points. If we'd been dating like normal people, the amount of time we've spent together, getting to know each other, it's probably enough for like, twenty movie and dinner dates like Sam and Jess are doing.'

'What's your point?'

'My point, genius, is that we might have gotten to know each other real fast, but everything I learn about you makes me like you more. Look I'm not good at talking about my feelings, or relationships, or anything like that. But I think you like me too. And I think that this thing we have,' Dean waved his hand back and forth between their chests, 'this thing that's happening between us, well, I think it could be something really good, for us both. And I'd like to give it a chance, if we can, and I'm not going to let some dickbag ex take that away before it's really started. We don't even know if he'll try anything anyway, you can't just run away on the off chance that something might happen.'

Castiel's eyes widened.

'I care about you, a lot. I like having you around. To be honest I'm kind of dreading that damn cast coming off your leg because you're going to move back in here and I'll miss having you cluttering up the place. So don't give me you barely know me as an excuse. Because I do know you. I know you're scared, and angry, and I know you're strong, and I know you're stubborn too. So be scared and angry, fine, but don't let it win. Be strong and stubborn, and stay. With me. Please?'

Tears were pouring down Castiel's face again, and he gazed, astonished at the emotion coming from Dean, who's face was a study in vulnerability, his voice was raw.

'Say something Cas. I've just bared my soul and you're staring at me like I've grown another head.'

'I want you.'

'Well that's a good start.'

'Shut up Dean.'

Dean nodded. He tended to babble a bit when he was nervous, and god knows everything he'd just said made him very nervous, so he just clamped his jaw shut and waited for whatever Castiel had to say in response to his big dramatic moment.

'I said I wasn't sure what I wanted, that night we talked, after the first time we kissed. But that wasn't strictly true. I knew what I wanted, but I was afraid. Not of you. You couldn't scare me if you tried. But of what could happen if I got too close to you. It took me a long time to learn to live with what happened to my family. I never got over it, I don't think I ever will. I definitely can't go through that again.' Castiel halted and looked into Dean's eyes, searching for something, reassurance maybe, hope even?

'You're right, I'm scared, I'm terrified. The way I feel about you, it's so unexpected and overwhelming sometimes. I feel like I've known you forever, as if you've always been here. I want us to have a chance, and I want to be with you. But I want you to be safe too, I mean it, I cannot deal with that kind of pain again, I just can't.  And if something happened to you then that's where I'd be.  So, if we're going to do this,  I need you to make me some promises?'

'What do you need?' Dean was ready to swear anything, to protect this fragile thing they had, and he surprised himself at his willingness to do that.

'Firstly, I need to you swear to me that you will be careful, and that you won't put yourself deliberately in harms way. I mean it Winchester. No dumb ass heroics.'

'I can do that, as long as you do the same.'

'That seems fair. Agreed.' Castiel thought for a moment, and then took a breath.

'I want to tell Sam and Gabe that we're a couple. I think what they've been doing is conspiring to get us together, something Gabe said the other night made me wonder. Anyway I'd rather they focused their energies elsewhere.'

'So we are then, a couple?'

'If you'll have me? With all my baggage?'

'Of course I will, dumb ass. What did I just say? Were you not listening to my big speech? Come here.' Dean pressed a warm kiss to Castiel's lips, feeling the shaking subside a little. 'OK, we can tell them. What else do you need from me?'

'I need you to warn your dad and your boss, and anyone else you can think of.  If Zach comes looking for me, or for you, through them, they need to know to call the cops, and to not tell him where we are. They, and Sam and Gabe need to know to be smart about things like social networks too, not putting pictures of us online, that sort of thing. A lot's changed since Zach went to prison. People are so easy to find now. I'm not going to hide, and I'm not going to let him stop us living our lives, but I don't think we should put ourselves at risk either.'

'Bobby will be alright with it. He keeps a shotgun at the shop. My dad will call me an idiot, but you know, he's done that before. Do you want me to tell them about us too?'

'If you'd like to, yes. But you don't have to. The reason we need to tell Gabe and Sam is because Gabe knew Zach, and he'll understand if he knows we're together, what the danger is, and well, you said yourself, we need Sam's help. He should know what he's protecting as well as what he's facing.'

'OK, I can get on board with all of that. Anything else?'

'Take me home?'

'Done. Let's go. We can call a war council from home.'

* * * * *

That evening, after Dean and Castiel talked for a long time, Dean called his brother and Castiel called his boss, they figured it would be easier to have this conversation once. Sam arrived first.

'What the hell dude, I'm supposed to be seeing Jess tonight, this better be important.'

'It is, so sit. We're waiting for Gabe, he's on his way.'

Sam sat, and shut up, instantly slipping into younger brother mode. Dean's voice betrayed the seriousness of the situation. He was worried, no, scared, about something, which in turn scared Sam, who was used to his big brother being a rock. Sam was just working up to demanding to know what the hell was going on, when Gabe showed up.

'Hello Dean-o, what's cooking?'

'Come in Gabe, grab a seat.'

Gabe handed a box to Dean, who peeked inside. Muffins. The man was a sugar addict, but hopefully they'd make this evening easier. Dean fetched beer, shoved the box of muffins open on the table and bagged the only seat left, on the floor. Castiel had the couch and Gabe next to him, and Sam had folded his ridiculously long limbs into Dean's armchair. Dean took a breath and looked at Castiel, who nodded.

'Alright, first things first, you two need to stop hatching whatever plan you're cooking up to get me and Cas together.'

Two of the worst attempts at innocent faces looked back at him, before Sam finally broke.

'How'd you figure out what we were up to?'

'I didn't, Cas did. But it doesn't matter. We, ah, well we kind of worked out for ourselves that we go together. You don't need to interfere, we got there on our own.'

Gabe grinned like it was the best news he'd had all year.

'About time too Cas, is he a goer in the sack? He looks like one.'

'Knock it off Gabe, and quit interfering in my life. It's not enough that I work for you, I nearly get killed doing a job for you and now you try to control my love life?' Castiel spoke for the first time, and though the words could be harsh, he was smiling and Dean reached up to squeeze his hand.

'Alright, alright, no more interfering. Unless he turns out to be a dick and then I get to kick his ass, right?'

'I'd like to see you try short stack,' Sam countered, always ready to defend his brother, 'Dean could flatten you, no trouble.'

'Alright alright, that's enough. That's actually not why we dragged you over here on Saturday night when you both have better things to do no doubt.'

'So what do you want Dean-o?'

'Cas, you up for this?' Dean was still holding his hand and Castiel looked down at it, taking a deep breath, and nodded, looking into Dean's eyes for fortitude, before turning to Gabe and making the announcement they had called this conference for.

'Gabe, they're letting Zach out of prison.'

Sam watched with curiosity as Gabe went white, and seemed to physically flinch.

'They can't be letting him out, it's only been, what...?'

'Thirteen years,' Castiel supplied, 'Good behaviour, and better lawyers I guess.'

'Jesus,' Gabe whistled, 'that went by fast.'

'Ah, guys, who's Zach? And why does Gabe look like he's just found out the devil's after him?' Sam was lost.

'Zach is the devil, Sam, or as near as damn it.' Gabe murmured, before heading to the fridge for another beer, muttering curses about about finding something stronger.

Castiel watched him go, and took a pull of his own beer.

'He's my ex, Sam, and, long story short, he's in prison because the house fire he set deliberately, killed my sister and my parents, when I was sixteen.'

'Novak, damn, I knew I'd seen your name, I read about your case in my criminal law section. You were a witness in the case, we were covering the reliability of witness testimony. Shit...' Sam trailed off for a moment, before ending softly, 'you were in the house when he did it. You were the only survivor. God, Cas, I'm so sorry.'

Sam looked devastated for Castiel.  The case had been memorable for all the wrong reasons, and Sam could still see the photograph the newspapers had used of a vulnerable, grief stricken sixteen year old Castiel after the trial was over. Castiel nodded, there wasn't much he could say to that. Dean just looked tired now, and as Gabe joined them again, Dean got to the point of why he'd gathered them all here.

'Look guys, the reason we asked you here is because there's a possibility this son of a bitch is going to come after Cas, or me, or both of us, and he might try to go through you guys to do it. He's had all this time to stew over it, and we don't know what he'll do.'

Castiel added his concerns. 'Zach was incredibly possessive, violent, and apparently unhinged. But he was also charming, manipulative, able to show himself as a really nice guy. Initially my parents loved him, I dated him for months before I realized there was anything wrong with him, and it was only my parents stepping in that really made me see it. When I broke up with him, he beat me, he stalked me, he killed and dismembered the neighbour's dog, and sent it to me in a box. When none of that worked he burned my home down, I was the only one to make it out. When I woke up in the hospital he was there, holding my hand. He'd persuaded the nurses to let him sit with me, he was going to take me home and everything. I was under sedation, and it was two days before I could get the doctors to call the cops. I never believed he would go as far as he did.'

Sam had gone the same shade of white as Gabe. He'd seen an overview of the case but never the details.

'I'm telling you all of this because I need you to know what he's capable of. He's not some drunk loon who's going to stand outside the house begging for forgiveness, and pissing off the neighbours. He's the kind to make sure all the doors are locked and then burn the place down, and whoever's inside can go to hell, without the neighbours ever seeing him. There's a slim chance that he's found some kind of rehabilitation in prison and he'll never bother any of us.'

Dean snorted from the floor, and he was right, it was unlikely, but Castiel continued, 'It's more likely he's going to come looking for me, and when he finds me with Dean, that puts him in danger too. We need your help, Sam, yours too Gabe.'

Sam gathered his wits first. 'Whatever you need, guys, whatever I can do.'

'Thank you, it means a lot that you'd help me, I know you haven't known me very long.'

'Hey man, Dean says you two are a thing, that makes you family, don't worry about it.'

Castiel smiled a little, he hadn't been part of a family for so long. The sentiment meant a lot to him.

'Ah guys, I get why gigantor here is helpful, legal whizkid that he is. But what do you need from me?' Gabe asked around a muffin he seemed to be trying to eat in one bite.

'First things first, I need you to take my name off anything and everything you can on the courier business, anything the public can see. Photos too. I know you use pictures of me on your fliers, but for now you're going to have to find another picture to entice the customers.'

'Done, although it's a shame, we get a lot of ladies signing up with that flier. It's those tight shorts I reckon. They don't need to know you're not swimming in their pool.'

'That explains a lot about some of my pick ups Gabe.' Castiel rolled his eyes. 'It won't be forever, I hope.'

'So what do you need me to do?' Sam wondered.

'Pretty much what Gabe said actually, this is the letter Cas got, we need you to find out when he's getting out, where he might end up, if there's any way to stop him being released, that sort of thing. Plus anything we can do to stay off his radar. We're not gonna go into hiding, but we're not going to make it easy for the son of a bitch either. Cas is going to stay here with me, at least until he gets that cast off, so that will help.' Dean turned over the piece of paper, happy to see it out of the house if he was honest, he'd been toying with burning it just to make himself feel better.

'Thanks guys, I mean it. It means a lot to me that you'll help, both of you. Gabe, you went through all this once already, you shouldn't have to deal with it again, and Sam, I just can't thank you enough.' Castiel looked exhausted.

'No problemo Cas. I'll give you a call in the morning when I've fixed the website and stuff. Try not to let it get to you, yeah? You've got us, Cas, you're not on your own, now, OK?' Gabe rose to leave, patting Castiel on the shoulder. Sam stood to follow.

'I'll get on this tomorrow, can I keep this letter for a while? If anyone asks I'm officially you guys' lawyer now OK?'

'Thanks Sammy, I appreciate the help.'

'Hey, what are family for? I'll talk to you tomorrow. Go to bed. You both look shattered.'

Sam left just behind Gabe and as he closed the door, Dean looked over at Castiel who was struggling to his feet. Sam was right, he looked beat.

'I'm going to bed Dean,' Castiel murmured.

'OK sunshine, I'll make sure the doors and windows are locked then I'm gonna turn in too.'

'Will you, ah, would you like to share with me tonight?'

The please was unsaid but Dean heard it all the same. He pressed a soft kiss to his boyfriend's lips, and nodded. 'Sure Cas, I'll be in soon OK?'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paranoid - Black Sabbath


	16. I Want You To Want Me

Dean made doubly sure everything was locked up and thought about getting an alarm for the house. And a dog, a huge dog, with big teeth. And a gun, maybe. He shook his head, he'd talk to Castiel about it all tomorrow. He hit the bathroom and then headed into the spare room, where Castiel was already sitting up in bed. With Castiel watching him he took a breath, momentarily nervous, and then thought, screw it. Looking Castiel in the eye with a smirk, he pulled off his shirt and jeans, and tossed his socks somewhere. He slipped into bed beside his man and looked at him for a second, wondering what might be about to happen, as his bravado ran out. Every time he'd come to Castiel's bed it had been in the dead of night, to comfort him through a nightmare. He'd never been specifically invited before, this was new territory for them both, and Dean wasn't sure where that put them. He gazed into pools of blue, and just waited, schooling himself that patience was important here. Fortunately for his precious ego, Castiel didn't hold back on letting him know where he stood.

'Dean, you're not getting lucky tonight.'

Dean spluttered with surprised laughter, looking at his boyfriend, his eyebrows raised. Castiel burst into laughter too, and the tension they'd both been feeling all day suddenly eased considerably as they laughed together.

'Thanks for that sunshine, good to know. Not that I was planning on trying anything but at least I know what to expect.' Dean eased an arm around his man.

'I just didn't want to confuse you.' Castiel blinked at Dean.

'I'm not confused Cas,' Dean lay down and tugged Castiel down to join him, pulling the smaller man into his arms. Between soft kisses he repeated his point, 'I'm, not, confused,' until Castiel was humming into his mouth, liquid in his arms. He pulled away gently to make eye contact, this was important and he wanted to make sure that Castiel understood him.

'I don't have any expectations here Cas, we can take all of this as slow as you need. No pressure, OK?'

Castiel's smile was soft in the light of the small lamp, and he nodded. Dean kissed him again, warm and affectionate, running his fingers through perpetually messy dark hair. Castiel sighed into Dean's lips, pressed against his chest, he could feel his heart rate slowing to match Dean's steady reassuring beat. Dean reached out to turn out the light and they drifted to sleep, tangled together.

When Dean woke early the next morning, Castiel was clinging to him like a limpet. And it was Sunday, which meant that Dean could stay in bed. Awesome. He curled himself back into Castiel and settled in for some serious sleeping in. He woke again some time later, on his side, to find a stubbled face nuzzling at his neck. He groaned as he felt his bones still full of sleep, but he rolled over to find out what the nuzzling was about.

Castiel had woken up with a glorious, gorgeous, semi naked man in his bed, and he intended to make the most of it. Pressing kisses up Dean's spine he had been working his way around to Dean's lips when the man had woken up, and this was much better, because now he could join in with Castiel's fun. As Dean rolled onto his back, Castiel almost pounced, moving over the man, pressing kisses along his jaw until eventually he found the lips he was searching for. As they kissed, he pulled Dean onto his side, taking the pressure off his ribs a little. Running his hands up Dean's smooth back, he pressed closer. Dean let out a small gasp as their erections rubbed together through the shorts they'd both slept in.

Dean made to pull away but Castiel held tight, and rolled his hips into Dean, creating delicious friction, and making Dean groan.

'Cas, ahhh, what happened to slow?'

'It's a good job you're pretty Dean.'

'What? What's that supposed, haah, supposed to mean?'

'Last night I was exhausted. This morning I'm not. And I was not the one who said we'd take it slow.'

'So what, you don't want to take this slow?' Castiel was punctuating their conversation with rolls of his hips and nibbles all over Dean's skin and Dean was going to run out of sensible things to say very soon.

'Correct Dean. Well done.' He rewarded the green eyed man with a deep kiss.

'Since when?'

'Do you usually talk this much during sex?'

'Damn it Cas, that feels so good, I just wanna make sure you want this OK? I'm try'na be a good guy here and you're making it really, fuck, really hard.'

Castiel took pity on the man and slowed his movements, Dean was beginning to whimper a little, and the slowed pace let him catch his breath.

'Since yesterday. Since you promised to protect me, and you promised everything I asked without hesitation.'

'Huh, OK. And now all of a sudden you want to just, well, you know?'

'Not all of a sudden no, Just now I'm ready to let myself have this, to have you.'

'What changed?' Dean gasped out the words as Castiel ran his fingers up the inside of Dean's thigh, and he couldn't help himself, he arched into Castiel's touch.

'Me. This is me. Letting go.'

'Oh. OK. I can get on board with that. If you're sure.'

 'I'm sure. So can we stop chatting and go back to the fun stuff now?'

'Oh sure, definitely sunshine, but don't go thinking you're in charge now.'

Dean moved Castiel deftly onto his back, leaning in over him from the side. He kissed deep into Castiel's mouth, exploring with his tongue, loving the noises Castiel made as their passion grew. Castiel relaxed into his touch as Dean dragged his lips across Castiel's jaw, mouthing hotly along the stubble which had woken him earlier. With one hand he explored the smooth expanse of chest and stomach in front of him, fluttering his fingers across Castiel's breastbone, avoiding his injured ribs. When the fluttering fingers turned into a firm, flat hand, dragging calloused across his lower stomach, Castiel groaned, his legs easing open a little, involuntarily. Dean moved down to kiss the path his hand had just taken, nibbling carefully on a sharp hip bone, and noting the sigh of pleasure he got in response. If this was what Castiel wanted then Dean would give him what he wished for.

Castiel's arousal was unmistakable through his shorts, and Dean watched Castiel carefully as he traced it's outline with one finger, before slipping that finger into the waistband to rub a small circle on the head of Castiel's cock, noting the whimper of pleasure that fell from pink lips. When he pulled his finger away it was glistening with precum and Castiel was making soft gasping noises, as he watched everything Dean did. As Dean sucked the fluid from his finger Castiel groaned and dropped his head back to the pillow.

Dean slipped more of his fingers under the waist band of the shorts and tugged on them, encouraging Castiel to lift his hips. He slipped the shorts off, careful over the cast, and then settled himself comfortably between Castiel's legs, his hot breath making Castiel's cock twitch and leak. Castiel was well endowed for sure, his cock was thick and hard, and beautiful, and Dean wanted to taste it. He forced himself to take it slowly though, teasing and licking the head, flickering his tongue around the underside, swirling his tongue around the first inch, until Castiel was demanding brokenly that he get the fuck on with it. He relented when the 'please' that followed sounded almost like a sob. He swallowed Castiel down, the man might be a good size but this wasn't Dean's first rodeo. He took Castiel deep until his nose was pressed, twitching, against the wiry hairs at the base of his man's cock, holding him with firm hands on slender hips. The last thing Dean wanted was to have the man injure himself like this.

'Fuuuuck, Dean, where the hell did you learn that?'

Castiel tangled his hands in Deans hair, trying hard just to touch, and not to push, as Dean began making his way rhythmically up and down Castiel's cock, using his tongue in wickedly glorious ways until all too soon Castiel could feel himself racing towards the edge.

'Fuck, fuck Dean, I'm gonna, I'm so close!'

Dean just groaned and tightened his grip on Castiel's hips, increasing the speed of his movement, and then Castiel couldn't hold back and he was flying, and calling Dean's name and, stars. There were stars. Dean swallowed until Castiel's cock was spent, and he gently released it, grinning as he kissed his way back up Castiel's boneless body.

'You have a foul mouth sunshine,' Dean's voice was a low husky chuckle. Castiel just groaned.

'What do you expect when you do things like that to me? Jesus, Dean, You're incredible.'

'I know.'

'You're an ass too. You know that? Now come here.'

Castiel pulled Dean close and kissed him deeply, loving the taste of his own seed in his man's mouth. He ran a hand down golden skin, making Dean gasp when he brushed over Dean's now aching erection.

'Cas, you don't have to, I don't want you to hurt yourself.'

'I might be out of shape for the more gymnastic stuff but I can do this.'

Castiel licked his hand thoroughly and slipped it into Dean's shorts, grasping his cock, feeling the heat rolling off Dean's body as he hissed into Castiel's ear.

'OK sunshine, you can definitely do that. What else you got up your sleeve, huh?'

Castiel pressed kisses into Dean's neck, nipping and licking his earlobe as he began to pump slowly at Dean's erection. Listening carefully, he twisted his wrist just so and was rewarded with another hiss, and a wet kiss on his own ear, as Dean's breathing sped up.

'Caaaas, god, that feels so good, ahhh....'

Dean twitched into Castiel as if he wanted to fuck into Castiel's hand. Castiel growled hot into his ear.

'Come on Dean, that's it, fuck, you know what to do.'

Dean thrust into Castiel's hand, acting on instinct and need and response to that incredible voice and when his hips stuttered, Castiel knew. He sped up, whispering filthy encouragement into Dean's ear.

'Fuck my hand Dean, come on, come for me, so hot like this...'

And then Dean was groaning as his release hit him hard. He covered them both in sticky fluid, and immediately felt hot and exhausted and dirty and clean and incredible all at once. He rolled on to his back, gasping for cool air. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Castiel licking his fingers clean, and he rumbled another groan.

'Keep that up and you're gonna be the death of me.'

'Can't keep up Grandpa?'

'Shush you. C'mere.'

Dean snagged last night's t shirt off the floor, and used it to clean them both off. He pulled Castiel close, kissing him softly, running his hands up and down Castiel's skin, feather light.

'So beautiful Cas.' He murmured between strokes.

Castiel just hummed into his kisses and smiled that heart stopping smile again, the one that took Dean's breath away. Dean pulled his man closer to him, tucking the dark haired head under his chin, and just let them both be for a while. He knew they'd have to get out of bed eventually, but there was no rush and it was glorious.

Eventually it was Dean's phone ringing that forced them to move, against both their wills. Castiel was pretty sure he could have laid there for the rest of eternity, swapping gentle kisses and caresses, learning the map of Dean's beautiful body. It was hard to see now, why he hadn't allowed himself to have this in the past. For a moment he felt a pang at all he had missed, but then he reasoned, everything he'd done had led him here to this moment, and so he determined that he could not regret the choices he'd made, since they'd brought him here, to this. To Dean.

Dean eased himself out of bed to attend to the damn phone, and rearranged himself a little in his shorts. Dragging one of his t shirts from Castiel's top drawer, he went to see who was disrupting his morning. Afternoon, he corrected to himself as he saw the clock on the microwave proudly proclaiming it was past one in the afternoon.

He finally found the phone and answered it.

'Dean-o, did I wake you?'

'No Gabe. How'd you get this number?'

'Cas gave it to me. Is he there? His phone seems to be dead.'

'Sure, hang on,'

Dean padded back to the bedroom, handed the phone over and went to make coffee. He looked at the clock again and then in the fridge, and thought screw it, Sammy can eat pizza tonight. He made a cup of coffee for Castiel, just the way he liked it, and one for himself. When he got back to the bedroom, Castiel was lying on his front, still nude, talking to Gabe on the phone, and Dean swept his eyes over the contours of his man's incredibly fit body. He had a sudden overwhelming urge. Setting the coffees down, he crept onto the bed, kissed his way wetly down his boyfriend's gorgeous back, and then gave his perfect ass a hard nip. Cas yelped, and scowled at Dean, who just grinned wolfishly as he settled back against the headboard and sipped his coffee.

'Thanks Gabe, I'll talk to you later. I appreciate it. No I'm not telling you that. No, or that. Goodbye Gabe.'

'Coffee, sunshine?'

'Don't you sunshine me, Winchester. What was that?'

'Sorry, I couldn't help myself, your ass is just kind of edible looking.'

'Hmmm, if you say so. Gabe now thinks we were going at it while he was on the phone.'

'That man has a dirty mind.'

'Right, and you think my ass is edible. You're a fine one to talk.'

'Drink your coffee, sunshine, you're grumpy when you don't get your caffeine. What did Gabe want?'

Castiel eased himself up to a sitting position and took the coffee Dean offered.

'He says he did everything we asked, and he's warned the other kids at the shop. Anyone who comes around asking for me is to say nothing and direct the question to Gabe. He mentioned something about Facebook, and other social media too, but I don't have a Facebook account or anything, so that shouldn't be an issue. He said to mention it to you too.'

'Cas, in the whole time you've been here how often have you seen me go online?'

'Yeah, good point.' Castiel laughed. Dean wasn't exactly technophobic, but he did prefer the old fashioned way.

'Did he say anything else?'

'Only that if I need to take more time off, it's fine, I can take as long as I need.'

'OK, that makes sense.' Dean's face took on a serious look for a moment. 'Cas, have you thought about what you're going to do when the cast comes off? I mean in terms of going home and stuff?'

'A bit. I thought I might play it by ear a bit, if that's OK? Depending on what kind of physiotherapy I might need after, and, you know, what we hear about Zach. I know I'm safer here, but that place is my home, and I put my soul into making it mine. I need to go back eventually. That's important to me. But it's not like I'll be moving to another state, it's only across town.'

'OK, we'll see what happens. It will be weird not having you here though.'

'You know you can always come and visit. Any time.'

'Don't say that, your house is gorgeous, you might never get rid of me.'

Castiel looked over at Dean thoughtfully.

'That might not be so bad Dean.'

Dean smiled and leaned in to kiss Castiel, their mouths tasting of coffee, Castiel's sweet, Dean's bitter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I Want You To Want Me - Letters to Cleo


	17. Born To Run

When Sam arrived for Sunday night dinner, he brought news, and piles of paper. He'd apparently been busy. While they waited for pizza to be delivered, he updated them on his efforts.

'So I got a copy of Zach's records and case file, don't ask how, because it's definitely not above board for me to have it.'

Dean interjected, 'Charlie? Tell her thanks.'

Their friend was something of a ninja hacker, if it was online she could find it. Sam just grinned, and carried on.

'Zachariah Morgan, charged originally with three counts of manslaughter, felony assault, and then arson, and felony animal cruelty charges for the dog. He plead out to a lesser charge for the assault, that was the charge for the injury he did to Cas in the fire, and they dropped the charge about the dog for lack of evidence. They couldn't prove it was actually him. I suspect they would have liked to charge him with a bunch more stuff looking at the file, but they went with what they thought they could make stick.'

Castiel, sitting curled against Dean on the couch, was nodding, he knew all of this. Sam said nothing about how closely they were sitting, he was just happy that his brother was happy, and Dean was, he could tell. Even with this hanging over his brother's head, Dean still seemed to have a sort of contented glow about him. In a way Sam almost envied their ability to find comfort in each other.

'Anyway he was convicted for the three manslaughter charges, the arson and the misdemeanour assault. He got ten years for each count of manslaughter and eight for the arson. He must have had incredible lawyers, though because they got the judge to award the manslaughter sentences concurrently so, he ended up being sent down for eighteen years and change.'

'His family were wealthy, plus he was young, under twenty one, and they were prominent members of the church. I think there was a deal to undergo counselling, in exchange for the lighter sentence?'

Castiel was remembering the details now of the trial, a memory he'd tried hard to wipe out. Dean felt the shudder that ran down his spine and pulled him closer. 

'Exactly,' Sam smiled grimly at Castiel. 'He was required to undergo mandatory counselling, no idea what happened in those sessions, they're not digitized, so Charlie couldn't get them. There was a psych eval in the file which came back clean, and yeah, he got eighteen years. He's been a model prisoner, no incidents of disciplinary, no trouble at all. Serves in the library and the prison chapel, no gangs, keeps to himself. They've knocked five years off his sentence for his good behaviour, and because the prison system is desperately overcrowded, and next year is an election year, so somebody somewhere wants to make it look like they're doing something.'

'He's not being released though,' Sam continued, 'he's being paroled, which is important. It comes with some restrictions. He has to find work, check in every week with his parole officer, and most importantly he's to stay away from the victims of his crimes and their families. Now Cas, that means you, but I did some checking, and because Gabe's family fostered you until you went to college, it means them too, and so, obviously, that includes Gabe. Approaching any of you will get his ass tossed back in jail for the remainder of his sentence, if not longer. For obvious reasons, Dean, it does not include you. You weren't around when it happened, you two aren't married, there's nothing legal to link you to the case.'

'Yeah I figured that would be the case. Thanks for looking into it though. Did you find anything else?'

'Well I looked into a restraining order, for you specifically, Cas, and for both of you. But Dean, you'll probably remember from last time, we had to define places where the subject couldn't go? If we wanted to serve an order on him, it would have to tell him where you lived, he has to know what parts of town to avoid after all. So that seems a little pointless at the moment. Plus it will likely get kicked out of court if he hasn't actually done anything to warrant it. Ridiculous I know, but there you go.'

'Yeah, no point giving the guy a road map I guess. Thanks Sammy.'

'No problem. I did a bit more digging, on him and on you both too, to see what he might find if he goes looking for you.'

'You the NSA now Sammy, conducting surveillance?'

'Shush Dean, I want to know what he found.' Castiel leaned forward, intrigued.

'Well I Googled you both to start with. Dean, not much came up, at all, since you're not on any social networks, or on the whole internet, apparently. Cas, you're a bit more visible, mostly though it's articles about the original case, and a couple of references to the bike shop, which will filter out as search engines update. In both cases, from knowing your address I can find your names in the public records, for the houses you own, but there's nothing to be done about that. Oh, and yeah, Cas, there's also a persistent rumour on a few message boards that you write paranormal fantasy novels under the pseudonym Carver Edlund.'

Castiel choked suddenly on his beer.

'Cas, you wanna share with the class?' Dean looked at the man in his arms, who seemed to be struggling to maintain his composure.

'Uh, no? I'm going to go with no, Dean?' Castiel wondered how to change the subject, without being too obvious about it. 

Sam cackled with laughter, 'It's true? I've read those books, they're awesome!'

Dean was just looking at him with an unreadable expression. Castiel sighed, no point pretending, he knew that Dean would work it out eventually anyway if he spent any amount of time at Castiel's place.

'It's true. I took mythology and classical literature at college, and found myself in a creative writing class as an elective to fill my credits. It turns out the two went nicely together. So yes, I've written a few novels, that sold a few copies. I'm not exactly J.K. Rowling. Didn't you wonder what I was up to on my laptop all day?'

'Well, yeah sunshine, but I can mind my own business sometimes. I figured you'd share if you want to.'

Sam interjected, 'Cas, it might be worth getting your publisher to do something to squash those rumours if they can.'

Castiel nodded. Dean was still looking at him with that same inscrutable expression.

'What is it Dean?' Castiel was exasperated.

'Well, it's just, I've read those books too, there's two right there on the shelf. But Cas, some of the sex scenes in them are pretty hot, even the straight ones. I never knew you had it in you.' Dean was grinning now, lasciviously. 'Tell you the truth I was going to bring one to the hospital to read to you when you were still out cold, but I didn't know if you wanted to hear something that steamy from a complete stranger. If I'd known you wrote it I would have gone for it, you might have woken up sooner.'

Dean was laughing hard now, gasping for air. Castiel just rolled his eyes.

'Sam, please, continue,' he groused, over Dean's laughter, aiming an elbow to the man's ribs to shut him up.

'OK guys, well the only other things I have are these, his release date is set for about three weeks from now, and it's non negotiable, signed off by the governor and everything. Zach's family must have friends in high places. And, Charlie managed to dig up a recent photograph, if you two want to see it?'

'Yeah we better had, and we should probably give Gabe, Dad, and Bobby a copy too. Sammy can you get us copies?'

'Sure. I think you should have a talk with Jody Mills too. We have no idea if he's even going to come back to the city, but it's not a bad idea for the cops to be aware of what he might do. That way if he does show, at least they'll take you seriously when you call them.'

Dean took the picture Sam offered, wondering what a monster looked like. Clad in an orange prison jump suit, the man that looked back at him was a surprise. Zach was clearly physically fit, well groomed, with short, neat, dark hair, no facial hair, and a face that wouldn't look out of place in a commercial for fragrance or menswear, all angular jawbone and full lips. It was his eyes though, that stopped Dean cold, killing the joke he was about to make about Castiel going for pretty boys. They were dark, and while his face seemed expressionless, there was an anger burning there. No way has he given up on Cas, Dean thought, heavily. He passed the picture to Castiel, who looked at it and shuddered again. Dean looked at him with concern, stroking his arm, until he looked up and nodded.

'I'm fine Dean, don't worry. It's not like I could forget what he looks like, ever.'

Dean sighed, he hated that sound in his boyfriend's voice. The fear and the vulnerability.

'I mean it Dean,' Sam continued, 'if you see him, on the street, at work, anywhere, call 911 immediately, understand? No heroics.'

'I'm not going to do anything dumb, Sam, I made Cas a promise that I would keep out of harm's way.'

Sam raised an eyebrow, as Dean looked down at Castiel. Despite their obvious clashes in personality, Castiel had somehow managed to cool Dean's head and make him think like an adult. Sam was pretty surprised.

'Don't look so shocked Sammy, I have things worth being careful for these days.'

Before they could have what would probably be described as 'a moment', there was a thumping at the door, indicating the arrival of the pizza. Saved by the bell, Dean thought wryly as he eased Castiel off his chest and got up to receive the food.

* * * * *

Over the next few days, Dean briefed his family and friends, few in number as they were. Bobby was first, on Monday morning, when Dean arrived at the auto shop for work.

'Let me get this straight. You and the boy you ran over, you two are a thing now.'

'Yes.'

'OK, fair enough. Did you ever consider internet dating rather than mowing down some guy in the street? It's all a bit cave man don't you think? Hard on the car too.'

'Yeah Bobby, I know, but look, that wasn't my point really.'

'I know, I know, I got all the rest of it. That asshole Zach shows his face in here he'll have my shotgun to contend with, don't you worry. But seriously Dean, you ran him over. How'd you get from that to holding hands and kissing?'

Apparently Dean was never going to hear the end of this.

Telling his father was even less fun, but he did catch him in one of his rare, relatively sober moods. John Winchester wasn't a fan of his son's sexual orientation, and he didn't hide it, but he still promised to be wary of handsome strangers asking for information about Dean or his new boyfriend.

Castiel contacted his publisher and she was very helpful. She offered to drop a believable rumour to the message boards with another author's name, they could always correct the misinformation later if Castiel ever wanted to publicly own his novels, and it would throw people off for now. Together Dean and Castiel talked to Jody Mills, who was as amused as Bobby about their new domestic arrangements, but she promised to keep watch over them, in return for an invite to the wedding, which didn't freak Dean out, honest. She did tell them that she was able to meet with Zach's parole officer if she felt it necessary, and should there be any trouble, she had both their addresses recorded as immediate emergency dispatch locations. Should a call come from either home, or their cell numbers, the police would be sent, no matter what was said down the phone. She was reassuring in a surprisingly maternal way to both Dean and Castiel.

* * * * *

Eventually the date rolled around for Castiel's final hospital check up. Dean took the afternoon off work, and drove Castiel to the hospital, both of them hoping this appointment was going to go well. Castiel was itching to be mobile again, his toes twitching in the cast the whole way to the hospital. With Zach's release only days away, he wanted the cast off more than ever. Plus in the six weeks he'd been relatively immobile, he could feel his fitness levels falling. He was desperate to get back on a bike.

When they pulled up at the hospital, Castiel almost bolted from the car, as quickly as a man on crutches could manage, anyway. Dean laughed as he followed up, carrying a bag with fresh clothes, including optimistically, matching socks and shoes. They checked in at the nurse's station with Jess, who told them all about her most recent date with Sam. They'd gone salsa dancing and Dean thought the image of Sam making his ridiculously long limbs form dance moves was hilarious, but Jess insisted he was surprisingly talented. Dean then imagined Jess dancing with Sam, and was laughing again at the difference in height. Doctor Moseley turned up just in time to stop him laughing his way to a heart attack.

Castiel suffered less than silently through another battery of xrays, and then they awaited the verdict. He was bouncing in his seat as he waited for the doctor to review his films, and Dean had to press a hand on his good leg to sit him still.

'Cas you're like a toddler with too much sugar in him.'

'I can't help it, I just want this damn thing gone. What's taking so long?'

'Patience, grasshopper.' Dean opted for distraction. 'What's the first thing you want to do if you get free of it today?'

'Go bike shopping.' He shot a grin at Dean and started bouncing in his seat again. He knew that the insurance money Dean claimed for the accident had come in, and since he'd fixed his car himself at no cost, he'd given the money to Castiel for his ruined bike. Castiel had protested, argued that he could replace his bike himself but Dean had insisted.

'Alright, we can go bike shopping, but only if you buy a full suit of armour to go with it. The roads in this city are dangerous, don't want you getting knocked off. Have you thought about a horse maybe, instead of a bike? Something a bit slower. You remember the Pony Express? Maybe you could do that? Less dangerous right? I bet you'd look hot on a horse too.'

Castiel looked at Dean, eyebrows raised, and laughed at the man's rambling.

'You know that those riders had to be willing to risk death daily, according to the recruiting advertisements right?'

'Oh, well in that case sunshine, you'd fit right in.'

At that point Doctor Moseley came through to call them into her office. Castiel sat, and bobbed. Dean gave up trying to get him to sit still, and just took his hand instead.

'Doc, please tell me his cast is coming off today, he's driving me nuts.'

Dr Moseley looked at the two of them holding hands together. Well wasn't that wonderful, something good coming from something bad. She smiled broadly.

'Well Castiel, I've looked over your xrays, and I'm very happy, your ribs are doing beautifully, and it looks like you have a good range of movement now, in your arms and upper body.'

'They still get sore sometimes, but not having to use crutches would make a huge difference.'

Doctor Moseley laughed. 'You're not subtle are you? Alright, I'll put you out of your misery, your leg is very nicely healed. You're going to still need to take it easy, it will take a while to rebuild the muscles in the unused leg. Cycling, _gently_ , walking and swimming are all good ways to do that. But you must take care or you'll just end up with torn or pulled muscles and you'll have to start the recovery process all over again. Listen to your body Castiel, this is not about powering through, it's about building strength gradually. Understand?'

'Yes Doctor. So, can we get rid of it now? Please?'

'Alright, alright Castiel. I'm set up in room two for you if you'd like to follow me. I assume you'll be coming too Dean?'

Thirty minutes later Castiel walked out of the hospital on his own two feet, grinning from ear to ear.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Born To Run - Bruce Springsteen


	18. Here Comes Your Man

After Castiel chose his bike and ordered it through the store, including a new helmet and some new cycling gear, since most of his had been cut up by the EMTs, he and Dean headed to his house to do the next thing on his list.

At the bottom of his stairs, he gazed up, at what had seemed like a mountain only a few weeks ago. He flashed a grin at Dean and without waiting for a word, raced up the steps, whooping as he reached the top. Dean waited for a few moments, and realized he wasn't coming down again.

'Cas?'

'Get up here Dean.'

Well OK then. Dean climbed the stairs, in a slightly less exuberant manner, and found Castiel in his bedroom, sitting on his bed, gazing out at that stunning view. Dean sat down beside him and looked out of the huge window. Castiel sighed happily, and looked around at the man sitting next to him.

'Dean, thank you.'

'What for?'

'Everything. For keeping your promise, for caring for me, for being there through my nightmares, for being here now. For running me over and meeting me, I suppose. I was so against letting someone into my life, I spent so much time here alone, looking at this view. I never knew how much I wanted to share it with someone. I don't want to be alone here any more.'

'What are you saying Cas?'

'I want to come home. But I don't want to stay here alone. I'm not asking you to move out of your place, but can we stay here sometimes and at your place sometimes?'

'Of course we can sunshine, isn't that what normal people do? The kind of people that don't throw themselves in front of moving cars to get dates.'

'I suppose so, it's been so long.'

'Cas, exactly how long has it been? If you don't mind me asking.'

'Well after Zach, there was never really anyone. A couple of one night stands, and a couple of dates that could have turned into more, but didn't. Gabe tried his best to set me up but nothing ever worked out. Because I couldn't. So no one, no one serious, until now.'

Dean moved closer until their noses were an inch apart. He stroked a hand along Castiel's jaw as storm blue eyes searched his face and looked away again, nervous all of a sudden.

'Hey,' Dean's voice was low, 'that's OK. You don't need to be embarrassed about not wanting to get hurt again. I'm just happy that you decided to risk it with me. I'll do my best not to hurt you, understand? You think we're serious?'

Castiel nodded, closing the gap between them for a lingering kiss. As they pulled apart, he smiled that wicked grin, the one that made Dean think he was surely in trouble.

'You know, I spent a fortune on this bed, it's incredibly comfortable. Wanna test it?'

'Hell yes.'

Dean pulled Castiel to his feet, tugging off the t shirt he had stolen from Dean this morning, and following it to the floor with his own. Castiel pressed their warm bodies together, kissing Dean soundly, licking his way into Dean's mouth, moaning as Dean's hands swept up his exposed back. Pulling away, Castiel hopped onto the bed, and with a cheeky grin, patted the space next to him. Dean didn't wait to be asked twice, crawling onto the bed and up, over Castiel's body, pinning him on his back, exploring his chest with lips and tongue. He fluttered his tongue over a dusky nipple, and Castiel hummed a sound of pleasure. Dean replaced his tongue with gentle teeth, rolling the nipple between his teeth, and then laving over it with the flat of his tongue to sooth the delicious pain. He moved up Castiel's chest, and found the hollow at the base of Castiel's throat, licking into it as Castiel eased his head back, exposing his throat in a submissive gesture which just made Dean want to take everything that was on offer. He sucked a mark into Castiel's collar bone, licking over the bruise as Castiel writhed beneath him, scratching down Dean's back with pleasure. Fitting their bodies together, he kissed Castiel lazily, running a hand through his hair, and felt Castiel opening his legs to wrap around him, pulling them closer together, as he sucked open kisses along Castiel's jaw.

Suddenly though the world tumbled and Dean was on his back, Castiel straddling him, grinning that grin again.

'My turn to be in charge Dean, don't you think?'

Dean groaned as Castiel ground their hips together, as he ran his hands over every inch of Dean's exposed chest.

'Damn Cas, you're stronger than you look.'

'Yes I am, now lie still, there's something I've been wanting to do for weeks.'

'Yes sir.'

'Hmmm, I like that.'

Dean had a retort all lined up but it was lost as Castiel nipped on his hip, kissing wetly towards his belt buckle. He was quick in unbuckling the belt which blocked his path, and soon he was helping Dean shimmy out of his jeans, until he was lying in the middle of Castiel's bed, clad only in a pair of tight black boxer shorts, the tip of his erection peeking out of the waist band. God he was beautiful, Castiel hummed with pleasure as he ran his fingers up and down Dean's inner thigh, getting the measure of the man who was trembling a little below him.

'You like what you see sunshine?'

'Very much, Dean.' Castiel's voice was now little more than a growl, and he smiled as Dean's dick twitched at the sound.

He leaned down to flick his tongue over the head, lapping at the precum beading there, and Dean groaned. Long fingers slipped under the elastic band, gripping Dean and jerking him off a couple of times, before pulling away to remove the final scrap of underwear. Gripping Dean's hips, Castiel licked a long, flat stripe up the underside of his cock, all the way to the tip, before closing his mouth around the tip itself and swirling his tongue around it. Dean tasted of sweat and salty sweetness, Castiel had been dreaming about this feeling for weeks, and now he had Dean right where he wanted him. Dean's groans were becoming broken, and he twitched under Castiel's hands, wanting more, begging for more with his body. Castiel swallowed him down as far as he could, using his hand where his mouth couldn't reach. Slowly at first, and then quicker, he sucked Dean's cock, slipping up and down on his length, soaking it with his saliva. Fingers tangled with his on Dean's hip, and Dean's groans turned to gasps as Castiel hollowed his cheeks, swirling his tongue around Dean's heavy cock. He felt Dean twitching and he could hear the gasps turn to keening, and Dean suddenly gasped his name.

'Cas, Jesus, I'm so close man, ahhhh, haaaah...'

Castiel kept going and felt Dean tense beneath him as his orgasm racked through him, emptying into Castiel's mouth and throat. Slowing his movements, he sucked Dean through it until his breathing eased and his cock began to soften. Castiel wiped his mouth as he made his way to Dean for a deep kiss.

'Y're good at that. Can do that again, any time you like, no need to wait any more.'

'I'm glad you enjoyed it.'

'Cas?'

'Mmmm?' Castiel was nibbling behind Dean's ear, wondering what his refractory period was like.

'Want you. Want you so bad, you know what I mean?'

He pulled up and looked into hooded eyes, Dean looked well fucked already, but he was working to undo Castiel's jeans and pushing them off.

'Want you sunshine, please?'

Castiel didn't need to be asked a third time. He got up, shucking his jeans and shorts, enjoying for a moment how easy that was without the cast. He reached into a bedside table, and pulled out a condom and lube, before returning to the bed, and nudging Dean's legs open. The man gazed at him languidly.

'You sure Dean?'

'Yes, yes, I'm sure, please?'

He knelt between Dean's legs, pressing kisses and licks along his inner thigh, and Dean sighed happily as he lay his head back, closing his eyes in anticipation. He heard the click of the lube bottle, and then there was a slick finger circling his opening, gently demanding entrance.

'Relax,' Castiel murmured as he trailed kisses across Dean's stomach, and after a second, Castiel felt Dean follow his instruction. Pressing one finger into his hole, slowly, Castiel began to open Dean up, wrecked noises spilling from his man's mouth. One finger eventually became two, and Castiel took his time, making sure Dean was good and ready before adding a third, scissoring his fingers and brushing softly over Dean's prostate, which caused a yelp and a 'fuuuuck' from Dean. Eventually Castiel thought Dean was ready, and Dean agreed, he was begging Castiel to take him now. Castiel rolled on the condom, slicking himself with more lube, and lined himself up with Dean's entrance, clamping down on the urge to just fuck hard into the man lying open and debauched before him. Instead he breathed deeply, resting his head on Dean's shoulder for a moment before he pressed, and inched into Dean, stopping every now and then to check that his man was OK, until eventually he was fully seated inside Dean, who was hot and incredibly tight around Castiel's cock, and breathing hard.

'Fuck, Dean, god.' Castiel's head remained on Dean's shoulder for a moment as he tried to compose himself, and tried to let Dean relax around him. Pressing a kiss to Dean's ear, he pulled up, balancing on his elbows and moved to kiss Dean deeply, trying to share everything about how good this felt in that one kiss. Dean's arms were tight around him, his legs too, and at that moment, Castiel thought, two people could never be closer.

Dean rolled his hips, whining slightly and Castiel took the instruction gamely, beginning to ease out, and then back into Dean, as far as he could without untangling their embrace. Dean's head rolled back and as his thrusts grew firmer, Castiel mouthed kisses that might have been bruises into Dean's neck, feeling Dean's whole body vibrate as he groaned. Pressed between them, Dean's cock began to take a keen interest in the proceedings, hardening against Castiel's stomach as he pumped into Dean.

He could feel Dean's fingernails scratching down his back, as he fought to keep his pace even. He lost it though when Dean's fingers snaked into his hair, grabbed a fist full and tugged, hard, wrenching Castiel's head back for a moment. He yelped and slammed into Dean, who cried out, 'fuck,' and begged for more, and so Castiel began to pound into Dean, giving him everything he had, everything the man demanded with his body as well as his voice, fucking him hard into the bed. He felt Dean's hand come between them to fist his own cock and fuck, if that didn't drive Castiel wild. Murmuring into Dean's ear between his own gasps, telling the man just how hot he was, how fucking incredible he felt around Castiel's cock, he felt his own orgasm building, coiling white heat in the base of his stomach, and as he stuttered, Dean pumped his cock harder.

'Cas, god, fuck, ahhh, I'm so fucking close, please, just, ahhhh, fuck me, please, don't stop!'

Castiel whimpered, with the effort of holding his explosion back, pounding into Dean as if his life depended on it, adjusting his angle slightly, which brushed his cock over Dean's prostate with every thrust. That did it for Dean who yelled out his orgasm, calling Castiel's name like a prayer, over and over. As his body tightened around Castiel, the sight of his man falling apart tore Castiel's climax from him, wrenched it from his body, as Castiel released a litany of swear words. He slowed his thrusts, pulsing as their bodies stilled and clutched together, breathless. After a moment he composed himself just enough to carefully pull out. Disposing of the condom, he collapsed, panting, sweating, shaking, realizing belatedly that while he'd pulled his boyfriend apart at the seams, he'd done a pretty good job on himself too. Reaching blindly for the tissues on the bedside table, he cleaned Dean up as best he could, and groaned with relief when the man pulled the tissues out of his hand and pulled him close instead.

Dean looked down at the man sprawled across his chest. Castiel had fucked him like a man possessed, he was going to feel it in the morning for sure, but god, he couldn't remember the last time it had been like that for him, so hot and so incredible, so right and so necessary. He pressed a kiss to dark shaggy hair.

'So gorgeous like this Cas, all fucked out and exhausted,' he mumbled into the top of Castiel's head.

'Feels pretty good, gotta say. Don't think I've ever come that hard. You're very inspiring.'

'Huh, that's good right?'

The lump plastered against him nodded. 'S'good. All good. Really good.'

'You're repeating yourself.'

'S'how good it is.'

Dean grinned and pressed soft kisses into Castiel's hair, running a hand through it to pet Castiel, he knew the guy loved having his hair played with, and then something occurred to him.

'You like having your hair pulled, huh sunshine?'

'Apparently yes. New one on me, but yeah. Felt like an electric shock, all the way from my head to my dick. Amazing.'

Castiel was still recovering but his alertness was apparently returning. He moved so he was lying on his side facing Dean, tangling their legs together. Dean loved the honesty between them, he never had to hold back his thoughts around Castiel, and learning each other's likes and dislikes that way, open and without shyness, it was refreshing. In so many relationships he'd had to guess what his partner was thinking, what they liked or didn't, but Castiel was upfront with him, unflinchingly so sometimes.

'So how you doing Cas, any aches and pains? You gonna make it down the stairs again at some point?'

'I feel incredible. What about you?'

'Well I'm probably going to be walking like a cowboy later.'

'You do that anyway.'

'What? I do not.'

'Seriously, you do, it's all good though, it's kind of sexy.'

'You have strange ideas of what's sexy.'

'Good thing for you that they include walking like a cowboy and being covered in engine oil.'

'Yeah, that makes me your perfect guy, right?'

'I suppose it does, yes. Lucky me.' Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean, languid and slow, enjoying his delicious post sex high, and never wanting it to end.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here Comes Your Man - The Pixies


	19. Shiny Happy People

A few days later Castiel's bike was delivered, and after checking it over thoroughly, he took it out for a spin. It felt wonderful, freeing, to be back on two wheels, and though he took it easy, he knew he was going to be ready to go back to work soon, at least part time. The time off had been good in many ways, he felt happier now than he had in a long time, and certainly Dean had a lot to do with that. But he also had a new confidence, despite Zach's release being imminent. It came from opening himself up to new things, taking risks, and seeing the rewards. Despite the risks Castiel took with his body, with the way he rode, none of that gave him the same thrill as the thrill he experienced when Dean kissed him for the first time.

When he got home, Dean's Impala was parked outside, and there was something about having someone to come home to, especially someone covered in engine grease and sweat, that made him glow with happiness. Castiel stowed his bike and helmet, and ditched his cycling shoes in the porch. Padding into the lounge he found Dean on the phone, he guessed to Sam, and so he headed for the fridge, and cool water. Leaning against the sink, he drained his glass as Dean finished his call and followed him into the airy kitchen, lit by late afternoon sun.

'Cas, you and me, we need to have a talk.'

'What's up Dean? Sam OK?'

'Yeah, man, he's fine. But look, what do you think you're playing at?'

Castiel's eyes widened in alarm, he was wrong footed as he racked his brains, trying to think what he might have done to upset Dean. He came up empty.

'Sorry, you've lost me, playing at what?'

'It's just not acceptable, man. You, leaving the house, dressed like that.'

Castiel looked down, baffled for a second and then burst into peals of laughter. He'd thrown on tight black calf length cycling pants and a moisture wicking sleeveless tee, also black, also tight, for his ride. Dean was looking at him like a lion might look at an antelope.

'Something wrong with my attire?'

Dean came close enough to run an open hand up Castiel's thigh, following the curve of his hip to caress the lycra clad globe of his ass.

'It doesn't exactly leave a lot to the imagination sunshine. Were you dressed like this in the picture on Gabe's flier?'

'It was summer, so it was probably shorts, but yeah. It's practical Dean.'

Dean groaned and dropped his head to Castiel's shoulder, turning and lapping at the sweat which shone on Castiel's collar bone. Castiel pressed into him, curving their bodies together, as Dean's hands slid over the slippery material of his shorts.

'So, the problem is you like my cycling gear?'

'No, the problem is you look immensely fuckable in your cycling gear, and anyone who looks at you is going to be thinking the same thoughts I'm having right now.'

'And what thoughts are they?'

'Whether I can get those pants off, using just my teeth.' Dean made his point with a sharp nip to Castiel's bottom lip.

Castiel laughed as Dean's hands continued to roam, and he slipped his own under the hem of Dean's tshirt, feeling the stickiness of Dean's skin from his work day.

'And it bothers you that other people might look at me and think that?'

'Yes Cas, you're mine, no one else's.' To prove his point, he sucked a mark into the spot he'd been licking on Castiel's collar bone, causing Castiel to arch his head back at the sensation.

'Wow Dean, who knew you had a possessive side?'

Castiel's breath was short, Dean was pressed against him, nibbling and licking his neck, behind his ear, his earlobe, and all the while his hands were running over Castiel's ass making the most of the slippery fabric.

'Not me, not until I saw your ass in these damn pants. I don't even remember what I said to Sammy before I hung up on him. These pants are dangerous.'

Castiel hummed with pleasure as Dean ground against him, his breath catching as he felt Dean's erection through denim and lycra.

'Dean, you wanna talk about this in the shower?'

'Yes. Yes I do. That, sunshine, is the best idea you've had all day.'

'Better than the pants?'

'Second best idea.'

Castiel led the way to his bathroom, peeling off his t shirt as he went, and hearing a very satisfying groan from Dean as he did so. In the bathroom he set the shower running to warm up, and turned to Dean to help him undress, blinking as he discovered the man already down to his boxer shorts. Dean was not messing around. Crowding Castiel towards the counter, he ran his hands over every inch of available skin, as he kissed deeply into Castiel's mouth, Running his hands over that firm ass again, he followed the tight lycra down, before grabbing hold of each thigh and lifting Castiel onto the counter. Castiel let out a gasp, and wrapped his legs around Dean, who ground against him, their erections rubbing together as Dean grabbed Castiel by the hair. His growl in response echoed around the steamy bathroom.

Wasting no time, Castiel reached down and freed Dean's swollen cock, and then his own. Reaching out blindly, he found lotion and coated his hand with it, before gripping their cocks together. Dean, still with one hand laced in Castiel's hair, used his other to hold them tight together as Castiel began to pump their cocks. There was no gentleness here, and Dean's pants turned into gasps and moans as Castiel set a punishing rhythm, taking them both hurtling towards oblivion in mere minutes. Dean kissed and licked and bit, anywhere he could get his mouth on skin, his hand in Castiel's hair tugging back sharply occasionally to expose smooth neck, and make his man moan with pleasure. Castiel's colourful selection of swear words turned into one word, 'fuck,', repeated over and over, as he felt his orgasm growing. He came hard and fast, crying out Dean's name, and through the haze, he felt Dean buck against him, until he too was spilling over Castiel's hand and stomach.

Their breathless pants sounded hollow as they came down together, still locked in each other's embrace, steam clouding the room.

'Couldn't wait for the shower.' Castiel's voice was almost hoarse. Dean loved how vocal he was during sex, it made figuring out what the man liked and disliked easy, but wow, he was loud sometimes.

'Disappointed?'

'Not in the slightest. That was fun.' Castiel leaned in and licked at the hollow of Dean's throat, which was salty and hot. Dean hummed, leaning his head back as Castiel explored his throat with his tongue.

'You going to clean me like a cat? Or should we get in the shower?'

Castiel looked at him with a glint in his eye, as if he was weighing his options.

'Shower.'

Dean stepped back, and shimmied out of his shorts, and then slipped his hands under the waistband to slowly peel those damn pants off his boyfriend. Finally naked, they stepped under the spray from Castiel's huge shower head, letting the warm water rinse the intermingled sweat and semen from their bodies.

Lobster pink, they eventually made their way out of the shower, wrapped in fluffy towels. Dean silently blessed the modern hot water heater Castiel had installed during his renovation of the place. As he leaned back on the bed, Dean watched Castiel towel off, and then had a thought.

'Hey, Cas, this might sound like a strange question.'

'If it's 'will you please wear those pants in bed,' the answer is no, Dean.' Castiel's voice was muffled as he rubbed his hair with a towel.

Dean laughed. The last few nights they'd both slept nude, summer was coming and the nights were warm.

'No, man, I'm happy with your bed time wardrobe.'

'So what did you want to ask?'

'Uh, well, I was wondering, would you like to go out for dinner with me?'

Castiel dropped the towel, his hair pointing in a hundred different directions. He hadn't expected that.

'You mean, like a date?'

'Yeah, Cas, a date. I just realized we've been doing this thing for what, four, no, five weeks, and I haven't actually taken you on a date in that time.'

'It's true. What a terrible boyfriend you are.'

Dean scooted to the end of the bed and pulled Castiel close, looking up at him.

'You know, you haven't taken me on a date either.'

'I was injured, I have an excuse.'

'Not any more, sunshine. So what do you think, want to be seen in public with me?'

'Very much,' Castiel leaned down for a kiss, running his fingers through Dean's short damp hair. 'How does tomorrow night sound, since it's Friday night?'

'Perfect Cas, I know just the place.'

'You know Dean, there was something I wanted to ask you too.'

'Yeah, what's that?'

'Are you any good with cars?' Castiel grinned.

'No Cas, Bobby keeps me around cos I'm pretty.' Dean was intrigued.

'Well that's why I keep you around, why wouldn't he?'

'Cas, you know I'm good with cars, you've seen me work on cars, get to the point.'

'Get dressed, there's something I want to show you.'

* * * * *

Dean followed Castiel into his back garden, and down a path to a large shed he'd never noticed before. Castiel unlocked the double doors, and pulled them open, flicking a switch, which illuminated a large dry workspace, and in the middle of it a mound, covered in tarpaulin. Dean looked at Castiel.

'You own a car and you go flying around the city on a bike all day? I knew you were crazy.'

Castiel grinned and moved over to the mound, pulling on the tarpaulin to reveal the car below.

'It's a bug. You own a bug. Of all the ridiculous things to own. I should have guessed really.'

Dean mocked but he was already looking through the windows, running his hands over the tyres and wheel arches. Castiel handed him the keys and he opened up the engine bay at the back of the car. Everything seemed to be in order. A squint underneath revealed there to be no oil leaking, which was a miracle really with these cars. Dean ran a clean hand over pale blue paintwork, looking for rust bubbles, and found surprisingly few. It seemed like a well cared for car.

'It looks like it's in pretty good shape, Cas, what do you need me to do?'

'I just want someone to check her over, she's been sat here as long as I was on crutches, seven weeks now, so I wanted to be sure she was good. She's an old lady, nearly as old as the Impala. She needs looking after.'

'She?'

Castiel grinned.

'Delilah.'

'Wait a minute, you mocked my baby, and you have a powder blue bug named Delilah? You named it?' Dean couldn't decide whether to laugh or be mad. Castiel just looked defiant.

'Be nice to her Dean, she's _my_ baby.'

'Alright, alright, I know how that is. I'll have a look at her over the weekend OK? We can change the oil and filters and stuff, check the brakes and tyres. Honestly there's not a lot to go wrong in these little things, you could probably learn to do it yourself.'

'Thanks Dean, I appreciate it. I'll help if I can, if you'll show me what to do.'

'Deal, now, let's tuck her in and go make some dinner. Ridiculous car.'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shiny Happy People - R.E.M
> 
> PS I couldn't help writing my car into the story. Maybe I'll do a fic about Baby and Delilah at some point!


	20. Man That You Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kids, brace yourselves....

Early on Sunday morning Dean woke in his own bed to Castiel doing his best impression of a limpet. He was making the most of four healthy limbs to cling onto Dean, who had been woken by an annoying ringing noise, which he eventually understood to be his phone. Dean carefully untangled himself from his boyfriend without waking him, by which time the phone stopped making it's infernal noise. Dean slipped out of bed, padding into his kitchen with his phone in hand, and prodded the coffee machine to life. The missed call was from Sammy, who knew better than to call at this time in the morning, unless it was something serious. As Dean poured coffee for himself, the phone sprang to life again.

'Sammy, it's early.' Sam understood the implied warning and confirmed Dean's worry.

'It's important Dean. Is Cas with you?'

'Yeah, he's asleep though, it's eight thirty on a Sunday. Normal people are sleeping right now.'

Dean was grumpy. He'd been dreaming very pleasant dreams about Castiel and the back seat of the Impala, and he was not thrilled to be interrupted before the good part. He scrubbed a hand through his hair as he waited for his little brother to get to the point.

'Dean I called because Charlie just called me. No idea what she's doing up this early, I think maybe she was just up all night. But anyway, she called to tell me that Zach got out, yesterday afternoon. I thought you both should know.'

Dean sighed. They'd all known it was going to happen. But that didn't make it easier, and he loathed having to give Castiel the news.

'Yeah, thanks Sammy, I'm glad you let me know. I'll tell Cas, I'm going to let him sleep for a bit though.'

'Sure thing man, be careful yeah? I'll be round later for dinner. Mind if I bring Jess?'

'Nah, man, more the merrier, you know that. Might invite Gabe too, help take Cas' mind off this crap.'

'Sounds good. We'll bring dessert or something.'

There was some mumbling in the background.

'Jess says she can make a pie.'

'Sam, two things. One, that girl is a keeper. And two, what are you doing still talking to me when she clearly spent the night with you? Wait, are you calling me from bed?'

'Yeah, Charlie woke us up when she called, so I thought I'd share the joy.'

'Well, thanks for that and all, but I'm going to go back to bed now, I suggest you do the same.'

Sam laughed. 'Alright man, see you later.'

Dean hung up and shook his head, wondering how Sam ever managed to snag himself a girlfriend in the first place. He headed back to his bedroom, pausing a moment at the sight of the man sleeping in his bed. There were few things in life better, he thought, than finding a ridiculously gorgeous, six foot tall bundle of sex hair and tight muscle, lying naked in your bed. As Dean leaned against the door frame, he watched Castiel sleep. He thought about how close they'd become, and how quickly. It could be, should be, scary, but it felt right. They fit together, and it was simple, and it made Dean happy. He couldn't ask for much more than that, except perhaps for a man with better taste in cars, and even then, he secretly thought the little blue bug kind of suited Castiel. Definitely not as much room on the back seat as the Impala has though, he thought, as he abandoned his coffee and snuggled his way back under the covers and into his boyfriend's arms.

Castiel took Sam's news stoically. They knew it was going to happen, he reasoned, there was nothing they could do that they hadn't already done. The best thing to do was to get on with their lives. To that end, Castiel invited Gabe to Sunday night dinner, and while the evening started out sober, with the conversation focused on Zach, as they all explained to Jess what the situation was, the mood soon lightened and with the help of good food and plenty of beer, they were able to have a fun night. Castiel and Gabe talked about Castiel's intention to return to work in the next couple of weeks, and Sam badgered Castiel about the book he was working on. Dean told Jess stories about when Sam was a little kid, and laughed at Sam's bitchface. Jess told horror stories of the gruesome things she'd seen at the hospital, especially during her time as an ER nurse. Castiel felt like part of a family, even though only the two Winchesters were related by blood, Gabe was as good as his brother, and they were all becoming a close little group.

Initially Dean was nervous about going to work and leaving Castiel alone with Zach out there somewhere, but Castiel insisted. He didn't want Dean to use any more of his vacation time to look after him, Castiel was hoping that at some point in the summer they might be able to take an actual vacation together, and so he gently but firmly pushed Dean out of the door to work on Monday morning, and drove his little bug home, grinning at the memory of Dean showing him how to change the oil, them both ending up covered in dirt and grease as Dean guided him around the inner workings of his own car. He concluded that Delilah liked Dean almost as much as he did, she was practically purring.

Over the next couple of weeks Dean and Castiel fell into some routines. Dean tended to stay with Castiel on weeknights, but they spent most of their weekends at Dean's place, because it was closer to downtown, and thus closer to both Sam and Gabe. During the weekdays while Dean was at work, Castiel swam at his gym, or cycled, and wrote. His latest book was coming along, and he found that the combination of physical activity and writing time gave him opportunities to think about and form his character's story arcs and plan out the plot. He was pretty sure he had the ending planned, and all it took now was getting it down, out of his head and onto the page. His publisher was thrilled with his progress, and suggested perhaps he might try getting run over next time he was facing down a publishing deadline. Castiel just laughed, getting hit by a car had certainly had it's benefits.

Zach made no contact. Dean checked in with Jody, and she confirmed he'd made his scheduled check in meetings, and seemed to be behaving as a model parolee, he'd shown no indication of planning to step outside of the parole regulations. Dean and Castiel began to relax, Dean stopped looking over his shoulder at the grocery store, and began to think about Castiel's thirtieth birthday, coming up in a few weeks. He wanted to do something special, and as a surprise, he'd booked them tickets to a show, The Book of Mormon, knowing it would appeal to Castiel's vicious sense of humour. He and Sam also began researching rehab facilities for their father, still hopeful that they could help him. Dean had talked the idea through with Bobby, as well as mentioning Castiel's thoughts on why his dad was the way he was. Bobby, who'd known John a long time, figured it was as good an explanation as any, and that rehab just might be worth a shot.

* * * * *

On his first day back at work Castiel went over the scheduled pick ups and deliveries, and worked out the routes they would take. He was still supposed to be taking it easy, but his last check up had been positive and he was itching to get back to it. He chose half a dozen pick ups and drops that wouldn't be too taxing, and assigned them to himself over the course of the day, the perk of being an investor, and friends with the owner, he figured. Dean had been more worried about him going back to work than anything else so far, more because, as he reminded Castiel, there were people out there on the road who didn't look where they were going. Castiel reiterated his promise to avoid unnecessary risk, and once again, gently but firmly got his way.

He was thrilled to be working again, he loved being out on the streets of the city, and the people he met were always so interesting. Unfortunately though, he massively overestimated his fitness level, and so on Thursday when Dean texted him to see if he wanted to join Sammy and Jess for drinks, he opted instead to listen to the voice of Dr Moseley in his head that told him to take it easy. He took a long, luxurious bath to ease his tired muscles and then crashed out on his couch, planning some serious Netflix time. The bath did an excellent job of relaxing him though, and he was asleep within minutes of the opening of the TV show he'd chosen.

He was woken by his phone beeping to tell him he had a text message, and as he dragged himself upright from his slump, he wondered if it was Dean requesting a ride home from the bar he'd been planning to go to with Sam and Jess. He didn't recognize the number, and thought maybe it was from Jess' or Sam's phone. When he opened the message though there was only a picture. Of Dean's house. No words, just the shot of the front of the house, taken recently, the light was pretty much the same as the light outside his window. Castiel looked at the picture again, and spotted the Impala parked outside, Dean was home. As he gazed at the picture, still sleep fogged, and began to conclude that this was bad, and that he should probably be calling the cops, the phone beeped again in his hand, and another picture message arrived.

Castiel went white and dropped the phone, nausea rolled through him and he breathed hard to keep it under control. Shaking, he grabbed his keys and scooped up the phone again and ran for his car, thankful he'd bothered to dress after his bath. On his breakneck speed drive to Dean's he called 911 and begged them to send people to Dean's address. By the time he made the fifteen minute journey, that normally took twenty five, there were blue lights pulsing in the darkness in Dean's street, and there were people everywhere. He abandoned his car as close as he could get to the house and flew past the barricade placed there by the fire department, racing to throw himself into the burning building to get to his boyfriend. He was caught by a fireman who insisted that he needed to keep back. Castiel fought hard, Dean was inside the burning house, and all Castiel could think about was getting to him. He was frantic, screaming Dean's name over and over, desperately trying to escape the now two firefighters who struggled with him, why couldn't they understand, Dean was in there, he needed to save his man. It took them both to hold him back, as the rest of their team fought the blaze.

Even standing where he was, held back by the firefighters, Castiel could feel the heat of the blaze searing his skin and he sobbed at the thought of Dean trapped inside. His memories of the original fire mingled Dean's face with Anna's to the point that he was almost delirious, reliving the fear and pain and experiencing it all anew. It was a new version of his old nightmare all over again and when he heard a deep voice shouting his name he thought wildly that maybe he was still on the couch, dreaming, and Dean had come home to wake him. He flung himself around looking for the source of the voice, and saw Dean sprinting across the street towards him, Sam and Jess close behind. He wrenched himself free from the firemen and threw himself into Dean's arms.

'Dean! Dean, god, I thought, I saw the car and I thought you...' Castiel's voice broke, and he sobbed into Dean's arms, hoarse from screaming his name.

'I know, baby, it's OK, Sammy gave me a ride, I left the car at home. What the hell happened Cas?' They clung to each other, Castiel sobbing and Dean holding him tight, shaking with fury and fear and shock, watching over Castiel's shoulder as the firefighters worked to put out the burning mass that once was his home.

'I'm so sorry Dean, this was my fault. This is all because of me, he did this to hurt you, because of me.'

'Shush, now, come on, I'm OK, it'll be OK. It's not your fault, don't think that.'

Sam came to stand over them, wrapping a long arm around Dean's shoulders, Dean still holding Castiel as they watched the emergency services work. He spotted Sheriff Mills pull up, and nudged Dean in her direction, deftly handing off a still shaking Castiel to Jess, who moved him over to a curb, and sat him down. She retrieved a couple of blankets from the ambulance crew, who recognized her and let her care for Castiel. She wrapped the shaking man, her nursing training kicking in as she treated him for shock. Eventually she got him to stop shaking and calm enough to stand and talk to the Sheriff.

'Castiel, you OK there? Think you can answer some questions?' Jody looked at him with concern, he was white as a sheet, and looked about ready to collapse. Jess gripped him tight, to make sure he didn't keel over.

'He's in shock Sheriff, but he'll be alright, I'm not going to let him go til he is.' Jess looked at Castiel, fiercely protective of her patient, and that look went a long way towards calming Castiel, Jess had a face that told him she meant what she said.

'I'll be OK I think, I thought Dean was inside and I panicked. They wouldn't let me in to get him.' He patted Jess on the arm where she hung on to him tightly.

'Well that's probably for the best.' Jody looked back at the blazing building. 'Cas, I need to ask you some questions, OK?'

He looked at Dean, his breathing still shaking, and Dean immediately moved to his other side. Between Dean and Jess, they had him in a kind of sandwich, and the warmth from their bodies began to calm him.

'It's OK Cas, just answer Jody's questions, please? I need to know what happened.' Dean's voice was soft, but strained. Castiel could see he was furious, and hurting too. He'd worked so hard for his home, and he'd lost it because of Castiel, who could feel tears streaming down his cheeks, as he realized two things simultaneously, that he loved this man without reservation, and that he was surely about to lose him. He gazed at Dean for a moment and then turned to the sheriff, nodding, he could do this for the man at least. Mentally he pulled himself together.

'OK Castiel, you were the one that called the emergency services, what happened, from the beginning? Specifically what made you call from your home?'

Castiel untangled himself from the blankets Jess had cocooned him in, and pulled his phone from his pocket.

'I got a text message from an unknown number. It was a picture of Dean's house. I was just about to call you guys when I got the second picture, of the house burning. So I called 911, jumped in my car, and got over here as fast as I could. The fire service beat me to it.'

He handed the phone to Sheriff Mills, who flicked back forth between the two pictures for a moment.

'We're going to need to keep this, to try and trace the messages.'

'I think we know who sent them, Sheriff.' Dean's voice was no longer containing his fury.

'I know that Dean, but with no evidence all I can do is drag him in and question him. I want to make sure that when I pick him up I have enough evidence to put him away. For good.'

Dean sighed, and by the way he tensed Castiel could tell he was considering his own brand of justice. Jody could see it too, and she pointed a finger at him, firmly.

'Look Dean, I'm going to tell you this once and I want you to hear me. Don't you dare do anything stupid. This bastard is smart, and he's got a legal team to rival anyone in this state. The last think your brother and your boyfriend need is you winding up in jail. Or worse.' the sheriff warned.

'That bastard just burned down my house Jody, for all I know he was hoping I was inside. And you want me to sit on my ass doing nothing? Are you crazy?'

'Dean,' Sam, the voice of reason, dropped a hand onto Dean's shoulder, feeling the tension there. 'Dean, Jody's right, you're no good to any of us locked up. And think about it, if this guy's willing to burn your house down to get to Cas, he's not going to hesitate to use anything you do to him to put you in jail or out of the picture altogether. Think Dean, come on. Don't give the man the very thing he wants.'

Dean sighed, he knew Sam was right, but what he wouldn't give for five minutes alone in a room with this bastard.

'I know Sam, I know. I'm just pissed.'

'You have every right to be. Just don't be stupid with it.'

Dean let out a huff of breath and nodded. He headed back to the curb with Castiel and Jess, and sat to watch the firefighters drown his little house, arms tight around his boyfriend.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man That You Fear - Marilyn Manson


	21. Recovery

It was daylight by the time they were able to go home. After talking to Jody again, giving formal statements, and talking to the fire investigator, who's initial findings suggested arson, they were all exhausted. The walls and parts of the roof were almost all that remained of the house, and once Dean and Sam had salvaged what they could they went their separate ways. Sam and Jess went home, and Dean followed Castiel back to his place in the Impala. Dean peeled off his clothes and headed straight to the shower, silent and brooding. Castiel watched him go, miserable. He made use of the shower in his small guest bath, to wash away the filth and the grime, if not the misery. Clean and dressed in soft sweats and a t shirt, he wandered into his office to call Gabe and let him know what had happened. As he described the night's events to Gabe, he stared at the pictures on his notice board. Next to the old picture of his family, he'd tacked a shot Sam had taken, of himself and Dean looking at each other, grinning. They were in a bar, and he thought they might have been in the middle of a spirited debate. Castiel's eyes sparkled in the picture, and there was no mistaking the affection in Dean's look. Castiel wondered whether he'd ever see that look on Dean's face again. He couldn't imagine how Dean was going to come to terms with all this, and Castiel was bracing for their relationship to be over.

Sighing he turned his attention back to his conversation. Gabe promised to come by later that evening, and gave him the number of someone who could fit an alarm system to his house. With a warning to be careful he hung up as Dean came into the small room, his presence making it feel even smaller. Dean's shower had apparently been about as effective at soothing his feelings as Castiel's had. His face was somber. Hoping to avoid the inevitable for a little while longer, Castiel moved to head downstairs to the kitchen to make tea, tidy, do something. But Dean caught him by the wrist, and looked him in the eye.

'I'm not going anywhere Cas.'

'What?' Castiel's voice was strangled.

'I can see the look on your face, and yeah, this is all kinds of screwed up. But it wasn't your fault, and I'm not going to leave you, understand?'

'How the hell do you do that, are you reading my mind?'

'No sunshine, I just know you. Come here.'

Dean pulled Castiel into his arms, and Castiel couldn't help it, he was so relieved.

'I love you Dean.' He murmured into Dean's neck.

Dean held Castiel out at arms length again.

'What?'

'Nothing?'

'Nice try sunshine, I heard you alright. What makes you say that?'

Castiel frowned. Dean wasn't bolting from the room screaming 'too soon' but neither was he returning the sentiment. Castiel suddenly felt like a worm on a hook, and he squirmed a little. He pointed to the tiny couch and they sat, Castiel taking a deep breath.

'Dean, when I got that picture, I saw the car out front, and I assumed that it meant you were home. And then I got the second picture and I thought...' His voice broke, and Dean wrapped him in his arms again.

'You thought I was inside. That's why you were giving the fire crew hell, you weren't trying to save my record collection huh?'

'I, yeah. I assumed you were in there, which in hindsight wasn't too smart, but hey. The only thing I could think about was getting to you.  I'd have run in there without a second thought if they'd let me go for long enough. It was like being stuck in a new shiny version of the same old nightmare, but it was real.'

Dean tightened his arms around Castiel, horrified at the idea of a nightmare come to life. He'd seen the way Castiel had struggled against the firemen that held him, and had experienced a glimpse of the fear Castiel had felt.

'And nothing says you're in love like wanting to throw yourself into a burning building for someone, huh sunshine?'

Castiel shrugged.

'That wasn't what made me realize though. It was when I heard your voice, and it meant that you were alive.  I've never ever been so happy to see someone as I was when you showed up, Dean. I felt like I could breathe again.'

'And then I thought you were going to leave me, and I wouldn't even blame you. This wasn't what you signed up for when you made your promise to the nurse. You've lost so much because of me, I don't know how you even start dealing with that. And I knew that whatever happened, I would still love you, even if you left.'

'Cas, I promise you, I'm going nowhere. There's no way I'm going to leave you. Understand? As for the house, well, the first thing I'm going to do is call Bobby. He'll send a couple of guys around to secure what's left of the place, and he'll give me a few days off to deal with it all.'

Castiel nodded, his head tucked under Dean's chin, one of his favourite places in the world, and never to be taken for granted again. Ever practical, Dean was dealing with things the best way he knew, by doing something, but Castiel wondered when he'd deal with the emotional side of losing everything. He wondered if he'd given Dean too much to deal with, confessing his feelings like that.

'Then I think, we get some sleep.'

'That sounds good.'

'And then, later we'll figure out what's next, together. I'll have to call the insurance people, and they'll want to come look at it no doubt. But all that can wait a few hours. Let me call Bobby, and then we can crash, OK?'

Later, curled together in Castiel's soft bed, holding each other as close as possible, something suddenly occurred to Castiel.

'Hey Dean?'

'Mmphh?'

'You can stay with me, as long as you like.'

'Thanks, might be a while though. Sammy'll take me in, or dad.'

'Don't be ridiculous. Stay. Please?'

'Kay. Thanks baby. Can we sleep now?'

Castiel nodded, and felt Dean relax into his arms. Sleep came fast for both of them, and Castiel was too exhausted to dream.

* * * * *

They woke, mid afternoon, to someone hammering on Castiel's door. For a moment Dean was disoriented, and as he dragged himself out of the bed, shaking Castiel's shoulder to rouse him, he had that light headed feeling that sleeping in the day often brings. Castiel squinted at his watch, it was after three.

'Who's at the door Cas?' Dean was understandably wary, but Castiel thought that was a dumb question.

'Do I look psychic?' He griped at Dean, scrabbling for a shirt.

'That would be handy, predict the lotto for me and I can buy a new house, what do you say?'

'I can't believe you're even joking about that.' Castiel was on his way out of the bedroom and heading down the stairs. The pounding on the door came again. Dean followed Castiel, wondering if there was anything in the hallway to use as a weapon.

Castiel peeked through the fisheye in the wooden door, huffed, and swung open the door, Dean standing close behind him.

'Hey Dean-o, Cas. How you guys doing?'

Gabe was serious, for the first time ever, in Dean's experience.

'You better come in Gabe.' Castiel stepped back to let the smaller man past, almost tripping over Dean, who was crowded against him. They followed Gabe into the lounge, and sat.

'So seriously guys, you OK?'

'We're alive, we're here at least. There was a moment last night where I thought Dean was inside the house. It was,' Castiel searched for the right word, 'traumatic.'

'So what actually happened? You weren't exactly coherent this morning Cas.'

Castiel could imagine he wasn't. He took Dean's hand and explained what happened, how Dean had gone out with his brother, the text messages he'd gotten, the scene when he got to Dean's house. Here he faltered and Dean took over, describing what was left of the house, the opinion of the police and the fire investigator.

'Bobby said he was going to go over and try and board up what's left, make it secure and whatever. I need to call the insurance people, and figure out what to do next. I keep realizing I don't have anything except what was in the car, and what I had with me. And the stuff I've left here I guess. It's hard to know where to start really.' Dean looked at Castiel for help, and Castiel squeezed his hand.

'I know how that goes Dean, we went through all that with Cas here when the bastard did this to him. You came to us with nothing, Cas, remember?'

Castiel nodded, He'd shared clothes with Gabe for several days after he left the hospital, before Gabe's kind mother had been able to shop for him.

'At some point we can make a list, and figure out what you need, try and prioritize. But first you need to talk to the insurance people. Money makes the world go round and they're the ones with the check book. I can make us something to eat if you want while you two do that?'

Dean looked at Gabe, seeing a whole new side to him. No jokes, no sarcasm, just a willingness to help. He could see now why he and Castiel had remained close all these years.

'Don't look so surprised Dean-o, I can be a decent guy when I need to be. And besides, you two probably need a detached third party to help you out, provide some perspective, you know? And I've been through all this before, so I know what I'm talking about.'

Castiel looked at Gabe, gratefully. His family had not only taken him in, but Gabe, or his mother, had sat with him every night for weeks, when he had nightmares. Gabe had begun to look like a zombie by the time Castiel started sleeping through the night again, and Castiel could never thank him or his family enough for what they'd done for him, and now here the man was, helping him again. Castiel felt overwhelmed for a moment.

Gabe caught the look Castiel gave him, and hustled out to the kitchen, patting Castiel on the shoulder tenderly as he went. 'I'll make some tea and scrounge up some food, you two get to work.'

'Thank you,' Castiel murmured around a lump the size of an apple in his throat.

* * * * *

On Saturday morning they visited the wreckage, and Castiel met Bobby for the first time, along with some of Dean's colleagues. The insurance assessor showed up promptly at nine thirty, and trod carefully around the remains of the building, taking photographs and discussing what had been lost with Dean. Castiel perched on the curb again, chatting quietly with Bobby, who, it turned out was a man of few words, though he had a sharp mind and surprising optimism about the situation. While they waited Bobby sent a young mechanic off for breakfast, and the kid returned with bags full of breakfast sandwiches, oozing with grease and just what they needed. The kid was even smart enough to bring coffee.

The assessor handed over a thick packet of paperwork, and they discussed what kind of claims Dean was likely to file. He'd already requested reports from the police and the fire investigator, and he reassured Dean that he foresaw few issues with his claims. Sam showed up at eleven with a release from the police department, confirming that the investigators were done with the building, and they could get to work, trying to right the damage. Dean handed the insurance paperwork to Sam, who promised to go through it with him. They spent the rest of the day clearing the house, so that Bobby could get a friend in to assess the structure of the place. It was dirty work, and it was rough, to watch Dean shovelling the remains of his possessions into a large debris box that Bobby had miraculously had delivered.

Dean worked until his muscles burned. It was the only way he could think of to work off the anger, the wretchedness he felt at seeing all he'd worked for destroyed. The only thing that made this situation any easier was that he was surrounded by his family, his friends, people who loved him. And that included Castiel. He tried hard to keep his mind on the joy he'd felt when Castiel had told him he was in love. He knew rationally that to brood on his hurts wouldn't help him heal, but it was hard. He threw away the remains of his record collection and nearly cried, and when he found what was left of his photo albums, he did cry, holding the blackened books in his hands, the precious images of his mother inside, destroyed.

Sam sensed Dean's sudden stillness, jarring after seeing the man work like a Trojan all day. He looked up from where he was trying to manhandle what was left of the couch out of the door, and dropped what he was doing. Catching Dean by the shoulders, he steered him outside and handed him a rag to clean his hands and his face.

'Dean, look, I can't replace everything that you've lost. But I do have something for you, something that will help.'

'What could possibly help Sammy? Everything's gone.'

'Not everything, Jess and I did something for you.' Sam pulled open the trunk of his car, and revealed to Dean the project he and Jess had spent their Friday night on. At the time Dean had been wrangling insurance company staff, he and his girlfriend had been putting together something they hoped would lift Dean's spirits a little. He handed a large box to Dean, who balanced it on the ledge of the car's trunk, pulling off the lid. Inside lay three pristine photo albums. Dean looked, confused at Sam, and pulled out the first one, opening it carefully, wondering.

'How? Sammy, how did you do this?' Dean's voice was choked with emotion.

'You remember when I got back from college and I was staying with you? I was waiting to start at the firm, and you were out at work all day, so I gave myself stuff to do. This was one of the things I did. I scanned in all of your photos, and then I went over to Dad's and did all of his too. Bobby gave me a bunch yesterday too, and I scanned those, and included them, and some we've taken, too.'

Dean flicked over pages of pictures of the two of them as kids, of their mom and dad together, smiling and happy, of his dad and Bobby. When he got to the third book, he found pictures of them all grown up, him and Sam playing pool together, Gabe and Castiel laughing, a copy of the shot Castiel had pinned up in his office, Sam's graduation picture, Dean at the auto shop, a candid shot, he was waving a wrench at someone off camera, there was even a cute one of Sam and Jess. He looked up at his brother, astonished at the thoughtfulness, so proud of the man his brother had become, and he couldn't stop the tears from falling. He reverently placed the book back into it's box, and he pulled his brother into a crushing hug.

'Sammy, thank you, this, this is just,' He was too overwhelmed to even try to explain how much this mean to him.

'I know man, it's alright. It's the least we could do. Every one of these is saved somewhere safe, I've made copies of everything. Whatever else happens, you wont lose these, understand? And whatever you need, me and Jess, we'll be here, yeah?'

'Thank you. Just, I don't know what to say, just thank you.'

Sam patted Dean on the shoulder, and left him perched on the trunk of the car, flicking through photographs he thought he would never see again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recovery - Frank Turner


	22. Love Will Tear Us Apart

On Monday morning Dean and Castiel checked in with Sheriff Mills, and she had only bad news. The police had traced the text messages back to an unregistered burner phone. It was a dead end. None of Dean's neighbours had seen anything useful, and Zach himself had not been seen since before the fire. He had not been back to the hostel where he was supposed to be staying, and he had not showed up at his job. The police were looking for him, but they honestly had no idea where he might be hiding. Dean was frustrated, how could a man just vanish like that? Castiel was also frustrated, scared too. As they rattled around his house, just waiting for something to happen, they irritated each other, bickering like they never had before. Eventually Dean left to spend some time with his brother, and to put some space between them. The next morning when Castiel woke, he was alone. He vaguely recalled Dean coming to bed late last night, the dip of the bed as he'd crept in, and the murmured apology for his short temper, as he'd pulled Castiel close to him. He'd come home, and been loving and affectionate, so where was he now?

Castiel climbed softly out of bed, pulling on pyjama pants and one of Dean's t shirts. Pushing a hand through his unruly hair, he was quiet for a moment, listening to the house, trying to tell if Dean was still home. He caught murmuring coming from the study, and something made him move quietly as he approached the open door. Dean had his back to the door, and was on the phone.

'Charlie, I don't care what you have to do, just find him, yeah? This needs to end. Me and Cas, we're driving each other nuts.'

Silence.

'Uh, right, and that's on the corner of Castro and Fourteenth. Got it. Thanks. Yeah I won't, don't worry. Yeah I know, talk to you soon Charlie. Thanks.'

Dean ended the call and turned around, stopping short as he noticed Castiel in the doorway, watching him.

'What was that about Dean?'

'Nothing Cas, don't worry about it.'

'Nothing? It didn't sound like nothing to me. You had Charlie try and track down Zach didn't you? What are you going to do, go after him?'

'Cas, come on, I can't sit around here and just wait for him to burn this place down as well, or worse. What do you want me to do, sit tight and hope your crazy ex gets bored?'

'No, I want you to let the police find him and deal with him.'

'The police aren't doing jack shit, Cas. Charlie had a lead on him in five minutes. What the hell are the cops doing out there?' Dean's voice was raised, heated.

'And how many laws did she break to get that information? Come on Dean, please, you're smarter than this.'

'Zach is just waiting for the chance to come after us again. The police are useless. I'm going to make sure he can't hurt us again.'

'No Dean, you're not. You can't.' Castiel was shouting by this point.

'I can and I will, damn it, I'm not going to sit around with my thumb up my ass while he gets to run around the city laughing at us.'

Dean matched Castiel's volume and tone with his own, as he paced the room. Castiel had a flash of an image, a tiger in a cage, agitated, trapped and dangerous.

'If you go looking for him, you're looking for trouble, he will hurt you, he could kill you. Please Dean.'

'I can hold my own. I'm done screwing around, he burned my goddamned house down, I can't just let that go.'

'I'm not asking you to let it go, I'm asking you to wait.'

'I can't do that any more, I'm sorry, I just can't.'

Dean pushed past Castiel, and headed for the stairs. Castiel watched him go for a moment, and then got mad. Really mad. He stood at the top of the stairs watching Dean moving away from him and he let his rage wash over him for a second. He bolted down the stairs after his boyfriend. Catching him in the hallway, he grabbed him by his elbow, and spun him around.

'What the fuck is wrong with you?' Castiel stared Dean down, fuming.

'What? I'm trying to protect us Cas, there's nothing wrong with me.'

Cas stepped forward, and Dean realized all of a sudden that he'd never seen the guy really lose his temper before, but he was definitely about to experience it. He faltered, taking a small step back. Castiel didn't stop coming though. He slammed a hand into Dean's chest, knocking him backwards.

'What the fuck, man?' Dean reasserted his balance and squared himself.

'You made a promise Dean. You made a promise to me. You swore that you wouldn't put yourself in harms way, if I would make the same promise, and I did and I stuck to it.'

'Cas...'

Castiel was pacing now, clenching his fists, coiled and furious.

'No!' Castiel whirled around and roared at Dean. 'No! You promised! I gave this a shot because you promised. I put everything, my heart, my soul, everything, on the fucking line because you fucking promised me, that you wouldn't do anything to put yourself at risk. And now you want to go and hunt him fucking down?'

Castiel punctuated his final comment with a fist, he pounded into the wall in his hallway with all the fury he had inside him. Dean flinched at the almighty bang, as the plasterboard disintegrated, leaving a fist sized hole, and Castiel pulled back to punch again.

Dean caught his hand, before he could destroy the hallway he worked so hard to build. He pulled Castiel into a hard embrace that was more of a restraint, even as the man fought against him.

'Cas, Cas, stop, please? Baby, you're bleeding, please, calm down, come on, please.'

Castiel eventually stilled, breathing hard. Dean released him, to look at his hand. His knuckles were bloody.

'Cas, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.'

Castiel tensed, and Dean looked him in the eyes. Castiel glared back. Dean reached out and smoothed a thumb along a defiant set jaw.

'Cas, sitting around, waiting for Zach to come here, to hurt me, or worse, to hurt you, it's just... I made a promise to protect you too, remember? I swore to you he wouldn't be able to hurt you.'

'I know you did, and I'm not going to give you any bullshit. It meant so much to me that you would do that. But it's not what I asked of you. And I need you to keep the promise I asked you to make. The one you agreed to make.'

'Cas.'

'No Dean, I mean it. I've spent thirteen years rejecting anyone that came within a mile of me, to keep me from getting my heart broken all over again. I couldn't deal with any more pain, so I kept everyone at arms length. Until you. I let you in. I fell in love with you. Broke the golden rule. No falling.'

Castiel's voice was bitter with the irony.

'And now you want to run off and get yourself hurt, or killed, and you'll break me at the same time, you will, and I can't deal with that. I asked you to make that promise for a reason Dean, I laid everything I had on the line for this. You told me you were a man of your word, and I trusted you. Don't, don't do this to me.'

Castiel's voice betrayed all of the pain he'd worked so hard to hide, all of his fears. Dean swallowed, and wrestled with his conflicts. Every instinct he had was screaming at him to protect the man he loved. But Castiel was right, he was, first and foremost, a man of his word.

'Alright. Alright, damn it! I'll stay. You're right, I made a promise. I'll stick to it.' Dean's voice was emphatic. 'I love you, sunshine, I really do, just, I don't know, I protect the people I love. Sitting back, doing nothing? It's hard for me OK? It's not who I am.'

'I know Dean, I know what I'm asking from you is hard. If it was easy, I wouldn't have a hole in my wall.' Castiel smiled ruefully, as his heart swelled at hearing Dean say the words. Dean huffed a small laugh, when he realized it had slipped out without realizing and he tried it on again as he pressed a kiss to Castiel's soft lips.

'I love you Castiel. And I'll help you fix that. Although, I gotta say, rather the wall than me, you're pretty scary when you're mad.'

'I would never, Dean, never hurt you. I shouldn't have even pushed you, I'm so sorry.'

'It's OK Cas, I understand. People do crazy things for the ones they love. Come on, sunshine, lets get this hand cleaned up huh? It looks pretty sore.'

They headed for the kitchen and Castiel pointed out the first aid box, as he hopped onto the old farm house style kitchen table. Dean pulled it open and cleaned up Castiel's knuckles. Castiel hissed as Dean dabbed the cuts with antiseptic ointment.

'Don't be a baby, it's not that bad.'

Castiel just scowled at Dean, until a thought flitted into his head.

'You only call me baby when you're worked up.'

'What? I don't call you baby.'

'You do. You called me baby when you were trying to calm me down just now, and one time when I had a nightmare, and the other night, at your place, when you found me, it was the first thing you called me. Not sunshine, which is so not funny by the way, or Cas, you called me baby.'

'Huh. You sure?'

Castiel laughed. 'Yes Dean, I'm sure.'

Dean frowned at Castiel. Was this man turning him into a sap?

'Huh. Do you like it?'

Castiel thought for a minute as Dean bandaged his hand.

'Yeah, I do. It tells me a lot about your state of mind.'

'It does?'

'Yeah.' He pulled Dean closer, pressing a hot kiss to his lips.

'Mmmm and what does it tell you?' Dean kissed back with enthusiasm.

'It tells me that you're distracted.' He licked into Dean's mouth.

'Mmphh.'

'And that you care about me.' More kisses.

'S'true.'

'It's very affectionate.' Castiel tugged Dean closer, wrapping his legs around the man as he stood against the table Castiel was sitting on.

'You're making me sound like a sap Cas.'

'I like it when you're a sap.'

'Mmmp. OK then. But don't tell anyone, got an image to protect.' Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel, kissing him deeply, humming into Castiel's mouth as Castiel snaked his arms tight around his boyfriend.

'Caaaaaas?'

'Yes Dean?'

'Are we gonna have makeup sex?'

'Yes Dean.'

'Awesome.'

They shed clothes as they made their way upstairs. Castiel pressed Dean into the bedroom, shucking his pants as they kissed in the doorway. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel, walking him back to the bed, hoisting him carefully onto the down comforter.

Dean poured his frustrations out as he touched his boyfriend. He turned Castiel onto his stomach and straddled his hips, running his hands up and down Castiel's skin, massaging and caressing firmly, soothing the pain and the fear and the anger from Castiel's body, feeling his boyfriend relax under his hands.

'That feels wonderful.' Castiel was making happy sighing noises beneath his touch.

Dean leaned down and followed his touches with open kisses, mapping the contours of Castiel's back with his lips, working his way down to the curve of his ass, which he couldn't resist nibbling at. He ran a finger down Castiel's ass crack, ghosting over his entrance and Castiel's hips rose to seek more contact. Dean followed the finger with his tongue, and Castiel moaned, a delicious little noise. Dean used his tongue to lick his way inside Castiel, probing and swirling, until Castiel was begging him for more.

Finding condoms and lube in the bedside table, Dean slicked his fingers before returning his tongue to Castiel's opening, following it with one finger, loving the feeling of his boyfriend opening up to him. He took Castiel quickly, working him open with fingers and tongue, until Castiel couldn't help himself from fucking up onto Dean's fingers.

He rolled on the condom, and slicking himself, he positioned himself over Castiel, pressing into him, until their bodies were aligned, and all he could think about was Castiel's heat wrapped around his cock. He pressed himself along Castiel's back, wrapping his arms around the man he loved, kissing his shoulder, the back of his neck, his ear, as he rocked into Castiel, slow at first, and then harder, letting all of his fear and frustration go as he fucked into the man in his arms, until he was pounding into him. He hauled Castiel to his knees, reaching to grasp his boyfriend's neglected cock, timing his grip with his thrusts. Castiel groaned, as Dean took him harder and harder, the world and all it's problems seemed further and further away.  He thrust his hips back to meet Dean, needing this, begging for it, gasping Dean's name over and over again, until suddenly, blindingly, his climax hit him, and he threw his head back and cried out, bucking into Dean. Dean didn't miss a stroke as he felt Castiel come beneath him, he pounded harder, chasing his own release, and when it caught him, all he could do was hang on to Castiel, gasping and panting, whimpering a little as he came down.

Rolling away, Dean disposed of the condom, and pulled a shaking Castiel into his arms.

'Sorry sunshine, I meant to take it slow. I just...'

'I know Dean, it's alright, I think we both needed that.'

'You're shaking.'

'I'm OK, don't worry.'

Castiel buried himself in Dean's arms, warm and safe. Dean's caresses soothed him, until he was calm again. Looking up, he gazed into Dean's eyes, which blinked at him anxiously.

'Cas, did I hurt you, are you alright?'

'I'm OK, you didn't hurt me, no more than I wanted you to anyway. I'm angry and scared and frustrated, and you are too. I have no problem with us working that out in the bedroom. Rather that than on my walls.'

Castiel flexed his bandaged hand, ruefully. He pressed a kiss to Dean's soft lips, running the same hand over that strong jaw.

'I love you Dean, I can't bear the thought of losing you. I overreacted earlier, I let myself get angry.'

'Hey, now listen. You don't hide your feelings from me, and you don't keep them bottled up.  Understand? You can be honest with me. I want you to be honest with me. You don't ever need to hide anything from me.' Dean was firm, but he nosed for soft kisses between his words. 'Just let me know though, if you get mad like that a lot we'll get you a punch bag or something, save having to put up a lot of new walls.'

'That kind of anger is pretty rare, I promise.'

'Well alright then. But I mean it, no hiding, not from me. I told you I loved you and I meant all of you. Even the scary bits.'

'I'm not really scary Dean.'

'You kind of are. But it's all good, it's actually kind of a turn on.'

Dean rolled his hips lazily into Castiel, making the dark haired man catch his breath.

'Really? Already?' Castiel quirked an eyebrow at Dean, who just grinned.

'Maybe this time we can actually take it slow, huh sunshine?'

He pressed kisses to Castiel's skin as he rolled him onto his back, ready to show him just how much of a turn on his scary side was.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division


	23. Every Step You Take

A few days later a check arrived for Dean, an advance on his insurance claim. It came with confirmation that the rest of the money would be following in the next two weeks or so. Once Dean had given Bobby the money he needed to have his guys make a start on construction on the house, Castiel took him shopping to replace some of his lost stuff. They had fun goofing around in the changing rooms, trying on ridiculous outfits, until Castiel persuaded Dean to try on a gorgeous deep red shirt, and black pants. When Dean stepped out of the changing room Castiel nearly swallowed his tongue. The pants fit the curve of his ass perfectly, and the deep red colour was stunning against Dean's golden skin and green eyes.

'Next time you take me out for dinner, you're wearing that.' Castiel croaked, blinking at Dean, who grinned, holding out his arms and executing a slow turn, wiggling his hips a little, letting Castiel get the full effect.

'You like?'

'I like. Very much.'

'OK then, we'll add it to the pile.'

Castiel grinned, stepping close to kiss his boyfriend, running his hands over the soft shirt.

'It will look wonderful on my bedroom floor, too.'

Dean broke into laughter. 'Too cheesy sunshine, sorry.'

'Just buy the damn shirt, Winchester. And the pants.'

To emphasize his point he smoothed over the dark fabric, which was doing a fine job of showcasing some of his boyfriend's best assets.

'You got it Cas. Can I try on the next thing, or are you going to get us thrown out of the store?'

Castiel groaned in frustration, and waved Dean back into the changing room. Watching his man put on a fashion show was testing all of his self control.

As well as clothes, they shopped for household items too, things that Dean could stash at Castiel's place until his was rebuilt and repainted. It was while they were bickering affectionately over bedding that Dean felt the sudden sensation that they were being watched. He looked up suddenly, but there was no one there.

'Dean?'

'Sorry, I just had a feeling for a second that there was someone looking at us. I think I'm just paranoid, you know?'

Castiel frowned, and looked around, seeing nothing alarming.

'Maybe, hopefully. I wouldn't blame you for being paranoid, it's pretty understandable. Grown men wanting to sleep under cartoon bedsheets, however, is not.'

'Come on Cas, it's the Avengers, they're awesome.'

'Dean, let me make this as clear as I possibly can for you.'

Dean eyed his boyfriend nervously, he had that wicked grin on his face again, and was leaning in close to Dean's ear.

'I'm not fucking you with Iron Man and Thor looking at me. You want to get laid in your nice new bed?' Castiel murmured into Dean's ear, his breath hot as he pressed himself into Dean's hip.

Dean swallowed and nodded.

'Then maybe we get something that won't stare at me while I'm sucking your cock, huh? You do want me to suck your cock, in your new bed, right?' Castiel was still whispering in his ear, and then Dean felt a hot wet tongue trace the edge of his ear, following it's form from top to bottom, until it reached his earlobe, to which Castiel gave a small nibble. Dean fought hard to suppress his whimper, and suddenly his pants felt uncomfortably tight. Dean discovered that his man was not above using sex to get what he wanted, and, surprisingly, Dean was on board with that.

'I think I got your point sunshine, let's uh, let's find something else, huh?'

'I think,' Dean felt another hot lick around his earlobe, 'that is a very good idea. Well done.'

'Cas, if you keep this up, I'm going to drag you back to the Impala and that doesn't have any sheets at all.'

'Hmmm, really?' He breathed into Dean's ear, 'I've never had sex in a car before.'

'Fuck, Cas, you're killing me here.'

Dean was reaching the edge of his patience and willpower, and Castiel seemed to understand that, as he let up, with a final flick of his tongue over Dean's earlobe. He stepped back, allowing Dean to catch his breath and get himself under control.

'Just wait until I get you home, sunshine.'

Castiel just grinned that wicked grin again before wandering off to look at towels.

Loading their bags into the Impala's spacious trunk they were debating which Avengers movie was the best, Dean having made Castiel sit through all of them by now. Dean suddenly felt that cold prickle on the back of his neck again, and looked up, just as an old pick up truck squealed past them, and clattered out of the mall parking lot. Dean hadn't been able to see who was in the drivers seat, but judging by how white Castiel had gone, it could only have been one person. He pulled out his phone, dialling Sheriff Mills directly as he wrapped one arm around his trembling boyfriend.

'Jody, it's Dean, we're at the big mall off Market Street, and we've just seen Zach. He's just peeled out of the parking lot in a pickup truck. No sorry, I didn't catch the plate,' he looked at Castiel, who shook his head, 'neither did Cas, sorry. Alright, OK, yeah, thanks Jody, OK, we'll see you in a few.'

He turned to Castiel, wrapping his free arm around him, hugging him close, as they waited for the cops to show. Jody was there in a few minutes, sirens blaring. She was followed closely by two more police cars. She got a description of the truck from Dean and sent one of the cars off in the direction Zach had gone. The other car parked next to Dean's Impala.

'Guys, these two cops are going to watch your car in case Zach comes back and tries anything dangerous. Boys, while you're here, get the traffic cam footage of Market and the surrounding streets, see if you can find the pickup.' She turned to Dean and Castiel. 'I need you both to come with me.'

She led them back into the mall, and walked them into it's security center, greeting the two men clothed in black who were watching a bank of screens, showing footage from the dozens of CCTV cameras scattered around the shopping center.

'Hey guys, thanks for letting us take a look at your footage. Dean, I need a list of the stores you both visited today, ideally in order, and with an idea of what sort of time you visited, if you can?'

'Sure, hang on, all the information is on the receipts, at least for the places we bought stuff anyway.' Dean dug the wad of receipts out of his pocket and shuffled them.

'OK here's the first one, we left Old Navy just after ten thirty.'

'How long did you walk around the mall before you went there, and what entrance did you come in from?'

'We came in from the one we just came through, it was closest to the car, and we had coffee in Starbucks, the one right next to it. Then we hit up Old Navy.'

'So you arrived at maybe nine forty five?'

'That sounds right.' Castiel confirmed

Jody turned to the security officer next to her, who was already taping instructions into the keyboard. He pulled up footage of the parking lot. He fiddled a little, and the picture jolted into fast forward.

'Stop.' Dean's voice was firm. He pointed to the screen. 'That's us, that's my car.' They watched as the Impala drove into the parking lot, and watched themselves climb out and walk towards the mall doors. Dean had a wild thought and huffed a laugh. Castiel frowned at him.

'I walk like a cowboy.'

'I told you you did, you didn't believe me.'

'I've never watched myself walk before, how was I supposed to know?'

'OK then,' the security officer looked at the two of them, baffled at the conversation the two men were having, and choosing instead to ignore it. 'Now we know where we're starting we should be able to track you through the mall and see if this guy shows up anywhere.'

For a moment they watched the screen, and nothing happened, but then a white pick up truck rolled into the lot. Dean felt Castiel take his hand, as they watched Zach climb out of the truck and head for the same doors they'd just walked through.

'That's him,' Castiel whispered.

'You're sure?' Jody prompted.

'I'd recognize him anywhere.'

'OK then, can we track him through the mall?'

The security guy, who's name was apparently Frank, nodded, and tap tap tapped at his keyboard again. Dean and Castiel watched themselves leave Starbucks, and then a few moments later, Zach followed the same route. Castiel felt increasingly ill as he watched Zach follow them for their entire shopping trip.

Dean watched them messing around in the department store where they'd bought his bedding, and watched himself look up, remembering the chilling sensation that he had been being watched. From the video footage he could see Zach step out of his line of sight as he looked around, and his free hand curled itself, involuntarily, into a fist.

'The bastard was following us all day. How did we not see him?' Dean was furious.

'I guess you weren't just being paranoid.' Castiel's voice was flat.

'Cas, you need to sit down? You look like you're going to throw up.' Dean nudged Castiel into a chair, and crouched in front of him.

'It's just a shock, actually seeing him. I'll be OK, Dean, please Frank, carry on.'

They watched the rest of their shopping expedition, culminating in the incident in the parking lot. Zach hovered in the background of every place they went.

'Frank, we're going to need a copy of this for evidence, please.'

Frank nodded, tapped a few times, and inserted a blank CD into a drive. There was a whir and then he handed over the CD to the sheriff. Just then her radio crackled to life, and she stepped outside to talk to her dispatcher. Returning to the security office she announced, 'They've located the pickup.'

Castiel stood, 'Did they catch him?'

'No, he torched it and fled. It was reported stolen, and we don't know if he disappeared on foot, or stole another vehicle.'

'So we're back to square one?' Dean's frustration was palpable.

'I've got men out looking for him, and we're going through stolen car reports as they come in, in case it's a car he's taken. We're doing our best Dean.'

'And what are we supposed to do in the meantime? Sit around waiting for him to burn down another house? This time with us in it?'

'I can put a unit outside Castiel's place and step up patrols there. He won't come close while there are police in the area.'

Castiel cut in before Dean's frustration could manifest into shouting, or swinging the fist he was clenching and releasing. 'Thank you Sheriff, I appreciate that. Is there anything else you need from us?'

'No, you boys go on home, I'll call you if we make any progress. Be careful, you hear? And Dean, I know you want to, but don't, don't go looking for him, leave that to us, understand? I don't know how you got that last tip, but if you get any more like it, you call me, it's my job to go after him, not yours.'

Dean's nod was barely perceptible, but it was there. He allowed Castiel to lead him out of the mall and back to the car. The police car was still there, and it followed them home, parking a little way up the block, where the officers had a good view of the house. Inside the house Dean called his brother and a few minutes later Sam and Jess showed up on Castiel's doorstep.

'You two had other plans tonight, huh? Sorry man.' Dean let them in, and they congregated in Castiel's spacious lounge.

'Don't worry about it Dean, we were planning to eat takeout, and watch a movie, and we can do that here. Sam just thought you'd both like the company.'

Jess was pulling things out of her bag as she spoke. She produced beer, tequila and limes.

'You got salt right Cas?'

'Jess, tequila? Is that a good idea?' Dean eyed the bottle, considering the scale of the hangover he'd experienced the last time he'd let Jess direct the drinking proceedings.

'Yes, it is. You two have had a horrible experience, and getting drunk will help. You both need the distraction too, trust me, I'm a nurse.'

'Cas, help me out here.' Castiel looked up from his phone, Jody had finally given it back. 'Sorry Dean, she's a nurse, I'm not arguing with her.'

'Well what are you doing?'

'Inviting Gabe, he'd kill me if he missed out on a tequila party.'

Dean, understanding himself to be in the minority, resigned himself to the hangover. At least tomorrow was Sunday. Jess grinned as she saw Dean's expression of surrender, and pulled the last thing from her bag. A selection of DVDs. She'd managed to find four of the worst, low budget, b movie, horror flicks Dean had ever considered watching.

'I thought about some proper creepy horror stuff, embrace the pain, you know? But I didn't want to freak you guys out too much, so I went with funny scary instead.'

Dean looked at the miniature blonde lady, and then at his brother, and raised an eyebrow. Sam laughed.

'What, man, you think I can tell her what to do? When she makes her mind up, that's it.'

'You know it Sam.' Jess gave her boyfriend a pointed look.

'You are so whipped little brother. She's tiny, how scary can she be?'

Jess fixed Dean with the kind of look that might actually turn a man to stone, and Dean put his hands up in mock surrender.

'Alright, alright, but if we're doing tequila, we're all doing it, which means you guys are staying here tonight. They can stay in the spare room, right Cas?'

'Of course, it's made up anyway. So Jess, know any good drinking games?' Castiel grinned, and Dean knew he was in trouble again.

Gabe showed up with more tequila, and his customary sugary treats, this time a tray of cookies, and taught them all how to play the last name game, which led to much debate, and more drinking.

'No Dean, it has to be someone famous.' Gabe explained patiently. 'You have to drink.'

'What? I'm famous, I'm awesome, I should count!'

Gabe laughed and explained the rules again, as if talking to a two year old.

'I say a name, of a famous person. This bit is important. Famous person. And then you have to come up with a name of another famous person, who's name starts with the first letter of the last name of the person I played. If you screw up, you drink. So drink.'

Gabe had played Johnny Depp, and Dean had gone in with his own name, causing Gabe to look at him like he was crazy, and Castiel to just lose it. He reached out and patted Dean's shoulder encouragingly.

'Dean, honey, I love you and you are awesome, but, sweetie, you're not famous.' Castiel was giggling at Dean's petulant face. 'How 'bout you go with Demi Moore instead, huh?'

'Hey, no helping him.' Jess demanded as she refilled their glasses.

Dean scowled, or at least tried to, his face wasn't really responding to his instructions any more. He downed his shot, bit his lime, and yelled, at the top of his lungs, 'Demi Moore!' before collapsing back against the couch he was leaning on. For some reason, despite Castiel's very comfortable couches, they were all sitting in a sort of circle on the floor. Castiel was leaning on him, getting heavier, the more tequila he drank. He elbowed his boyfriend.

'Cas, your turn smart ass.'

The game continued late into the night, interrupted by food delivery, and by Sam's snores when he fell asleep on Jess, who was hilarious trying to drag herself out from underneath his enormous frame. Eventually though, they all crashed out, Sam and Jess in the spare room, Gabe under a blanket on the couch.

Sam woke with a jolt, initially disoriented in the unfamiliar room, and wondering what had woken him. But then he heard it again, screaming, coming from down the hall. Shit, Dean, Cas! Was there someone in the house?

He eased himself out of bed as Jess woke, and he warned her to lock the door behind him, and to stay put. He crept out of the room, and moved silently down the hall, locating the source of the screams, and easing the door open. He found Dean, wrapped around a screaming, fighting Castiel, and as he watched, suddenly understanding that no one was under attack, Dean talked to Castiel, rocking him, caressing him, until he calmed down. When Dean looked up and saw Sam standing in the doorway, he smiled a sad smile. Sam nodded, understanding, and silently as he'd approached, he turned and left Dean to care for the man he loved, bumping into Jess in the process. He tugged her back to their room, and demanded to know why she'd followed him.

'What, like I was going to let you get attacked by some psycho?'

'Jess, you're fearless, I love that about you, but of the two of us, who do you think is going to stand up better in a fight with a crazy guy?'

Jess gave him a side eye look. 'Sam, I know things about the human body that would make your lovely hair curl. I could hurt a guy before he even knew what I'd done. I know like fifty ways just to knock someone out.'

Sam wondered, not for the first time, if he'd bitten off more than he could chew with this tiny spitfire of a woman.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every Step You Take - The Police


	24. Perfect Crime

Monday morning saw both Dean and Castiel back at work. They were both worried, but neither wanted to sit around the house and wait for something, or nothing, to happen. Sunday had looked a lot like that after everyone had eaten breakfast and gone their separate ways, and Dean, especially, felt like he needed to be doing something productive, otherwise he would crack up. He also wanted to avoid another fight with Castiel, and he knew that if he didn't take his mind off things it was inevitable that he'd take his frustrations out on the man he loved. The police detail Jody had assigned was still watching Castiel's place so they were confident it would be alright. Castiel was also using work for avoidance, he desperately wanted to blow off some steam on his bike, he was as frustrated as Dean about the whole situation, and he was worried that Dean was going to do something dangerous if it wasn't resolved soon.  Getting back to work at least took his mind off things. Back at pretty much full fitness, he took on the day's toughest jobs, hoping to exhaust himself enough to kill his nightmares. Gabe watched him carefully, he too had heard Castiel screaming on Saturday night, and he knew this situation was getting to the man, however stoic he tried to appear.

On his way to the auto shop Dean swung by his house, which was now clad in scaffold. Bobby's contacts were already hard at work, swarming like ants over the construction site, and Dean could see that it would only be a few days before the place looked like a house again, at least from the outside. Dean had worked with Rufus, Bobby's construction guy, and they'd been able to expand and rework the floor plan slightly, taking advantage of the disaster to provide a little more living space. Rufus' guys were working hard, Dean had no idea what Bobby had said to Rufus, but the speed at which his little house was coming back from the dead was astonishing. All Bobby would say was that Rufus owed him a favour. A big favour apparently. At work Dean recounted the events of his shopping trip to Bobby, who was pissed on Dean's behalf, and offered up his shotgun. When Dean wondered if he didn't need it here, Bobby pointed out he had a half dozen of varying sizes and types, he could afford to loan one out. Dean grimly locked the gun in the trunk of his car, hoping to never have to use it.

On Wednesday Rufus called Dean to say that they were done with basic construction. After work, Dean and Castiel headed over to the house, now not quite so little. Rufus had managed to expand the space enough to add a small second bathroom, and the plumber was due tomorrow to fit everything for that, as well as new kitchen fittings, and new fittings for the original bathroom.  An electrician would also be in to rewire the place. The kitchen was a bigger space now and had a large picture window looking out onto the now slightly smaller back yard. Rufus and his boys had even reworked the roof structure enough to work in a room in the loft space, accessed by a small spiral staircase. The zoning rules had allowed for a loft conversion within some limits, and Rufus had taken full advantage to give Dean a huge amount of extra space.

'What are you going to use this space for? Finally going to install that dungeon?' Castiel wondered as Dean showed him the new room.

'Nah, I thought about getting Rufus to dig a dungeon underneath the place, but I've got you now, I don't need to drag you back to a dungeon.'

'You've got me huh?'

'Yep. Mine now, sunshine.' Dean prodded Castiel in the ribs, grinning. He turned and looked at the huge room Rufus had created.

'Anyway, I was thinking we could make this our bedroom, and then the main bedroom downstairs could become a proper dining room. Or maybe a den. Charlie was talking about gaming set ups and speakers and surround sound kits, when I spoke to her the other day. But what do you think Cas, would this make a good bedroom?'

Castiel looked around the space, up at the sloping ceiling, roof beams still exposed. The space covered the whole floor plan of the house, making it a big, airy space, roof windows adding to the sensation.

'I think it would make a wonderful bedroom Dean. It's huge though, you could easily have two rooms up here.'

'I know, and we'll build in some storage and stuff, I still need a loft, somewhere to put the Christmas decorations and all that. But I like it, I like the big open space, it feels good. Does that make sense?'

Castiel kissed the tip of Dean's nose.

'I understand completely, when I did my place I made a lot of decisions based on what felt right. If this feels right to you, then it's right.'

'Thanks Cas. I'm trying to turn a bad thing into a good thing, trying to be positive. You having my back, it means a lot.'

'Always Dean.'

They shared their first kiss in Dean's new bedroom.

On Friday Bobby gave Dean, and the whole shop, a half day, and they made themselves into a painting party. Between eight of them they managed to paint the outside of the building, protecting it from weather, and they put a layer of base coat on everything inside that needed painting. Dean was amazed at how much difference paint on the walls made, the house turned from being a building site, into becoming a real home again as they worked. Dean tried hard to figure out a way to thank Bobby. He'd given him hours and hours off work, marshaled the other mechanics into an army to help Dean in his hour of need, called in huge favours, worked hard himself, not to mention his patience and confidence in teaching Dean his business, in order to turn it over on his retirement. Bobby was incredible. Dean owed the man a debt, for sure. He'd acted like a father to Dean, while his own dad had sat at home and drank his way through the whole horrible situation.

Dean was still mulling this over as he said goodbye to the guys when they left, and as he cleaned up the paintbrushes and rollers they'd used to make his house look like a home again. He was distracted as he locked his front door, and made his way to the car, still thinking about the kind of man Bobby was, all he'd done for him over the years, and how on earth Dean could ever repay him. So he didn't notice the figure moving silently, catlike, behind him until a blinding pain burst across the back of his head telling him that there was in fact someone there. Dean crumpled to the floor, out cold.

* * * * *

Castiel was worried, and he paced his lounge, trying to stay calm. Dean had texted him over an hour ago, saying that he'd finished cleaning up and that he was about to come home, and yet there was no sign of him. He should have been home by now, even with traffic. He wasn't answering his phone too, and that was rare. One of the things they often bickered about was the way Dean would answer the phone while driving, it drove Castiel crazy, but now he realized it meant that he had reason to worry. If Dean wasn't picking up the phone it meant that something was wrong. Castiel called Gabe and panicked down the phone at him, hoping that Gabe would set him straight and convince him not to worry. Gabe reasoned that maybe Dean had stopped for food and left his phone in the house or the car, but he had to admit that it was unlikely, Dean was increasingly paranoid at the moment and kept his phone by his side religiously in case of emergency. Gabe announced that he was coming over, he could at least keep Castiel company while he waited for Dean.

When Gabe arrived twenty minutes later, there was still no sign of Dean and he still wasn't answering his phone. Gabe figured better to be safe than sorry, and called Jody, and then Sam, while Castiel tried Dean's phone over and over. Sam called Bobby, and then called back to Gabe to say that when Bobby left the house, Dean had been cleaning up and planning to come straight home. He'd said nothing to suggest any planned detours, but Bobby would go back to the house and check on him, to see if he was still there. Sam was on his way to Castiel's house. Jess was on her way to the hospital to check if Dean had maybe had some kind of strange accident and been admitted as a John Doe. Plus if the worst had happened, she reasoned, and he had been hurt by Zach, she wanted to be at the hospital ready to care for him.  She warned Sam firmly not to do anything dangerous.

By now two hours had passed since Dean's text message. Bobby called to say he had been to Dean's house, and the Impala was there, but there was no sign of Dean. He reported that he'd run into Jody though and she had police out there canvasing the neighbours, but so far no-one had reported seeing anything alarming. Castiel was racking his brain, trying to figure out where Dean might go, and not tell him, or, if Zach was involved, where Zach would take Dean if he'd grabbed him. He came up empty all around. Sam pounded on his front door, and Gabe let him in as Castiel called Dean's number over and over, his panic rising. Gabe caught Sam up on Bobby's news and Jody's team's action, and their lack of any information. It seemed more than likely that Zach had taken Dean, but no-one had any idea where they might be. They couldn't get a location on Dean's cell until they could get a call to connect. Sam called his father, and joined Castiel in his pacing, terrified at what might have happened to his big brother. Bobby called, he and John Winchester were now checking possible locations, they'd been to Zach's childhood home and were on their way to his former church, but they were clutching at straws.

Castiel hung up his phone again, after another call to Dean failed to connect. He whirled around to see Sam for the first time, he hadn't even noticed the guy arrive. As he stared up at Sam, trying to find words, his phone chimed, the soft bell of a text message. He opened the message to find a picture of Dean, strapped to a chair, eyes closed. He was gagged, and his face was battered, bloody. Castiel gasped, handing the phone to Sam with shaking hands as nausea rocked through him. Helpless to resist it, he ran to throw up. When he came back Sam was on the phone shouting at Jody and Gabe was squinting at the picture, zooming in and out.

'Cas,' Gabe called, 'Come look at this.'

'What Gabe, what is it?'

'Look, in the background, is that what I think it is?'

Castiel had been so distressed at the image of Dean, bruised and bleeding, that he hadn't even looked at the rest of the picture. He frowned at the screen, focusing on where Gabe was pointing.

'Gabe, that's, it's the courier shop logo. He's at the shop.'

Castiel grabbed his keys, and bolted for the door, Gabe and Sam following. Gabe looked at Sam, and then quickly folded himself into the back of the bug, and Castiel peeled out of his parking space almost before Sam got his door closed. He drove like a demon, ignoring red lights and stop signs, in his desperation to get to the man he loved. Sam was yelling down the phone to Jody, and then again to Bobby, as they screamed through the streets of the city. All Castiel could think about was Dean.

He abandoned the car in the small parking lot behind the shop, and ran for the door, until Sam caught up and grabbed him, pulling him back.

'Cas, wait. You can't just run in there blind, you could get yourself killed, or get Dean killed. Think.'

Gabe caught them up.

'There's two ways in, the main customer door, out front, and through the workshop door there.' Gabe pointed.

'Where, do you think, where was Dean in the picture?' Sam breathed, trying to keep everyone focused.

Castiel was astonished at this man's ability to remain calm. He was ready to storm the building.

'In the tool room, at the back of the workshop.' Gabe supplied.

'Through that door, then which way?' Sam was thinking, planning.

'Left, there's a corridor and it's the last door.'

'OK, right, here's what we're going to do.' As calmly as he could, Sam set out their strategy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perfect Crime - Guns and Roses


	25. Seven Nation Army

Dean woke up slowly, his head pounding. He winced as he made to stand up, and then discovered that he couldn't move. Getting his bearings through the vicious pain that knifed through his skull, he fought rising nausea as he lifted his head and discovered that he was taped to a chair, his ankles and wrists strapped, and his mouth covered too. His tongue felt thick in his mouth and pain shot across his chest as he struggled in his attempts to free himself. It was semi dark as he looked around, the room lit only by a couple of neon signs, and street lights, but he could make out bikes racked on a wall, and tool chests around the sides of the room. He'd pretty much figured out that he was at the courier shop, when a hand appeared from nowhere and ripped the tape from his mouth. Dean swore, and then spat, coughing through the pain in his ribs as he breathed in too hard. A figure loomed into view in the half darkness, pulling a chair up to sit in front of him. Dean recognized him from the photo Sam had brought to them weeks ago.

'The fuck is wrong with you?' Dean spat again, trying to rid his mouth of the taste of blood and bile.

Zach spoke for the first time. His voice was soft, controlled.

'Dean, Dean, Dean. So foul mouthed, so uncouth. Pretty though. I can see why Cassie was taken with you. You should save your energy though. Maybe you can use it to die with dignity. Lord knows you didn't live with dignity. But that's neither here nor there.'

'Fuck you asshole.'

'Is that all you have? Come on Dean, you're going to die here, do you really want those to be your last words?'

'I'm not gonna die here asshole, if one of us is going down here, it ain't gonna be me.'

'So defiant, and yet. You're the one taped to a chair, and I'm the one with the knife...'

Dean paused when he saw the neon light gleam off the long blade of the knife in Zach's hand, for a second it was all he could focus on, until suddenly his preservation instincts kicked in. Keep him talking.

'Why are you doing this Zach? You really think if you kill me, Cas is going to just come running back to you, after what you did to him? To his family? You're crazier than I thought.'

'What I did to him? I freed him. I released him from the people who were holding us apart. I gave him the chance to live, unfettered, unyoked. To live without the restrictions family create. He loved me. I made sure of it, and I can make him love me again.'

'Bullshit.'

'I can Dean. Once you're out of the way, and he's over this silly infatuation, I'll have him back, sweet and obedient. He'd never really be able to love someone like you. You must see how far out of your league he is?'

Dean laughed, bitterly, eyeing Zach, who was steadily losing his cool. As he raised his head he caught movement behind Zach, instantly recognizing the long form of his brother, and he laughed again, harder, louder, trying to keep Zach distracted, looking at Dean.

'I guess you really don't know Cas any more man. Obedient is not the word I'd use to describe him. And so what if you think he's out of my league. You set fire to people's houses for fun. Why would I listen to you? You're insane.' Dean spat out as he struggled with his bonds. In his mind he prayed, _'Come on Sammy, I can't keep him talking much longer without pissing him off...'_

'Maybe you just bring out the worst of him Dean. Did you ever think of that? He was never defiant with me.'

'Maybe you just scared the crap out of him. Maybe you can't find anyone to actually love you, except by manipulating them and terrorizing them.'

Zach's eyes were black, wild with anger, focused on Dean as Sam crept closer.

'What would you know Dean?' He pointed the knife at Dean's heart. 'You're just an uneducated mechanic. What would you know about love?'

'I know that I love Cas, and I know that he loves me. And I know that you can go to hell.'

He watched as his brother swung a wrench around, aiming for Zach's head. Zach saw the movement and ducked at the last second, hurling himself at Sam. They rolled across the floor, the knife skittering away, as Sam struggling to assert his size in the fight. Dean screamed at Zach to leave his brother the fuck alone, as they struggled, until another figure joined the scene. Gabe appeared by Dean's side having retrieved the knife. He cut one of Dean's wrists free and, handing Dean the knife, he threw himself into the fracas, kicking and biting, doing everything he could to stop Zach. Zach threw Gabe off, slamming him against a wall, where the smaller man crumpled to the floor, unmoving, and then Zach wrestled the wrench away from Sam, swinging it into his gut, knocking the wind out of Dean's brother. As Sam doubled over, Zach whipped his knee up, into Sam's nose, dropping him hard to the floor, and following up with a kick to the face that knocked Sam out. Dean could see Sam bleeding, and was screaming at Zach as he cut himself free. He launched himself from the chair at Zach, who deftly ducked, rolling Dean over his shoulder and clattering him into the wall. Dean gasped, trying to catch his breath. His ribs felt like they were in a vice.

'How the hell did you get out of your chair Dean?' Zach picked himself up, and made for Dean, Sam's wrench still in hand.

Dean struggled to his knees, wiping blood from his mouth, fighting for oxygen through the pain in his chest. He searched with his hands for the knife as he watched Zach move towards him.

Zach approached menacingly, raising the wrench, ready to brain Dean with it. Dean dragged in a breath, hauling himself up, ready to fight, but suddenly there was a figure, whirling Zach around, screaming at him. Castiel was embracing every fear, every nightmare, all of his grief, and channelling it. He threw Zach to the floor, the wrench skidding across the room. They rolled around, as Dean staggered on his feet. Castiel was still screaming as he pounded his fists into Zach.

'He's mine! You fucking murdering bastard, mine! I love him. You can't hurt him. You can't, you won't! I won't let you. You murdered my family, you destroyed my life. You will not take him too. Never. You bastard, never, you fucking bastard!'

Castiel pummelled Zach with everything he had, working through everything that had tortured him for the last thirteen years. Dean vaguely heard sirens as Castiel took his therapy.

'Cas, Cas, stop. He's out, he's not going to hurt you any more.' Dean moved towards Castiel, reaching out to touch his shoulder, which required way more oxygen than his lungs could supply. Everything went black.

* * * * *

Dean woke in a white room. Everything hurt. He had several thoughts simultaneously. His brother, his boyfriend, Gabe, Zach, and fuck, everything hurt. He tried to sit up, a thousand knives jammed into his chest and he grunted with pain.

'Dean?'

'Uuugh.'

'Dean, you're awake. Thank god.'

'Cas?'

'I'm here Dean.'

'Sam? He OK?'

'Down the hall, concussion, broken nose, and a dislocated shoulder. Jess is incredibly pissed with him, so he might have more injuries by now, but he'll be OK.'

Dean shook his head to clear the fog, everything seemed very far away, and pain skewered through his ear.

* * * * *

He woke again several hours later, in slightly better shape. Sam was sitting by his bed, his shoulder in a sling, his face battered and worried. Jess stood next to him, holding his hand, cycling between scowling at his injuries and gazing tenderly at him, as she checked the cuts on his cheek. 

'Hold still Sam, I need to clean this up. We could have done this in your room, it would have been much easier.'

'Cas needed a break, someone needed to be here in case Dean wakes up. I told you all this.'

'You told me you weren't going to do anything dangerous too. You're lucky I was too busy with Dean to reset your shoulder, mister, I wouldn't have bothered with the painkillers the other nurse gave you. What were you thinking?'

Poor Sammy, Dean thought it was a good time to stage a rescue of his own.

'Hey Sammy.' Dean's throat felt like the Sahara. He reached out for the cup of water on the side table and Sam grabbed it for him. Once he'd refreshed his throat he tried again.

'Hey Sammy. You OK?'

Sam laughed. 'I'm fine Dean, how are you?'

'Hurts. Hey Jess, thanks for looking after Sammy. Where's Cas?'

'He went to get coffee. He's been here for like, twenty hours, we made him take a break. How are you feeling Dean? Do you need more pain relief?' Jess asked as she looked at him critically, reaching over to shine a small light into his eyes, which made Dean wince. 

'Don't be a wimp, Winchester, you're as bad as your brother.' Jess frowned at Dean but there was affection in her voice.

'Gabe?' Dean ventured.

'Sore head, a few bruises, mostly to his ego. Got off lightly.' Sam supplied.

Dean nodded, and then vowed never to do that again, as his skull rang with pain. Sam caught the wince in his brother's movements.

'Dean, you have a head injury, you're going to be in some pain for a while.' Jess was tucking blankets around him and scrutinizing the machines around his bed.

'Huh.'

Dean was quiet for a moment, piecing together his memories. The last thing he remembered was Castiel beating seven shades out of Zach.

'What happened Sam? Where's Zach?'

'He's three doors down. He's handcuffed to the bed with two cops watching him. He's not going anywhere for a while though. Cas really beat the crap out of him. Broken bones, bruised liver, cracked skull, Cas really fucked him up.'

'Is Cas OK?'

'He will be, now you're awake. He was the only one of us that came out of this without a scratch.'

Dean nodded. And then everything went black again.

* * * * *

When he woke again, Castiel was in bed with him, curled against him, arms wrapped around him. It felt wonderful, and he rolled over, ignoring the pain to curl closer to his man.

'Hey sunshine.'

'Hello Dean. How are you feeling?'

'Like crap. Everything hurts.'

Castiel pressed a sweet kiss to Dean's lips.

'Everything?'

'OK, not quite everything. You OK Cas?'

'I'm fine Dean, I'm more worried about you at the moment.'

'I'll live. I think. It just hurts. A lot.'

'I'm just glad you're OK Dean, I thought I was going to lose you, I thought he was going to kill you.'

'That was his plan, get me out of the way and show you the error of your ways. I'm paraphrasing but basically I'm a dumbass hick who's no good for you, and you'll be way more happy and obedient, with him.'

'Obedient?'

'Apparently it's a quality he desires in his men.'

'Humph. Can you see me being obedient?'

'No, sunshine. It's one of my favourite things about you.'

They fell silent for a moment, just holding each other.

'Cas?'

'Mmmm?'

'How'd you find me? And why didn't you wait for the cops? You could have been killed.'

'Zach sent me a picture of you. And we called the police but we got there first, and I couldn't just stand out there waiting for them to get there. It was like the fire all over again, but this time I knew for certain you were in there, and I couldn't wait around for him to kill you. I was ready to just run in there and do whatever it took to get you back. Sam's the hero though, he made us come in with a plan.'

'Right. Sam Winchester, mild mannered lawyer, planning a rescue?'

'Hey, he's a smart man and he saved all our asses, including yours, so shush. His theory was if we went in all at once, Zach would get the measure of what he was facing all at once. So he gave us all roles. Sam was going to take on Zach, Gabe was supposed to cut you loose while Sam and Zach were fighting, and then help Sam. I was the back up.'

'Why were you the back up?'

'Sam thought if Zach saw me first he might think he'd got what he wanted and he'd just go ahead and kill you.'

'Thank god for Sammy and his giant brain.'

'Yeah, I was pissed but he was right. I just wanted to get in there and get to you. Anyway I was watching from the doorway, while Sam and Zach were going at it. I saw Gabe cut you loose, then try to help Sam, then he got knocked out.'

'And then Zach beat the crap out of Sam, and then you saved all our asses.'

'That's the short version. I'd like to hear the longer version if you're feeling up to it, Dean.' Jody was standing in the doorway of Dean's hospital room.

Castiel made to move off the bed, and Dean caught his arm.

'Stay, please?'

Castiel nodded. He helped Dean to sit up, sympathizing as Dean groaned with the pain. Castiel knew what broken ribs felt like. He sat close to Dean, an arm around him, silently cataloguing Dean's cuts and bruises as Dean told Jody everything he remembered. When Dean got to his description of Castiel beating on Zach, he stopped for a moment.

'Jody, can we go off the, ah, record for a minute?'

Jody closed her notebook, and stuck it in her pocket.

'Cas,' Dean took Castiel's hand and looked lovingly at him, before continuing, 'well, he beat the crap out of Zach. The last thing I remember is Cas screaming and pounding on the bastard, and the sound of the sirens. But if you ask me to show up in court and say that, I'll tell the world that an imaginary werewolf showed up and tried to eat Zach or something equally ridiculous, you get me? Cas isn't going to prison for protecting me, I won't let it happen. I'll tell you the truth, because I trust you, Jody, but I'm not going to let Zach hurt Cas over this. He did what he had to, and what he needed to.'

'As far as I'm concerned, Zach received all his injuries when you defended yourselves against him. Whatever Cas might have done to him,' she cut her eyes to Castiel and smiled warmly at him, 'It was self defence.' For a second the professional mask dropped. 'And lets face it, he had it coming.'

'Thanks Jody.' Dean leaned against his boyfriend.

'Alright Dean, I'll let you get your rest. You won't be surprised to know that Zach broke his parole, and so he's going back to prison. We'll try him for the fire, and your abduction, and the breach of his parole by following you both around the mall too, there will be a selection of assault charges as well. Any charge we can think off, we'll throw at him. He's never getting out of prison again.'

'Thanks Jody.' Dean's voice was thick with sleepiness. The fuck was wrong with him? He'd done nothing and his body was exhausted. He felt Castiel's warm, reassuring presence, as sleep took him again.

* * * * *

Cas lay, curled against Dean, watching him sleep. He'd been out for a few hours now, but seemed to be coming to life again. His head rested back, his eyes were still closed but Castiel could feel him tensing and moving as he worked through his pains. After a moment, he opened his eyes and smiled at Castiel.

'Hey sunshine. You're still here. Any idea when they're going to let me out of here?'

'The doctor says you have a couple of cracked ribs, a head injury and an impressive collection of bruises and cuts. They're most worried about the head injury though. Zach hit you over the head with a baseball bat, more than once.'

'So, what does that mean?'

'Well it means they want to do another CT scan before they let you go.'

'Another? I had a CT scan?'

'Yeah, you had one yesterday, you were technically awake, but never mind.'

'How long have I been here, exactly?'

'It's Sunday night, so a couple of days I guess.'

'Time flies when you're having fun.'

Castiel pressed gentle kisses to Dean's face, avoiding his cuts and scrapes. Dean sighed into the touches.

'Cas, can I tell you something?'

'Sure Dean.'

'I hate hospitals. And hospital food especially, sucks. I just want to go home. With you. Love you so much.'

'I love you too Dean. Tomorrow maybe, we'll get out of here, try and be patient, OK?'

Castiel curled next to Dean, kissing him sweetly. He held Dean as he drifted away to sleep again, simply relieved to have the man he loved safe in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes


	26. When I Get Home

Dean made a terrible patient. He was finally granted his escape from the hospital on Tuesday evening, by which time he was driving everyone nuts, including Castiel, who's only moments of peace were when Dean was asleep. When he was awake Dean was grumpy and surly, he hated the room, the food, the bed, his visitors, the doctors, everything. He badgered the hospital staff constantly to let him go home. Castiel thought it was mostly adorable thankfully, though the rest of the hospital staff didn't see it that way, and even Jess suggested Dean try a different hospital the next time he needed care. Dean was almost sure she was joking though. He developed a finer understanding of why Castiel had been so grumpy the whole time he was in hospital when they'd first met, although to be fair, Dean still called him sunshine for a reason.

While Castiel waited to confirm Dean's release with the doctor and gather his medications and care instructions, he was ruminating on the irony of him now caring for Dean, in the same way Dean had cared for him. Dean would be coming home with Castiel, and he would be keeping a close eye on the grouchy patient to make sure he didn't over do it. Castiel felt a fierce sort of pride in getting to care for his man like this, after all it was Dean's willingness to care for him that had allowed them to get to know, and grow to love each other in the first place. Despite the circumstances of Dean's injuries, Castiel was happy to be able to return the gesture, without even needing to make any promises to any nurses along the way.

Jess had promised to check in on them later in the week, Sam was taking a few days off work for his own recovery, and so she would likely have her hands full, but still she was willing to help care for Dean if he needed it, and Castiel was touched by the offer. Castiel had seen the showdown between Jess and Sam when Sam arrived in the ambulance from the courier shop. Castiel had travelled with Dean, refusing to leave his side for a second, terrified because the man wouldn't wake up. They had arrived first to the chaos of the emergency room, and Jess had been right there waiting for them. As the doctors and nurses cared for Dean, whisking him away, Castiel was left to wait since he was relatively uninjured, and Jess had sat with him reassuring him until the second ambulance arrived containing Sam and Gabe. Jess had taken one look at Sam's injuries and thrown her arms around him as carefully as she could, whispering in his ear, something Castiel couldn't hear. After a moment though, once Sam had confirmed he was alright, she'd stepped back and yelled at him, in the middle of the ER. Sam had cringed like a puppy, until she relented and wrapped her arms around him again, smothering him in kisses anywhere that didn't look too sore. Sam had looked sheepishly over her shoulder at Castiel as she held him. Castiel had just shrugged, as if to say, hey, you knew she was going to be mad. Mad as she was though, she and Sam made the picture of a loving couple as she cared for his injuries. Castiel was sure they were going to be fine, it was clear Jess was only angry because she cared for Sam, and by the way he was gazing at her, Castiel was confident that Sam was as head over heels for her as she was for him.

Release paperwork in hand, Castiel made his way back to the room that had been their temporary home for the last few days, only to discover that Dean wasn't there, although his bag was still sitting on the bed. Castiel backed out into the corridor, looking up and down, trying to locate his boyfriend, concerned, Dean was still in a lot of pain, and Castiel had images of him lying crumpled in a doorway or something. Searching, he spotted him outside another room, looking through the small window set into the door. Castiel sighed. Everyone else, except Zach, had been released. Coming to stand next to Dean, he took his boyfriend's hand.

'Are you alright Dean?'

'Yeah, Cas, I just wanted to get a good look at him, you know? When I think about what he could have done to you, or to me, if you hadn't brought Sammy and Gabe with you... You know you broke your promise, sunshine?'

Dean's voice was soft as he stared through the window at the figure of his tormentor in the hospital bed. He was looking but not really seeing, fixated on what might have happened if something had gone wrong in their fight, and how close he'd come to losing almost everything he loved. His brother, his boyfriend, his friend, his life. It was too much to dwell on, and Castiel could feel his hands shaking as he tried to deal with it all.

'I couldn't keep it, Dean, not knowing that you were in danger. I just had to get to you, I couldn't have kept away if I tried. Dean, I love you, what else did you really expect? Would you have done anything differently, if it were me?'

'Yeah, I know. I would have done the same, you're right. I'm just glad you're in one piece, and I'm glad to know he's not going to be able to hurt us any more.'

Castiel slipped his arm around Dean as they stared through the window at the man who had dominated Castiel's nightmares for so long.

'Dean, can I tell you something?'

'Sure Cas, anything.'

'It felt good.'

'What did?

'Beating the hell out of him. You were out by the time the cops got there, and they had to drag me off him. But every punch, every kick, I thought about my parents and Anna, and you, and I took it all out on him. Best therapy I've ever gotten. But I did that to him, I put him in that bed, and it felt good. Does that make me a bad person, am I as bad as him?'

Dean turned away from the door, and took Castiel in his arms, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, looking deep into blue eyes filled with worry.

'No Cas, of course not. He tortured you, physically and mentally, he hurt the people you loved, murdered your family, he destroyed your life. You, you're not a bad person, and you're nothing like him. You're an angel, sunshine. You saved my life, you did what you needed to, to protect me, and yourself, and that's it. I hope it helps you, in the long run, what you did to him. You beat him, you stopped him. Try and remember that if he shows up in your nightmares, yeah? Don't dwell on what pain you inflicted on him, he doesn't deserve your pity.'

Dean pulled Castiel in for a hug, and they stood for a while, thinking their thoughts, trying to deal with everything that had happened to them.

'Jody tells me he's going straight back to lock up once the doctor signs off his release. He'll have a new trial, new charges, and we'll have to give evidence.'

'I can do that, you know I'll do anything I can to protect you.' Dean was confident, he was going to do anything he could to make sure Zach never messed with them again. To make his point he kissed his boyfriend, slow and deep, loving the sighs that came from Castiel as they reacquainted themselves after the horrors they'd been through. 

'I know Dean, lets just hope that's the end of it. It's exhausting, being scared all the time.'

'I hear ya. Hey, can we go home now? I really wanna get you home sunshine.' Dean nosed for soft kisses. 

'Sure, we need to make a stop along the way though.'

'Where?'

'It's a surprise.'

* * * * *

When they pulled up outside Dean's little house, Dean squinted at Castiel with confusion. Inside the house his confusion grew.

'How, who, what happened, Cas?'

Dean looked around at his house, painted and decorated, with pictures on the walls. In the kitchen appliances had been installed, and Castiel pulled open the new fridge, snagging two beers for them.

'You're only allowed one because of your painkillers, but it's a celebration, so here.'

He handed one to Dean, who twisted the top off, sipping slowly as he looked around in wonder. While there was no furniture in any of the rooms, every room was finished, doors had been hung, walls painted, and in what was his bedroom he found a display of family photographs which must only have come from Sam.

'We thought if you wanted to make this into a den or something, this would be a nice place to have your family pictures. You can change whatever you want, we just tried our best to figure out what you'd like, it's your place though.'

'Cas, it's amazing, who did all this? You've been at the hospital with me the whole time.'

'Bobby, and your dad. Gabe did some, Sam gave us photos, everyone pitched in really.'

'It's awesome, I don't deserve all this, Cas.'

'Come upstairs, there's something else you should see.'

They climbed the little spiral staircase slowly, and rounded their way into the new room, which was also painted. In the center, underneath sweeping skylights, sat a large bed, made up with the blankets and bedding Dean had chosen at the mall.

'I told Bobby which bed you'd been planning on getting. He and your dad went and got it, got it up here, don't ask me how, and set it all up for you.'

Dean wandered slowly over to the new bed, sinking down to sit on it, smoothing his hands over the covers.

'Memory foam?'

'Of course.'

'Awesome. Come here.'

Dean's voice was thick with gratitude and love, and he watched as Castiel made his way to Dean's side, sitting down next to him and pulling the injured man close. Sighing they lay back together, relishing the comfort of the huge bed over the hospital bed which Dean, and sometimes Castiel too, had been sleeping in.

'I love you Cas, I can't believe you did all this.'

'It wasn't me Dean, you need to thank your dad and Bobby. I just answered their questions and told them what you wanted.'

'No one's ever done anything like this for me before.'

'Well, make the most of it, Bobby swears he's never moving another piece of furniture again after getting this bed up here, he says you're on your own with the rest.' Castiel leaned up to look into Dean's face, looking serious for a moment.

'You're not alone though Dean, you've got me. I thought I was going to lose you, I thought I was going to get there and find you dead already. I have never been so terrified of anything in my life, as I was when I got to the bike shop, not knowing if you were alive or dead inside, what he might have done to you.'

Tears were falling from Castiel's eyes, dripping down his face, and onto Dean's where they mingled with Dean's own. Dean curved his arm gingerly around Castiel, pulling him in for a tender embrace.

'Hey, hey, it's OK, I'm OK, I'm still here, it's gonna take more than that to take me away from you, understand?'

Castiel nodded, and hung on, the full horror of everything they'd been through washing over him and finally beginning to subside. They lay together, taking comfort from each other's embrace. In the hospital the nurses had given up trying to make Castiel leave, or to at least sit in the chair. He'd needed to be close to Dean, and even in sleep, Dean seemed to need it too, moving to embrace his man as he slept. But the hospital had given them very little time to actually be alone together, to process all that they'd been through, and to come to terms with it. Now though, they had the time, and the privacy, and, so, safe in each other's arms they talked late into the night, snug together on Dean's new bed. Castiel explained in detail how he'd known where to look for Dean, and what had happened after the police and the ambulances arrived, as well as their arrival at the hospital. Dean told Castiel everything he could remember about the things Zach had said to him, and soothed the man in his arms with soft loving caresses when the tears fell again. Eventually, Dean felt Castiel drift to sleep in his arms, and he lay, staring out of his new skylight at the stars, thinking about the future, and praying for no more nightmares.

As Dean's wounds healed, he and Castiel filled his newly finished house with furniture, and eventually, Dean was able to move back in. Bobby was generous with sick pay, and encouraged Dean to take it easy when he did go back to the auto shop, parking him in the office and teaching him patiently how to do the books and invoice customers. Castiel helped Gabe clean up the courier shop, and they were back open for business in a couple of days, Castiel flying around the city on his bike, keeping one eye open for large black Impalas. Jess read Sam the riot act when she found out the details of what he'd done to rescue his brother. Sam concluded that she was legitimately more terrifying than Zach could ever be, and promptly asked her to move in with him. She accepted, and Bobby found himself moving furniture again. Dean thought the whole thing was hilarious, Sam was definitely out of his depth with Jess, and he seemed to like it. Every now and then though, Dean would catch Castiel smiling that wicked grin at him, and he thought that maybe being out of his depth wasn't such a bad feeling after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I Get Home - The Beatles


	27. Illuminated

After Dean was released from hospital, for the most part things went back to normal. Castiel fussed over him a little more than Dean would have liked, but he understood the need to care as a way of coping with what happened, and so unless it got really over the top he left his man to it, even though it wasn't really in his nature to let people care for him. Every now and then he'd find himself staring at Castiel, over dinner, or while the man did housework, or late at night while he slept in Dean's arms, and wondering how he'd ever been happy before the man threw himself into Dean's life. The love and affection he had for this man would wash over him, and that was when he would feel truly overwhelmed. He couldn't remember a time in his life where this kind of relationship, this kind of simple domesticity, had made him so happy, and he wondered sometimes if the baseball bat to the head had shaken loose some of his sappier tendencies. Choosing not to look the gift horse in the mouth, he tried hard to go with it. By this point in previous relationships, Dean would have been long gone, but strangely, the desire to hit the self destruct button wasn't there with Castiel, Dean wanted this, and he wanted it for all of his future too.

Realizing that the birthday night out he'd planned for Castiel was no longer going to be good enough to thank the man he loved for saving his life, and caring for him, and putting up with his grouchiness and generally for being awesome, Dean came up with a new plan. He turned over the show tickets to Gabe, who'd recently met a gorgeous lady called Kali whom he was hoping to impress with dinner and some musical theatre. Dean did try to express the adult content of the show, but Gabe seemed excited so Dean left him to it. He called his brother who helped him with the logistics of his plan, and slapped him on the back with a fond grin when he explained what he wanted to do. Jess went shopping with him, and helped him choose something perfect for Castiel, and she seemed as excited as Dean was. At seven on the night of his boyfriend's birthday, he picked up Castiel, who's eyes grew wide at the sight of Dean dressed up. He'd chosen the deep red shirt and black pants, the very same ones that had driven Castiel crazy in the mall.

'Happy birthday sunshine, get in.'

'Where are we going Dean?'

'Wait and see, it's a surprise.'

Dean steered the Impala out of the city, cruising up into the hills, until they were parked overlooking the twinkling lights of the city and the glittering waters of the bay, the whole city spread out at their feet, silent and beautiful. He got out of the car, indicating to Castiel that he should follow. Opening the trunk of the car, he grabbed a large basket, a couple of bags, and a blanket. He led the way to the top of the hill, where there was a clearing. It was a warm night, and the stars were out in force. They rounded a corner and Dean whispered in Castiel's ear, 'don't move,' before he vanished into the darkness. 

'What are you up to Winchester?'

'This. I thought we'd have us a night time picnic for your birthday, just the two of us. I hope you like it.'

Dean flipped a switch and dozens of tiny white lights lit up the tree branches above their heads.  Castiel gasped, looking up in wonder, and Dean mentally thanked Sam for his help, it really was beautiful, and it gave them just enough light to enjoy their evening. Dean shook out the blanket in his hands, sweeping it onto the ground and gesturing for Castiel to sit. He then began to dig in the bags he'd brought.  Castiel sat down on the blanket as Dean pulled a feast out of the bags, spreading a selection of treats before them, which included, at Gabe's insistence, sugary cupcakes. A small cooler held beer, and there was even a little battery powered stereo to give them music. They ate and drank, laughing at the sugar content of the cupcakes, gazing down at the city below them, feeling like they were the only two people in the world. Castiel loved it, it felt like the most wonderfully intimate dinner date he'd ever been on.

'Happy birthday Cas. Would you like your gift now?'

'There's a gift too?  This is wonderful. What did you get me Dean?'

Having cleared away the remnants of the food, they were lying on the blanket now, trading kisses and caresses, and dreams about the year ahead. Dean grinned, and tugged them both up into an upright position, so they were sitting eye to eye. He took Castiel's hands in his own, running his thumb over the knuckles, thinking about what those hands had done to save him.

'Well, look, Cas, we might have had a strange start to our relationship. I mean, how many people can say they met because they were in a car crash?'

'True, I maintain that it was your fault though, Dean, you weren't paying attention.'

'Well I'm paying attention now. You've turned my life upside down, Cas, most of it in a good way.'

Castiel grinned down at his hands, and Dean's long fingers tangled through his. They'd had their fair share of drama, that was true.

'And you made me realize that running headlong into a relationship isn't always a bad thing, if it's with the right person. We moved fast, but it's been worth it. You make me so happy, even with everything that's happened to us, all the shit we've been through. If I had to do it all again, I'd run you over like a shot, sunshine, no hesitation.'

Castiel laughed, it was a bizarrely affectionate thing to say. Dean took a deep breath, and Castiel gazed at him, lit by the tiny white lights, he looked very nervous all of a sudden.

'So I wanted to give you something that showed you how happy you make me, and how much I love you, and how much I appreciate you.'

Dean stopped and smiled, he was really going to do this. He leaned in for a soft kiss to give himself the courage he needed.

'What I'm trying to say is this, Cas, even with everything we've been through, my life is better with you in it. I'm a better person with you here, and I never want to think about a future which doesn't include you.'

Dean grew very serious, and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small, velvet covered box. Castiel swallowed hard when he realized just what was happening here. He had not seen this coming, and he felt his heart begin to race.

'Castiel Novak, I love you, so much, would you, please,' Dean's voice choked up, and his hands shook, he hadn't anticipated that asking such a simple question would be so hard. He swallowed, blinking a couple of times, and tried again.

'Sunshine, will you marry me?'

He opened the box, and handed it to Castiel, who took it with trembling fingers. Inside was a silver band, studded with a ring of tiny sparkling stones, it was beautiful. Castiel looked up at Dean, shocked, and then threw himself into Dean's arms, kissing him fiercely. As they came up for air, Dean caught Castiel's jaw gently, and looked him in the eyes.

'Is that a yes sunshine?'

'Yes, you asshole, yes, of course it's a yes!'

'Well OK then, no need to get mad at me, here.'

Dean took the ring and slipped it onto Castiel's finger. Castiel flexed his fingers, testing the weight of it there, the metal cool against his skin.

'I love it, I love you Dean Winchester, it's perfect. Thank you.'

'Happy Birthday, sunshine.'

That night Castiel finally got to experience the pleasure of making love in the back seat of the car, as Dean stood, tugging him to stand up too, and brought the blanket with them. Abandoning the food, Dean led Castiel to the car, nudging him into the back seat. Out here, in the hills, with no one to see them for miles, they had no fears of being caught, but there was still a thrill involved in making love in public.

Dean pressed Castiel down until he was lying on his back along the wide seat. Kneeling over him, he pulled his shirt off, helping his boyfriend do the same. Dean ran his hands over the smooth warm skin, loving the way Castiel's nipples came to life as the cool air washed over them. He bent his head to tongue first one nipple, then another, making Castiel sigh and moan. The cramped confines forced them into a closeness, and Dean could feel the heat coming from Castiel's body, the man's hands almost burned as they ran over his back, his chest, through Dean's hair, giving it a gentle tug. Lowering his body, he ground against Castiel, feeling their hardness pressed together, rocking in a now familiar rhythm.

Dean could feel his control starting to crumble though and he realized it was time to move this party along. He helped Castiel lose the rest of his clothes, mouthing at the array of goosebumps which appeared along the tops of his lover's thighs, before flicking his tongue over Castiel's rigid cock. Castiel's moans were loud in the small confines of the car, and Dean used his mouth and every trick he knew to pull Castiel to the edge, before slowing, holding him there as long as he could, until Castiel was a writhing mess beneath him, begging for release, and then Dean obliged, sucking him down, swallowing as Castiel emptied into his throat. Dean would never get tired of that feeling, being able to take his man apart with his hands and mouth.

Moving back up Castiel's body, he grinned in the dark, navigating by touch as much as anything, until he found his boyfriend's lips, kissing him deeply.

'Mmmm, you're way too good at that Dean.'

'Oh I'm not done with you yet sunshine.'

He pulled a little bottle of lube from his pocket, and grinned. Castiel could just about see him, and nodded. Reaching down, he unbuttoned those amazing black pants and Dean shimmied out of them and his underwear, and manhandled Castiel until he had the man sitting on his lap, chests pressed together. Slicking his fingers, he reached around to begin prepping his man, opening him up slowly and tenderly, all the while whispering in his ear a combination of sweet encouragement and lewd words as Castiel began to fuck himself onto Dean's fingers.

'Dean, fuck, I need you, come on.'

'Wait Cas, I gotta find the condom.'

Castiel growled. 'We don't need one, you got tested for everything at the hospital, and so did I. Please, can we just...'

Dean nodded, hardly able to think with Castiel grinding against him, and then the man took his cock in hand, slicking it with lube, and sinking down on it until they were nose to nose again. Castiel sighed with happiness, wrapping his arms around Dean's shoulders, feeling Dean's arms come around his back, holding him close.

'Slowly?' Castiel breathed in Dean's ear, and that sent a jolt of heat to Dean's dick, which was already in it's happy place.

'Yeah, baby, otherwise this is all gonna be over way too fast. I wanna feel this, you understand?'

Castiel nodded, pulling back to kiss Dean, hot and wet, slipping his tongue into Dean's mouth, as he began to rock on Dean's dick, excruciatingly slowly. Between kisses he reminded Dean how hot he was, how much he loved him, how much he loved being fucked by him, dragging out every movement as they pressed their skin together, every touch filled with love. Dean was like putty in his hands by the time Castiel began to pick up the pace, soft and malleable, blissed out with the feeling of such slow, loving sex. He ran his hands up Castiel's back, up his neck and through his hair, gently scratching with his fingernails into Castiel's scalp as the man writhed on his cock, moaning into his mouth as his movements sped up. Castiel fucked himself onto Dean, now harder and faster, groaning loudly at the sensation, sobbing into Dean's ear, and when he licked into Dean's ear, it drove Dean wild, he responded by jerking his hips to meet Castiel's movements, and now they were pounding, racing to the edge, Castiel's dick trapped between them, and he knew, he knew somehow that he was going to come again. Dean's orgasm took him hard, and he bit down on Castiel's shoulder, pulling the man's hair as he bucked his hips through it, and that was what did it for Castiel.

'Fuck Dean, fuck,' and Castiel was skidding out of control, unable to stop the climax, which left him boneless and weak. Dean clutched him tight as they both caught their breath.

Pulling off, Castiel grabbed a corner of the blanket they'd brought, to clean them both up a little, and then flipped it around to cover them both as they snuggled together in the back seat, feeling the chill of the night air for the first time. In the darkness Castiel brought his hand up to his face, reflecting the little light there was off the stones in his ring.

'You like it Cas?'

'I love it, Dean, almost as much as I love you. We're getting married.'

'Well yeah, that's normally what happens after a proposal, you have a wedding. I know our relationship started out unconventionally, but I thought we might try this bit like normal people do. What do you think?'

'I think you're an ass Dean. But I already said yes, so what can I do?'

'I'm an ass, but I'm your ass.'

Castiel laughed and pulled Dean closer.

'If you're my ass, then I have a very fine ass. I'm a lucky guy.'

'Love you sunshine.'

'I love you too Dean.'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illuminated - Hurts
> 
> JennaAngel - you are absolutely right, this song is perfect, thank you for the suggestion!


	28. Epilogue - One Day Like This

'Dean?'

'Yeah Cas?'

'Do you think, if we're going to get married, we should maybe think about moving in together?'

'Uh, yeah sunshine, I guess we probably should.'

Dean lay nude, sprawled across his bed. Several weeks had passed since their engagement. They were finally done celebrating with their friends and family, and were now dealing with the details. Part of the challenge was around waiting for Zach's trial date to be set. Dean wanted nothing to interrupt their plans, especially the honeymoon, and so they were sort of in limbo, working out what details they could. Dean had to admit, where they were going to live was a pretty important detail. As he thought about it, Castiel pressed kisses between Dean's shoulder blades, following the pattern of the sunlight on his skin from the skylights above them, which made his freckled skin glow, reminding Castiel of a Greek god.

'My house is bigger,' Castiel pointed out between kisses, and as a technique Dean found the approach very persuasive.

'I know,' he agreed, 'prettier too. But after everything we've been through to get this place back, I don't really want to sell it.'

Castiel worked his way further down Dean's back. It was deliciously distracting.

'Well I've been thinking about that Dean.'

Dean rolled over to look at his fiance. 'Of course you have, sunshine.'

Castiel grinned and pressed his body against Dean's, leaning in for a deep kiss. For a while they were lost in the sensation of skin touching, hands exploring. Eventually Castiel came up for air though.

'Seriously Dean, I've been thinking about it.'

Dean groaned, he'd just been getting nicely warmed up. Dropping his head back, he shut his eyes for a moment, hoping Castiel would relent. Cracking one eye open, he squinted at the dark haired man pressed over him, who still looked like he wanted to talk about moving house.

'You really want to talk about this right now?'

To make his point clearer he rolled Castiel onto his back, and straddled him.

'I think we should.'

Dean rolled his hips. 'Right now sunshine? Right this minute?' He leaned down and pressed a hot kiss to Castiel's mouth, flicking his tongue inside, teasing.

'Mmphh, I could be persuaded to revisit the subject later.'

'Thought so.' Dean was smug as he leaned down further, and pressed a wet kiss to Castiel's navel. Snaking his hands around lithe cyclist's hips, caressing down his thighs, he pulled Castiel's legs open, and licked a long, hot stripe, from the base to the very tip of his lover's, by now, impressively hard cock. They knew each other intimately, and yet Castiel still managed to surprise him, the scarves tied around the headboard left over from last night, were one such instance. Dean had been surprised at how willing he'd been to surrender to Castiel's touch, even when blinded. But now, this morning, lying together in a patch of warm light, all he wanted was to fuck his fiance, slow and deep, to see just how long he could distract the man from this whole house thing. As it turned out, Dean's powers of distraction were impressive, Castiel submitted willingly to the plan, opening up for Dean as he pressed inside, rocking with him as they found their pace, and gripping him tight as they came, moments apart.

Lying with his head on Dean's chest, some considerable time later, Castiel's thoughts slowly regrouped. Dean got there first though, as he ran his hands through Castiel's soft dark hair.

'So what have you been thinking Cas? Should I be worried?'

'I don't think you need to be worried, Dean. But I hope your brother didn't give you too much grief about how quickly we got engaged.'

All told, from first meeting to their engagement had taken something like four and a half months. It might seem sudden to an outsider, but it felt right to them. As Castiel had said before, he'd made a lot of important decisions based on what felt right, and this decision was no different. Besides anyone who spent more than two minutes with the two of them together could see how besotted they were. They might bicker like, well, like an old married couple, but they knew that they were meant to be together, they had a confidence in each other that was unshakeable.

'What do you mean Cas? Can you be less cryptic please, my brain's still fuzzy.'

'Well I don't know if you noticed, but when we went out last night, Jess didn't touch a drop of alcohol.'

'So, she was driving. She's dating captain sensible, what do you expect?'

'She was driving, last Tuesday, and the Friday before Dean.'

'She was? Huh.'

Castiel could see the wheels turning. He sat up a little and frowned at Dean.

'It really is a good job you're so pretty Dean. Think about it, why would a woman who practically has shares in Jose Cuervo, suddenly stop drinking?'

'Holy shit! We're gonna be uncles! I'll kill him, I had the damn talk with him and everything.'

'Bingo, you got there in the end!'

'Very funny sunshine. What does this have to do with my house?'

'Well I was thinking, they live in a tiny apartment, with no garden, and no space. They're going to want somewhere a bit bigger right? You could move in to my place, and they could move in here. You can give it to them for cheap rent, we'll cut our costs by only paying for one house, and they get more space.'

'That's not a bad idea. Hey, I like that idea a lot. Should I call Sammy and tell him we're onto him, d'you think?'

'You should probably wait for them to let you know, it seems like the polite thing to do, it might be very early days for them yet. But once they do share, you can offer them this place, and they'll think you're awesome, like I do.'

'And you don't mind me invading your space? It's not like I have a lot to bring with me I guess.'

Dean looked around his bedroom. While they'd replaced all of the basics after the fire, it was the things like his records and his books, the collections he'd made over a lifetime, that he missed the most.

'Don't be ridiculous, of course I don't mind. And that reminds me.' Castiel rolled over and fumbled under the bed.

Dean checked out his fiance's gorgeous ass for a moment, and then Castiel was up again, flushed, sitting next to him, with a blue box in his hands.

'I got something for you. I know you didn't want an engagement ring, because of work, so I got you something else instead. I wanted you to have something special. This ring, it means the world to me, and I thought you should have something that reflects that too. Here, open it.'

Dean frowned at his man, they'd talked after the night Dean had asked Castiel to marry him, and Dean had explained that he didn't want an engagement ring, not because he wasn't proud to be marrying his man, but because as a mechanic, it was inevitable that the ring would get scratched or bent or lost, or worse, if he got his hand trapped, it could mean it being cut off his finger. Basically mechanics and rings didn't go well together. They were yet to solve the wedding ring conundrum this caused, Dean wanted something to show his commitment to Castiel, but he had no idea what yet. But apparently in the meantime Castiel had still been thinking about engagement gifts. Dean took the box, pulling the satin ribbon away, and lifting the lid. Inside was a collection of books. But not just any books. Dean looked at Castiel in wonder, as he reverently pulled the books from the box.

He found Slaughterhouse Five, The Catcher in the Rye, and Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? All the books Dean had read to Castiel in the hospital, and all hardbacks. Dean thought they looked old too, and then he opened the Catcher in the Rye, and stopped breathing for a second. He opened the other two books, and looked at Castiel, astonished. Castiel had managed to find three of his favourite books, three books that now held a deeply emotional significance for him, and all in first edition prints.

'Cas, how? How did you find these?'

'I had some help, my publisher was incredibly useful. I thought they would make a good start to your new collection, and I've ordered some new shelves to go in the lounge, so you have somewhere to put them, and the rest of your books too, when you get round to replacing them. Do you like them?'

'They're wonderful, they're perfect, thank you so much. I couldn't ask for a better engagement ring.'

'I want you to make my place your home Dean, when we're married it will be yours too. That means more than just moving your stuff in, if you want to make changes, redecorate, that kind of thing, we can do it together. We can make it our home.'

'You're sure? I know how much work you put into that place, you really want me and my crap cluttering it up?'

'I can't imagine anything better.' Castiel pressed kisses to Dean's lips, between smiles.

'Hey, Dean? I was wondering, would you read to me again sometime?'

'I'll read to you whenever you want sunshine. Any time you like. How about now? We have nowhere to be right?'

Castiel sighed with pleasure, leaning against Dean, as he pulled blankets around them both, opened The Catcher in the Rye, and began to read from his engagement gift. Castiel relaxed into the honey of Dean's voice, feeling it vibrate through Dean's chest and into his own body, the sound bringing feelings of warmth and safety.  He felt an enormous swell of gratitude that this incredible man had been the one to run him over. The crash had broken his body, and forced him into the close confines of a man he didn't know, a man he had no reason to trust, or even to like. A man who turned out to be kind and thoughtful, brave and genuine, smart and funny. Dean was, he'd discovered, willing to care for him and fight for him, which was wholly unexpected. Castiel had fallen in love, offering up his home and his heart in a way he'd been unable to do for so long. The crash had been painful, the recovery hard, and the subsequent relationship heartbreaking and terrifying at times. As he lay in the arms of the man he loved, the man he'd promised his future to without reservation, he knew without a doubt that it was also the best thing to ever happen to him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One Day Like This - Elbow
> 
> And this brings us to the end of this story, although perhaps not the end of the road for these two. I was so reluctant to post this final chapter, that I've started work on a sequel. I think there's at least one more story here to tell about these two guys and their friends and families. 
> 
> It's hard to believe that when I got the idea for this story, all I had was Dean knocking Castiel off his bike, and Castiel being mad about it. It sort of grew into something much bigger than that, and it's been so much fun to write. A big part of that is down to you guys who've been reading along and showing me such great support. Thank you all so much for reading, your comments and kudos have been so wonderful, truly inspiring to me. I can't tell you how much I've appreciated them! You all are wonderful.
> 
> Kat 
> 
> xxx


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